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Living with Loss


KayC

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I received his memorial stone today and have it on his grave.  I'm so glad we have him lying next to Skye, they were like brothers as they lived together for a time.  I feel better having his stone on his grave, although it was very emotional getting it and placing it there.  So hard to go through this by myself.

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This morning I emptied Arlie's water bucket, it's been 13 days...

When I picked it up, I saw a lock of his fur under the bucket.  I lost it.  I was on my way to help at the senior site...I bawled the whole way.  But not before I put his fur in a little ziploc bag and put it in my purse.  It smells of him.  My sweet baby, oh God how I wish I could start our lives over together and have that time with him yet to experience!  My little wild-eyed boy.

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

This morning I emptied Arlie's water bucket, it's been 13 days...

When I picked it up, I saw a lock of his fur under the bucket.  I lost it.  I was on my way to help at the senior site...I bawled the whole way.  But not before I put his fur in a little ziploc bag and put it in my purse.  It smells of him.  My sweet baby, oh God how I wish I could start our lives over together and have that time with him yet to experience!  My little wild-eyed boy.

Aww, I know, Kay. I still get upset as well. Been getting upset a little more lately while thinking of my little girl. It is hard. I also put some of Lady G.'s fur in a small plastic bag. I keep it up here beside me on my computer desk. I also kiss the bag every night before going to bed. LOL I miss her beyond words, as I know you feel the same about your sweet Arlie. Maybe the two of them found one another and became friends, looking down at us together and seeing just how much we love them still. 

Hang in there, Kay. 

 

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Thank you...I think people are beginning to think I'm a little over the edge. People do not feel about their animals as I do...I sense you do also and it makes me feel a little more normal.  I'm taking care of a neighbor's three large dogs, 2 sheep, chickens, cat, and garden this weekend...a little nervous.

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

.I think people are beginning to think I'm a little over the edge.

Well, you know I don't think so.  Let me tell you about when we suddenly lost our Charlie.  My strong, usually calm and somewhat stoic husband paced around the surgical area crying while our vet, who was wonderful, tried to save him. But Charlie had developed a pulmonary edema for no discernible reason and nothing could be done.  I had never before seen my sweetheart lose it like that.  He kept sobbing, "No, no, no..." and when we got home we both collapsed in tears.  Later, while I went to tell my mom, who loved Charlie and had just lost my dad 6 months before, my husband went through the house and picked up all of Charlie's things.  He hung his collar and lead in the bedroom, but put everything else away.  When I got back, there he was in his chair crying, stroking our very upset cat, and absolutely destroyed with grief.  We all three, including the cat, grieved for a pretty long time.  Years later, I let my husband read some of my poetry.  He came to one about Charlie and started crying just as if no time had passed since we lost him.

People who haven't had that kind of a bond with an animal find it strange and incomprehensible that we can love and feel that depth of loss.  They just don't get that our pets give us so much love and companionship, while asking only to be loved in return.  Of course, not all pets are the same.  It takes just the right pet with just the right person.  We know we'll lose them someday, but the grief is no less when it happens.  All we can do is our best to make the months and years matter.

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

Thank you...I think people are beginning to think I'm a little over the edge. People do not feel about their animals as I do...I sense you do also and it makes me feel a little more normal.  I'm taking care of a neighbor's three large dogs, 2 sheep, chickens, cat, and garden this weekend...a little nervous.

I don't think so - not at all!  Out babies are just that and the loss is tremendous for you, so take your time and whatever you are feeling and doing, is fine. I've kept three of Missy's favorite stuffed animals and feel that I will forever miss Li'l Golden Missy Moon Child's (or the many others names she had) closeness and companionship.  

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I had a hard time letting go of Duck.  He had a special fondness for it, like my daughter did with her "Little Bear" when she was a little girl.

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I understand that - it was nice you left it with him. Of all our cat's things I took this large mouse with a pink tail. I still have it. Besides photos, it is all I have. At this point, 2 years later, I have not gotten rid of it. Our cat we have now actually played with it the other day which made me happy. 

