My mam died a month after my first babies were born

[Carolinagiaco]

I am so sorry for your losses and what you're all experiencing, and I'm sorry we all have to meet here, this way. I lost my mam almost 8 months ago due to stage 4 bowel cancer, a month after my (first) twin babies were born. She never got to meet them. She was diagnosed ten days after I found out I was pregnant. I'm a doctor, so I knew her chances of survival were less than 10%, but I held on to hope blindly anyway.

I'm an only child, all of my grandparents are gone, and my father is estranged. There are days when I feel I won't be able to tolerate the sadness and the sheer devastation and exhaustion of it all. Other random, blissful days are bearable. I hope it gets easier with time.

[tessa]

Hi Carolinagico,
I'm sorry for your loss. It does get better with time. 8 months is still raw. As time goes by, other things move in to partially fill the hole they left behind. It's gets better.
But I don't think we will ever stop missing them.
Congratulations on your babies

[reader]

Dear Carolina,

I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is a long journey and its hard to cope with losing a beloved parent. There is so much to think about and grieve. I too grieve that my father passed away two months after my niece was born. I was devastated he was not here to see her grow up a little. He waited a long time to become a grandparent. I found the first year of grief the hardest. Time does lessen the intensity but three years later there still days I struggle with the loss. 

Please know you are not alone in your feelings. We are all with you. I also found these websites to be helpful.

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Share

Grief Recovery Method