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KaylaMarie326

My cat died so young. How do I come to terms with this?

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KaylaMarie326

Yesterday I had to put my cat, Oliver, down just one month before his third birthday. I'm feeling such overwhelming grief and disbelief that it is hard to process. The worst part is that he died so young. I don't know how to come to terms with it or make sense of it.

I adopted him when he was 3 months old with his sister and litter mate, Lily. He was the happiest, sweetest, most playful little cat, however, he started having some health issues at a young again. When he was a year old he developed urinary crystals which is very unusual in a young cat and they recurred again a year later and he got put on a special diet long term to prevent them. Other than that though he seemed healthy and was always very playful and active. He always seemed like a kitten at heart.

Then a couple of weeks ago he suddenly started eating less than usual and seemed less active than usual. I debated all week whether or not he needed a visit to the vet because he was still eating a decent amount so I wasn't sure it was too concerning. By the end of the week though he started eating less and less and seemed more lethargic. I finally took him into the vet and they ran blood work and I got the most painful news - that he had severe anemia and would need to be hospitalized and given a blood transfusion.

The vet determined that his body was breaking down his own blood cells but they couldn't identify a cause as he tested negative for every disease they checked including FIV and nothing came up on xrays or ultrasounds. He also had retinal hemorrhaging and had developed signs that there was something going on with his nervous system. He was hospitalized in intensive care and given a blood transfusion. At first he wasn't responding to treatment but then started to do better and was able to be discharged.

When I brought him home he seemed to be doing ok the first day but seemed weak and wasn't the same cat. Still I hoped he would continue to improve on the medications he was prescribed. The next day though he seemed weaker and barely ate. I brought him back to the animal hospital and they told me his red blood count had dropped again and he would need to be rehospitalized and have another blood transfusion. Unfortunately he didn't respond to treatment this time and just got weaker and weaker. The vet said at that point the best thing would be to put him down because he was suffering and there was really nothing more that could be done to help him. They still were not sure what was causing him to be so sick but they believe he had some kind of genetic disorder that was causing his immune system to attack his body.

I made the decision to put him down that afternoon. When I saw him he was so weak that he didn't even seem to recognize me. He died in my arms within seconds after the vet administered the medication.

Now I just feel completely devastated. It happened so sudden. I was expecting to have so many more years with my cat. I keep asking myself why this had to happen. I keep feeling like I failed him in some way because he died so young even though I did everything I could until there was nothing more that could be done. I also feel guilt for not bringing him to the vet sooner when he started eating less and wonder if that would have changed the outcome although the vet said he probably would have declined the way he did no matter what.

I have never lost a loved one before and the pain is so unbearable. I have a 12 year old dog and I expected that she would be the first one to pass, not my 2 year old cat.

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Dear KaylaMarie,

I am very sorry for your loss. I know its very hard to lose a beloved pet. It is a terrible shock and it takes time to mourn our loss.

Thinking of you.

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Jack Russell

What a beautiful cat and this is devasting news.  I feel your pain, loosing a precious member of the family is just heartbreaking. This will take time to recover from unfortunately and the fact he was so young makes us analyse over and over if we could of done something differently.  You did all you could for your sweet cat and I'm sure he knows that.  You never know what is round the corner in life and it can be so cruel.  You gave him love and did your best.  Try not to beat yourself up, this is part of the grief process.  I kept telling myself I could of done things differently when I lost my beautiful Kelly.  Be kind to yourself you did all you could.  Thinking of you.

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KayC

I am so sorry.  I wish I knew something that would make you feel better but alas at the end of the day you're still missing your cat.  That she was only two just seems so unfair.  If it helps any, she doesn't know any different, it was like going to sleep for her.  From everything I've gathered, crossing over to the other side is pleasant and they aren't in any pain any longer.  The intensity of pain we go through in grief lessens eventually as we begin to adjust to the changes it means for our lives, but it takes time for it to sink in, the beginning is the hardest.  Try to be very patient and understanding of yourself, early grief is like trauma.

Your vet is right, how soon you caught it wouldn't change the outcome in this case, I'm afraid.  You did everything you could and were with her at the end.  I'm sorry, your sweet beautiful kitten.  Sending you hopes for comfort and peace.

Her sister may be grieving as well...I want to give you this article and hope it is of help to you.  https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2018/06/pet-loss-supporting-your-grieving-pet.html

I like to imagine it to be something like this:

 

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AJWCat

I am SO SO sorry to read this. It is not fair to lose your sweet kitty so young. My newest one is just 3 now and I could not imagine dealing with another loss. There are no easy answers as to why this happened (why do kids get cancer right?) AND you did all you could. There are just no good explanations. I wish I could somehow take away your pain I know how it is. All you can do is give yourself time and although gone way too soon... try to remember you gave him a good life with you and you were there at the end. :(   

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