As for crying after seeing his fur under the water bucket, that would be all it take for me. I would lose it. I didn't think it was possible for a human to cry as much as I did. Felt like I was setting a world record. :(

I am sure you feel the same.

Hope the weekend taking care of those animals is going well. 

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You all may have seen this already today, but I thought it was great and had to share.

 

1030157108_Dogheaven.gif.37773bb46d4582dd937d3ccecfb2456c.gif

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That is so sweet, I love that, thank you!  I'm sharing it on FB!

The living with loss continues...I keep expecting to see him on the loveseat or wanting to give him my "last bite of food."  It's still so hard to believe I won't see him any more.  :(

 

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Had something strange happen today...I came home from working at the church and Arlie's recliner by the window, the footstool was out.  I haven't sat on it, the cat was outside all day, it wasn't like that when I left...made me wonder.

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Last night I dreamed about losing Arlie, all night long, it was horrible.  I wake up and it's real...the thing I've feared most since I met him.  I can't wake up from this dream.  :(

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We are having a tremendous thunder & lightening storm, lasting 36 hours, with wind gusts and rain.  Extreme fire danger with the lightening.  Someone posted on FB about their dog being afraid of thunder...it seems everything triggers my loss.  Arlie wasn't afraid of it, he was so self-assured, it was pleasant.  My previous dog had been scared of everything.  He did have separation anxiety but if he was in his security zone (doghouse, pen, or in the house with me), he was fine.  I miss that boy so much.  He was just one of a kind.  I realize now that my never minding being alone was largely because I had him here with me.  Now I'm truly alone...reaching out to God.

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Yesterday was three weeks Arlie has been gone.  I'm having a hard time with it, I hope he knows how much I love him, how I wanted him here with me always, I feel bad that his Colitis diet fed the cancer, but I also know if he hadn''t been on the Colitis diet he was, he would not have lived as long as he did, we were just damned if we did, damned if we didn't, it's a horrible position to be in.  I love Arlie more than life and wish I could have him back, cancer free, it's so unfair that such a good dog should have to suffer like he did.  The pain in my heart is incredible, my BS has been up throughout this whole ordeal, I'm sure my BP is too.  Trying to get through each day without him, it's beyond hard.  I keep looking out over my backyard at his grave.  Oh Arlie, I know you aren't there, how I long to see you again, your spirit, your personality, I miss you so much!

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On 9/2/2019 at 3:00 PM, KayC said:

Had something strange happen today...I came home from working at the church and Arlie's recliner by the window, the footstool was out.  I haven't sat on it, the cat was outside all day, it wasn't like that when I left...made me wonder.

For years, whenever I would stand at the counter chopping carrots or apples, I could swear I felt a cool, wet nose nudge the back of my knee.  More than once, I was sure I could feel him in the room.

See, we didn't feed Charlie from the table, but we did put treats like bits of cooked chicken or crumbled crispy fish skin in his bowl.  And he was allowed to "clean up" if I dropped certain things.  He'd always come in behind me, but didn't want to startle me or get stepped on, so he'd stick his nose into the back of my knee to say,  "I'm here, mom.  I've got your back.  If you drop something, I'm on it!"

I really believe they're letting us know that they're okay and will be waiting when it's our time.  I felt the tiniest bit of comfort when I told my husband that it was okay to stop fighting and he should go find Charlie and Penny.

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This particular recliner was his, he always sat in it to look out the window.  When he sat in it it was extremely rare for it to recline as you have to pull the lever...it took more effort than just accident to recline it, that's one reason it made me wonder, unlike my recliner that comes out if you breath wrong!  The fact that it was HIS, too...

