A strange dream

[chincube]

This morning I had the strangest dream...

I dreamed that he called me and I answered, shockingly that call was actually from him (we were in long distance relationship, and these days his best friend has been using his phone to call me). We talked on the phone, and immediately I asked him haven't you died? He didn't answer me directly but said he's here now. I was so shocked and rejoiced and disbelieved, that I asked him where has he been why his best friend told me he's dead and I will never see him again, he said his best friend is a moron and that he's here now.

Then I said, but there was a funeral and all his siblings were there and he said yes and then silence. I said but don't people there got scared seeing him now, and he said he's away they can't see him now. I said, don't your body has worms by now? He just laughed and said, always worms. (my phobia)

I was so happy and I said so I can stop going to therapy now, and tell everyone that he didn't die, they've really made a mistake! He didn't answer, and then I woke up.

[Scott A]

How did you feel when you woke up?  I think I'd be happy, like we had a chance to talk a bit and everything is ok.  I've had a couple dreams about my wife, but it's more in the context of us doing stuff like we used to do, for example I had a dream we were on a trip together.  It was nice.

[chincube]

1 hour ago, Scott A said:

How did you feel when you woke up?  I think I'd be happy, like we had a chance to talk a bit and everything is ok.  I've had a couple dreams about my wife, but it's more in the context of us doing stuff like we used to do, for example I had a dream we were on a trip together.  It was nice.

I was very happy in the dream because I thought they really did make a mistake that he's dead, I was so happy that he's actually still alive. But when I woke up and then realized that he's still dead, I was very devastated again. Right now, I'm ok, maybe it was his way of telling me that he's still here with me. In fact I need it very much to believe that.

It's nice that you dream of you wife couple of times. I used to dream of him almost everyday before he died, but since he died I don't dream of him often anymore. I had only few of them, some are just ordinary chaotic movie like dreams. Some are so short and realistic, I feel like it's him coming to comfort me. However I just wish he would come more often and we can just spend time together in dreams, if not in real life.

[tlc]

I think that he was letting you know that he is still there and with you in spirit. I thik it was a woderful sign and I hope that it has helped you.

I have had many signs from my husband in the past 13 months and it really has helped me. Because I believe that he is with me, I talk to him all the time. Just as well that I live alone eh??

TLC

[Scott A]

2 hours ago, chincube said:

But when I woke up and then realized that he's still dead, I was very devastated again.

I've had something this happen a couple times during the evening.  I'll be doing something routine like getting ready to watch a favorite tv show my wife and I enjoyed together, my mind is busy and for the briefest moment I forget she is gone, then the reality hits and I emotionally sink.  I hate this life. 

I agree with TLC above...I think he was letting you know he's still there and he's ok.

[chincube]

@tlc Were the signs you got mainly dreams or some other stuffs in real life like butterflies, feathers, coins etc? 2 months ago I would have scoff at the idea of looking for signs from a person who died, but now if I get a dream with him (only sign I got) I'd have few "okay" days so it helps. But the few ones I had, none of them were such a lengthy conversation with him like the one I just had, and I still remember it word to word. Only that I worry these dreams would come to end one day.

I do talk to him too, very often before I go to bed after I light a candle for him. But I wish the conversation is not that one-sided.

@Scott A Totally. Sometimes when my phone rings and I saw his number calling, I felt happy for 2 seconds that it's the time of the day that we talk - then I realized he's not here anymore and that's merely his best friend checking in on me. That sucks.

[SSC]

I haven’t had much in the way of dreams of my husband but I have had signs.  

I agree with tlc, he is letting you know he is with you in spirit.  It seems in the beginning, it happens more frequently and as time goes on either we get caught back up in everyday life and don’t see the signs or they feel we don’t need them as much.  I am greedy I guess and wish for them on a continuous basis.  However, it is not to be.

For me, I keep him close by talking to him just like tlc.  I have his things around me in the house and I talk about him with my friends and family.

as far as I’m concerned, my husband Steve will never be forgotten!

[tlc]

I too, like SSC, have Terry's things around. His clothes are still in the robe, his photos around the house. They will always remain as long as I do. I talk to him, i write in a journal to him every evening and discuss the day with him with a glass of wine in the evening just as we always did together.

I too always talk about him to friends and family all the time but I find that it sort of falls on deaf ears. Goes nowhere. Just me talking about him and they dont respond. Is it me or what??

The longer i live, the less i understand.

