My cat just passed yesterday kind of unexpectedly and I can’t handle the pain

[Jada]

I just lost my cat yesterday due to her becoming hypertensive. Around 9 that night I noticed something wasn’t right with her breathing and it went down hill from there. What I don’t understand is on Monday I brought her to the vet. They put her on amoxicillin for a small infection. Then they said her kidneys don’t look great but not alarming  I brought her home. Next morning she still was acting not herself so I brought her in that Tuesday too see another vet. That vet gave her an iv of fluids and sent me home and said re do this on Thursday. So I brought her home. She seemed better a little bit. She ate her food drank her water and finally had a bowl movement. So Thursday comes around and I give her the iv fluid myself. She seemed real lethargic. Friday all day she slept. I was reading on google they can act like that. But Friday night around 9 pm she started taking a turn for the worse. Her breathing was bad and her pupils were dilated like I have never seen before. I could hear noses going on in her belly. It was literally the worst night of my life. I tried to make her as comfortable as can be with a heating blanket. She went under my side table 2 and I knew she was dying. She lost her site shortly after. She passed around 11 am. I can’t express the pain I feel. She was the runt she never weighed more then 6 pounds. She was a beautiful little thing. I just regret should I have called the emergency vet on call and tried to have them save her. But she took a turn real fast and I tried letting her go peacefully. She was 14 with asthma a thyroid issue and bad kidneys and hypertensive. The guilt I’m feeling is beyond measure. I can’t handle this pain. She was my heart beat. I depended on her for my happiness. 

[KaylaMarie326]

I'm so sorry for your loss Jada. I lost my cat who was my baby very unexpectedly as well the other night and the pain has been unbearable. I too keep analyzing everything I did and wondering if I could have saved him if I did things differently. It sounds like you did everything you could for your cat. I think she knows that and would not want you to feel any guilt. I wanted you to know that you're not alone and I'm thinking of you.

[Jada]

I’m sorry for your loss as well. I didn’t realize a pain like this could exist and hard for your mind not to race on what could have it should have. Thank you for reaching out and your not alone. Our babies are in heaven together so happy. I’m with you. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss.  All of the what-ifs we go through are part of grief, like we're trying to find a different outcome.  But all of the analyzing and and second guessing ourselves doesn't change their condition, the hard truth is sometimes it's just their time to go, young or old.  

I hope these articles are helpful to you as they have been to me.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
https://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

 

[Jada]

Your right we do have to accept it. I am just having a very hard time. I haven’t experienced a pain this intense ever in my life. I honestly feel like I can’t breath. I will check out the articles thank you so much. 

[AJWCat]

Jada, I know the intense pain you are in - I have been there. I lost my cat suddenly kind of like you, he got violently sick and finally we put him to sleep. The whole thing was very sudden and incredibly heartbreaking. It's going to take some time, please be patient with this process. There are no fast and easy solutions, only dealing with the loss one hour at a time.