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I am still bawling every day.  Everything is a reminder of how much I miss him.  He was the perfect dog for me, there is none like him.  I hope he knows how much I love him and that I didn't want to euthanize him, I hope he doesn't feel betrayed.  I don't know that I'll be at peace with this until heaven.  I still struggle with eating and not being able to give him the "last bite."  My home feels so empty.  :(

I finally heard from that dog rescue I inquired of, they want me to drive 3 1/2 hours to stand in line before 6 am, to maybe get a dog that may or may not be good with cats.  They can't be bothered to check that out.  They should have known that before they listed him!  $550 for a mutt! No guarantees they won't sell him to someone else first.  They've cut off the "holding him" part because of THEIR lack of response in time!  I tried getting them to answer my question for TWO weeks!  I am still bawling over Arlie and it feels hopeless I'll ever get a dog.  The humane society just has chihuahuas and pit bulls, the ones I'd consider are on a "found" list for three months and they won't even show them, let alone adopt them out.  Their fosters get first pick.  And the other rescue places I checked require you live within 30 miles of Eugene, I'm 60-75 miles away depending on where in Eugene.  It's ridiculous. I looked on Craig's list, unless I'm willing to take a Chihuaua or Pit Bull or something large, nope.  Cats everywhere, but not dogs.  I had the perfect dog for me, perfect.  :( 

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4 hours ago, KayC said:

I had the perfect dog for me, perfect. 

Yes, you did.  I'm going to speak for Arlie for a moment. 

If he could, I believe he would thank you for sharing your love with him and tell you that he loves you with all his heart and soul.  He'd tell you that he had a full, rich life and that you gave him more than he could ever have imagined.  He'd make sure you know that he too wishes you had had more years together, but that your sacrifice in doing the right thing for him, letting him leave for the next world still surrounded by your love, was the greatest gift you could have given him.  He'd remind you that you put him first, which is not a betrayal, but a confirmation of your love for him.

The day you are reunited with George and Arlie, they will tell you that you never let them down and that they are and will always be your soul mates.  (Yes, I believe we have more than one and that we "complete" each other in different ways.)

Based on your description, I'm rather disgusted with the rescue organization.  While I know that most do want the animals they rescue and adopt out to be close enough that they can check on their welfare at times, a 30 mile restriction is absurd, especially in rural areas.  We had considered rescuing a lovely Keeshond from the same family line as our Charlie, but we're 180 miles from the rescue group.  We would have gladly taken him to check in with them a few times during the first year, but they wanted to be able to do spot inspections.  We're in a mostly rural area, so the odds of finding and adopting a rescue animal locally are pretty small.

Kay, please, please eat whether you want to or not.  Take care of yourself.  Remember that when (or if) the time is right, you will find a companion to share your life, your love, and your home.  You have so much love to share that I am certain your heart will feel when it is right.

Big warm comforting hugs are coming to you from me, today and always.

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I recently took care of a neighbor's three dogs, one is Joe, the chow I walk, the other is a Keeshond/Husky, if I could find a dog like her I would glady adopt as she's small enough for me to handle but has the Husky talk, which I love, and is a beautiful sweet dog.  VERY hard to find!

I am taking care of myself, no need to worry there.  I am discouraged, of course, I don't know how I could feel otherwise.  This has been a very difficult time, since June 6.

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6 hours ago, KayC said:

the other is a Keeshond/Husky,

What a great mix.  If you do end up with a Kees or Kees mix, you will have a treasure.  They were bred to protect the family, especially the children, on the barges in the Netherlands.  They're generally smart and can learn many word and sentences.  Our Charlie was particularly sharp, knew hundreds of words and phrases, and had very specific ways of telling us what he wanted or needed.  He was gentle and protective of the whole family.

Kees are wonderful companions.  Our vet sat us down when we brought Charlie in for his first well puppy check up and made sure we understood that Kees need people, that they can't just be put out in the yard and left alone.  My husband had had Kees before, so we already knew the drill.  Our Charlie the perfect furry boy for our family.

I hope you find just the right new companion to fill your heart with love.

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It could take me a year or so to find a dog, I'm realizing that now, it's going to take looking and patience.  The other dog they have is nice too, 70 lbs. short fur, curled up tail, forgot what she said he was, something I'd never heard of before.

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Joe bit me yesterday, three times in succession, no warning, no growl, no curled upper lip, nothing.  I cried because Arlie never would have done that, never.  It really surprised me.  I don't feel the same now because I can't trust him.

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Oh no! Are you okay?? That must have hurt - unless they were softer warning bites?

I guess you cannot trust him, no. So sorry please be careful. The right dog will come at the right time KayC. I just know it.

And about your comment it's "so sad that such a good dog would have to suffer." I know. At least Arlie didn't suffer longer - alone or without you.

