Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Recent loss of Mom and Dad


DPZ

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I am experiencing unbelievable grief.  My Mom had Parkinson's and had a couple of strokes in addition.  Over the last 6 years I spent a considerable amount of time with her as a caregiver and the bond between us, which was already strong, became incredibly stronger.  I looked forward to getting out of work every day so that I could go see her.  Last October, Mom fell and broke her hip. She was rushed to the hospital by ambulance.  The next day she was transferred to another hospital where they performed surgery to replace the broken hip.  She was never the same after the surgery.  Dementia set in immediately, she was so confused and could no longer tolerate food.  For 5 months we bought and prepared every type of food imaginable to try to tempt her appetite.  I kept praying that things would turn around and that she would start recovering.  She was released from rehabilitation because they said that she would not improve and that her current condition was her new baseline.  We were optimistic that once she got home she would start eating again and that in- home PT could help her regain some quality of life.  The inability to eat never went away.  She started wasting away and hospice was called in.  On February 21, 2019 we watched my amazing Mom take her last breath at the age of 77.  The image and sound of her last moments haunt me.  I had "made things better" for 6 years and there was nothing I could do to help her in her final moments, my sister and I remained with her and prayed with her as she drifted away.  I am glad she is no longer suffering but I just miss her so much.  I think about her every minute of every day.  The only thing I can do is stay very occupied or the grief becomes unbearable.  Right around the time that my Mom passed, my Dad was feeling ill and was diagnosed with cancer and congestive heart failure.  Eventually, hospice was set up in his home and he passed on May 11, 2019.  My parents were no longer married and had been divorced since I was young.  It seems ironic that he passed away so soon after she did.  My siblings and I are coping as best we can.  We are grateful that we have each other as well as my stepdad who is struggling with the loss of my Mom as well.  He loved her very much and gave her a really good life.  I am trying to be present to help him through this.  Everyone says that eventually it will get easier and I realize that it is very early for things to start feeling better.  I am looking for any guidance on how to cope with the loss of both parents in such a short amount of time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Dear Dorry,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. It is raw and difficult time coping with losing both parents in such a short time. Please know you are not alone. You are a very loving and devoted daughter. I found the first year of grief the most unbearable. It was moment by moment. I'm glad you have your siblings to lean on but also know there are many supports in the community and through church. I don't know you feel about grief counselling or joining a support group.

I also found these websites helpful.

Aging Care

Grief Healing Blog

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Know that you can express yourself here. And we are all here to listen and support each other. Thinking of you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you so much for the list of websites.  Very helpful!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

hi Dorry, condolences to you. I know it isnt easy but do feel free to post if you need advice or just to rant. We are here for you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.