I feel the same way about our cat.That at the end he'd go through such agony. Thank God it was only for a couple hours. Thank God we were there at least to get him help and put him down once saving him seemed impossible. Thank God we had 10 pretty good years. But his last year had a lot of vet visits, teeth cleaning, and he had a cyst on his tail we had operated on and he had a cone for his last month. I wish I had not done any of it because it didn't matter, it was just stress and suffering. But like you always say, we do the best we can with what we know. At least we try our best for these innocent animals and you sure did. 

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I understand.  I kind of wonder if I shouldn't have had Arlie euthanized sooner, but all the second guessing really doesn't help, we do our best with the wee bit of knowledge we have, and everything we do comes from our hearts.

I had a long talk with the owner last night, I wish they'd shared more of his backstory with me in the beginning.  He is a good dog that has been through a LOT and I wish him only the best.  The bite/s hurt at the time but not later, it hurt my feelings the most.  Yesterday he looked at me thoughtfully and gave me a kiss, it meant a lot.  I will be much more careful around him in the future.

I'm realizing it could take a year and a lot of looking to find the right dog for me, and a whole lot of patience.

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It might take that long although you never know. I guess in the end I was glad we couldn't adopt right away. Although had a homeless kitten/cat stumbled onto our porch I'd have taken him immediately. But I had so much grief to process. Shopping for the new cat's food and toys had me in tears. (Supposed to be a happy day, I was still so upset.)

I'm glad you talked to the dog's owner more and got more info. Sorry it happened. 

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Monday was one month...it's hard to believe, a friend of mine lost her dog Monday. 

It's hard to take the reality of never kissing your sweet face again.  I'm tempted to dig you up just to see you again but I know better.  God you are missed!  I love you forever, sweet boy!

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On 9/18/2019 at 5:35 AM, KayC said:

a friend of mine lost her dog Monday.

Our daughter had to have their 14 (or so) year old cat put to sleep on Monday.  She called me barely able to choke out the words and terrified of how it would affect our granddaughter.  She knew it was coming, even letting our granddaughter stay home from school to take of him that last day.  He was a sweet boy who showed up one day about 5 years ago and "adopted" them.about a month after they lost their 15 year old cat (another sweetie, though with a bit of an attitude).

What just ripped me up was when our daughter told me that the next morning, our granddaughter begged to wear one of her mom's oversize hoodies to school.  Those hoodies were her grandpas, so there's double emotional connection there.  Then, she looked at her mom, crying hard, and said, "I want my life back, mama."  She'll be 11 at the end of the year and has had far too many stresses and losses over the last 2 years for a girl her age.  Heck, it's been more than us grown up girls can handle.  I'm amazed with how strong our "little" girl has been.  I'm pretty PO'd about her having to deal with one more loss right now.  Sigh.

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I'm so sorry.  It's really hard to watch a child go through it.  I can barely handle it myself.  Last night on the phone with my son we were reminiscing over memories of Arlie when I started bawling again.  It feels just like losing my husband did.  It feels weird that it can have so much effect on me, my son said, "Well you've been alone with him a whole lot longer than you were with George!"  And he's right, and retired with him the last six years.  

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I think Arlie probably triggered a lot for you. George was such a powerful loss/experience and now with Arlie you are going through it all again. :( Also saw it was a month on Wednesday. When we used to travel I would hate being away from my cat for a week or two. Not having him for a month was a big heartache.  

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I don't feel triggered over George, it's been a very long time, this is all grief for Arlie...I picture him laying around the house in his usual spots and then the vision of him disappears into nothingness and I'm left alone with my grief.  it's hard to think I won;t see him again in this lifetime.  So many people say animals don't have souls and won't go to heaven, I wish they'd shut up, frankly, why do they feel the need to upset me, that is NOT a comforting thought!  Besides, it doesn't make sense, God is the one who created them and loves them even more than I do, he put us in charge of caring for them, it wouldn't make sense that's how He'd handle it.  I have to be with my Arlie again!  I keep remembering his sweet face as he laid there, just after he died and when we were burying him, I kissed his sweet face, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

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4 hours ago, KayC said:

So many people say animals don't have souls and won't go to heaven,

They are wrong.  Even my mom's minister agrees that animals are innocent, simple souls so of course they go to heaven.

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So yesterday was my first birthday without Arlie and it was really hard.  I went out with my sister and a mutual friend and we shared dog stories, mine about Arlie and Skye (my granddoggy I lost six years ago).  Sunday I was tending a burn pile in my back yard and cleaned up dead branches near Arlie's grave, it was hard, I found myself (again) crying at his grave and just missing him unbearably.  I feel like I'm not progressing at all but I suppose this is just all part of the process and it takes what it takes.  I know I won't cry forever but so far I have these past 7 1/2 weeks.  He was just so perfect.

God, Arlie, I miss you! :(

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3 hours ago, KayC said:

So yesterday was my first birthday without Arlie and it was really hard.  I went out with my sister and a mutual friend and we shared dog stories, mine about Arlie and Skye (my granddoggy I lost six years ago).  Sunday I was tending a burn pile in my back yard and cleaned up dead branches near Arlie's grave, it was hard, I found myself (again) crying at his grave and just missing him unbearably.  I feel like I'm not progressing at all but I suppose this is just all part of the process and it takes what it takes.  I know I won't cry forever but so far I have these past 7 1/2 weeks.  He was just so perfect.

God, Arlie, I miss you! :(

I know, Kay. I cried my eyes out for several months straight, every single day, after losing Lady G. I still shed tears for her often, but not every day like before. It still hurts bad, though. And I still go out back and visit her grave daily and nightly, to say a few words to her. Even kiss my hands and pat her grave with them. My neighbors probably think I am nuts, and maybe I am, but they all knew she meant the world to me. I will continue to show her love, even in death. It's a tough thing to go through. There is no script to follow, we just have to do what comes to heart to get through it, I guess.

They say our beloved pets wouldn't want us to cry and be sad forever, but, God, it's hard not to! 

Bless you Kay. I truly hope you can get to feeling much better soon. I know you will.

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My dear Kay - I can say the same thing about Missy and I still find myself saying, "I miss you so much!"  These beautiful creatures who were in our lives for so long, I believe will always be missed to a great degree by us. They were a part of us and still are - even though physically absent.  They were our chief and vigilant companions during our most lengthy and difficult times. 14 months later I continue to cherish her and remember those 9 years with her and am so fortunate to have had her and our ventures together.  I had thought that perhaps I was not "moving" on by thinking of her, the daily reminders and at one point recently thought that perhaps it was time to put her pictures away.  There is no "moving on" or whatever progressing we think needs to be accomplished from the reminders of their lives with us. 

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12 hours ago, +Jeffrey+ said:

I know, Kay. I cried my eyes out for several months straight, every single day, after losing Lady G. I still shed tears for her often, but not every day like before. It still hurts bad, though. And I still go out back and visit her grave daily and nightly, to say a few words to her. Even kiss my hands and pat her grave with them. My neighbors probably think I am nuts, and maybe I am, but they all knew she meant the world to me. I will continue to show her love, even in death. It's a tough thing to go through. There is no script to follow, we just have to do what comes to heart to get through it, I guess.

They say our beloved pets wouldn't want us to cry and be sad forever, but, God, it's hard not to! 

Bless you Kay. I truly hope you can get to feeling much better soon. I know you will.

Thank you for that...it lets me know I am perhaps normal after all.  My neighbors do think I am a little over the top with my grieving "a dog", but they just don't understand the bond we had.  He wasn't a dog tied up in the back yard with a scoop of food thrown at him once a day like my neighbor's dogs, he was my LIFE!

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20 minutes ago, TAM1 said:

My dear Kay - I can say the same thing about Missy and I still find myself saying, "I miss you so much!"  These beautiful creatures who were in our lives for so long, I believe will always be missed to a great degree by us. They were a part of us and still are - even though physically absent.  They were our chief and vigilant companions during our most lengthy and difficult times. 14 months later I continue to cherish her and remember those 9 years with her and am so fortunate to have had her and our ventures together.  I had thought that perhaps I was not "moving" on by thinking of her, the daily reminders and at one point recently thought that perhaps it was time to put her pictures away.  There is no "moving on" or whatever progressing we think needs to be accomplished from the reminders of their lives with us. 

You are so right...there IS no "moving on" from them, that is for sure.  Forever they are indelibly etched into our hearts. It's hard for me to pass the places in the house that he liked to lay in.  It's hard for me to eat my "last bite" of food because I always saved it for him.  It's hard going on my walks without him, even though a neighbor has been lending me their dog to walk and that helps a lot but it's not my wild-eyed boy.  Everywhere is a reminder of him!  It's hard to believe his body inhabits the cold earth now...I know his spirit is not there, but neither can I accept that he's ceased to exist, he HAS to be in heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, playing with other dogs, chewing on bones, chasing after a ball, happily enjoying life even as he waits for me to join him.  To me heaven/eternity would be to be with him, my sweet boy, taking care of him like I always did.  The most precious gift in the world was when he'd look me in the eyes, thoughtfully, and give me a deliberate kiss.  I can't imagine ever loving ANYONE like I do him!

I don't know how I'll do the Christmas season without him, put up a tree...he loved looking at the lights, it was a ritual he enjoyed even though it meant moving his recliner away from the window for a month to put the tree up, he gladly made the sacrifice.  I just don't know how to do this without him.  Before him I had my husband and losing him 14+ years ago was a shock and this feels just like that did, the two in my life that have made my world...as my son said though, I had Arlie even longer than I had my husband, and having retired with Arlie, we had more time together, it's no wonder this is so hard.  Thank you for being here for me.

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And never mind what people think, especially your neighbors.  Sometimes I believe neighbors are best ignored unless they can add something positive.  Otherwise, they are boneheads!  You cared for Arlie as I did Missy, and Molly before - they were family members, like children. 

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I do have some neighbors who get it and are supportive, it's the ones that say stupid things that grind the wrong way...chalk it up to ignorance, I guess!  I always use it as an opportunity to educate them...maybe it's lost on them but I can't help myself from trying!

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KayC, you know that as long as 7+ weeks is... it is also so short. It's still very recent so of course you are where you are. You are progressing and yet it's a slooooow process.

I found, every milestone without our C cat was painful. Every holiday... and all the rituals associated with that day that we did for/with our cat. I'm sorry your birthday was sad. :(

My heart has been very heavy the last few weeks missing our C cat. And we've had a our new sweet girl kitty now almost 2 years. But still the pain and his sudden loss still haunts me. Sorry to say it, don't want to be depressing, it's just true. 

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Eight weeks today.  Last night still crying at his grave.  My beautiful boy, I cannot get past this.

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I don't have a dog now that Arlie is gone, I've looked but none have struck me as the right one.  I have been walking my neighbor's dog, Joe, who is 11 1/2.  Joe is having arthritis issues and limping pronounced, so I gave them Arlie's hemp oil and was amazed yesterday at what a difference just one dose had made for him!  I had planned on returning the three unopened bottles I have but now I'm instead going to donate it for Joe.  I also donated Arlie's Comfortis to Joe and his brother & sister.  

I visit Arlie's grave and cannot help but cry, I miss him so much, in two more days it will be two months and the pain is still just as great.  It takes what it takes.  I have never had a loss of an animal hit me so great, but he was special and so was our bond.  It's as painful as losing my husband was and I thought nothing could hit me that hard.  He has been all to me these past 10 1/2 years and as my son pointed out, I got to have Arlie longer than I did George.  Not only that, but I retired with Arlie so spent more time with him, no longer having to go to work.  I guess it's no wonder it's hitting me so hard.  I love him so much and miss his sweet face.  I spent so much time just looking at him, his beautiful smile, he was beautiful and happy, always such a joy to be around.

8 1/2 weeks...in just two days it'll be two months.  Hard to believe, it feels like yesterday.

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Aww, Kay. I am so sorry. Just keep writing about him. It will help. I'm still having certain memories of Lady G. come back to me and I am writing everything I can remember down. I have a Google doc full of memories, and information about her. I don't want to forget anything about her, so I have been writing things down. I still have that lady I want to talk to that owned her before me, and once I have everything I can think of, I will start piecing everything together. This will take some time, no doubt. But I will enjoy doing it.

Hang in there. 

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I'm glad you're writing down memories of her, it helps.  Mine are not in chronological order but rather when I think of them.  I'm sure there is lots more I haven't thought of yet, still writing...

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I am going to look at a dog Saturday, taking a friend with me.  He meets the criteria except I've heard Terriers bark a lot, I hope not incessantly, Arlie was so quiet, he had me spoiled.  But it's hard to find a quiet dog.  This is a tough decision...

Still grieving Arlie, I don't think there IS a getting over him...and I imagine the new one will trigger missing Arlie a lot...but hopefully help with the void a bit too.  Am wondering what his backstory is, he's in foster care with a rescue.

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Hi Kay - just saw this post in my Spam folder and can't figure out why - not important. The important thing is you. And I'm thinking of you and this potential adoption and I know you are not certain. As Arlie was quiet, Missy was the same - they had quiet lives and souls and they only woofed if there was good reason. 

You are asking the right questions and it's ok to check this source - there is no commitment nor is there a rush. Just the idea that you are even anticipating this is healthy. But, take your time, if you are not completely certain, then don't.  When you do go on Saturday, many hearts, thoughts and spirits go with you - certainly mine.

 

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My Arlie,

I love you and miss you so much.  It's so hard to get used to living without you.  I clean off your grave and know your sweet body lays below it, it seems so unreal.  I wish to kiss your sweet face again, to hold you, to watch your ever present smile.  There is no dog like you, you were wonderful to live with, a wonderful companion.  You brought joy in my life, the greetings you gave me when I'd come home!  I loved your excited squeal.  You are one in a trillion, that is for sure.  The perfect roommate.  

I live for the day I can be with you again. I hope the naysayers are wrong...I just can't help but feel God is too smart to waste such a precious spirit, you are His greatest gift to me.  I love dogs, but you are tops.

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I am heartsick.  I made the 100 mile round trip to get Jackson, a Terrier/Schnauzer.  He is everything on my list, he's 20+ lbs, adorable, he can smile, he's playful and likes to walk.  But he's bitten me four times and bared his teeth at me...and I've only had him 2 1/2 hours.  I cannot take care of a dog that bites me for everything, I can't have him around my grandkids and am scared to leave my cat alone with him.  They didn't warn me that he is vicious.  One of the bites is all the way to the bone and there's no doctor nearby.  I cleaned and dressed it, at least he has his shots.  Now I have to figure out how to get him back to them this week, sooner better than later.

It's a horrible feeling, I've never returned an animal, but then none of my dogs has bitten for any reason.  I'm choosing to think of this as a "visit" rather than an adoption, it helps because I know I'm going to have to let him go.  He met all my criteria...if it weren't for the biting.  I think it may be a while before I think of doing this again

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I am so sorry Kay - most probably he does have a history of biting and they did know. Adorable, but not adoptable.  Please notify the adoption agency or whatever they are of his behavior and for them to come pick him up. The bite to the bone is of concern - keep it clean and dressed.  You made this good effort but in just a few short hours this has added something you do not need in your life.  Wish I lived close by to help with this. You have not failed either.

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Thank you, TAM.  This has been a hard experience, I'm not anxious to try this again any time soon!  Last night I hardly slept, he's very needy.  He jumped on my cat while she was sleeping and she came unglued!  Then he jumped on me and shook for hours.  He's a big baby...they listed him as three but the guy said he thought more like five...I think more like two.  He is definitely not five.  They usually go by teeth and behavior...his behavior tells me he's a baby, his teeth are very white.

The foster dad was here when he first bit, in fact he kind of caused the situation.  He left, I don't have his address and there is no "facility" to return him to, they operate out of their homes and adopt out of "events" at stores.  I'm still waiting for a call back.  I will not be dealing with this company again.  Most of their pets are seniors and special needs.  I feel rather betrayed.  He woke me constantly throughout the night and I had a hard time getting him to go outside and pee this morning.  Obviously I can't pick him up.

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