[KayC]

I didn't have a dream about George for about a year.  When I finally did, I remember demanding, "Where have you been all this time!"  When I woke up I was mad at myself for my response.  Weird how these things affect us, but I think in real life if he suddenly showed up, it'd be reasonable to want to know where they were...but I also think my instinctual response would be to run into his arms!

1 hour ago, tlc said:

I too always talk about him to friends and family all the time but I find that it sort of falls on deaf ears. Goes nowhere. Just me talking about him and they dont respond. Is it me or what??

It's that they don't know what to say, how to respond, they'd like to be able to "fix" this situation, but they can't, they feel uncomfortable then as it's out of their control.  But I ask myself, what the hell do they think WE feel!  Everything is out of our control and we're the ones having to LIVE it!  No, it's not you, society feels awkward about death.  Like it's contagious.

[Billie Rae]

Some nights right at the point of sleep/wake I feel Charlie in the bed but when I roll to put my cold cold feet on him(as always)the bed is empty.
Other times in the hour before bed I forget,he always went to bed an hour before me,I turn on the light and feel total horror that the bed is empty.
These things can cause me either great comfort or a complete meltdown.
I've always been one to accept death,but this great wrench away can't be accepted by my soul.
Where there was two now is a half and a memory.

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[chincube]

I have stopped talking about him to people because precisely people doesn't respond. Maybe just occasionally to his best friend. 

I wish I can have his things around me too, that'd have to wait till I go to his place in July, I'll get some of his stuff. 

This morning I dreamed of him again and I said so you're here again, as you're alive I don't have to give away the clothes I sewed for you and the blanket I crocheted you. He answered, you better do that, I would not need them anymore now. I asked if I will see him at his place in July, he said I won't be walking around for sure. I said, so you really are dead only that we can meet like this now? He smiled at said nothing. 

Two days in a row! 

[Jd2019]

My first dream of my wife was her giving me a indirect conformation that she had interceded for me and her children. I do not know how I dreamed of this as it was not in my thought process and there was something else to confirm that this was not a random dream.  My wife was known for her strong faith. Crazy as it might sound to some, my wife had only three interactions with Holy Spirit. First was we would receive land that we did not work for.- a developer who own land beside our land was in bad health and his daughter came knocking at our door and she wanted to give the land to us. Second one was our family cat died and my wife was mourning over him and she heard a audible voice saying I will give you a child. Now early in her twenties doctors told her she could not get pregnant. And she got pregnant at 40 and our daughters name is Faith. Her third one was for me. And this dream I had of her was the conformation of this. Sorry I do not want to reveal it, but it’s a good thing.

[chincube]

@Jd2019 That sounds very amazing, and it's nice to know that your wife is still watching out for you. It's very sweet.

I was still a but skeptical, but I became more sure this morning that it was maybe him telling me he's still with me, after the second dream. As if that's not enough, I turned music on my phone on my way to work - songs I transferred from his phone last time I was there, all of a sudden (I'm 300% sure there was no album cover art on the player yesterday evening) the album cover art of these songs turn into a joke photo taken last time I was with me. I must laughed right that second because it was a really funny photo that means something to be him and me. My phone is also locked by fingerprint so no one could have messed with it. 

So I think he's really telling me not to forget to laugh a little by playing with my phone. Or maybe he knew that I had a bad week that I need a little comfort and joke. 

[tlc]

Chincube, one of the signs has been feathers but I am not totally convinced about that in my case. The signs that I have had have been electrical. Terry was an electrician.  Computer glitches at appropriate times and things like that. 

I have also woken up with a song in my head in the middle of the night. Not a song that I had heard recently but the words were a clear message to me. This has happened three or four times. I just know that he is here/there. That's all that matters to me. 

 

[KayC]

@Jd2019  Wow, that's amazing!  

It's neat that they can give us signs to comfort us, encourage us, to let us know they are there.

[SSC]

@tlc having a song pop into my head that I haven’t thought about in years happens to me every so often too.  And the lyrics always have meaning to us as a couple.  You having similar situations makes me believe its a sign even more!

[chincube]

5 hours ago, tlc said:

Chincube, one of the signs has been feathers but I am not totally convinced about that in my case. The signs that I have had have been electrical. Terry was an electrician.  Computer glitches at appropriate times and things like that. 

I have also woken up with a song in my head in the middle of the night. Not a song that I had heard recently but the words were a clear message to me. This has happened three or four times. I just know that he is here/there. That's all that matters to me. 

 

That's very sweet, and it makes sense to since Terry was an electrician.

I didn't receive real life "gift" like feathers or coins, but then we didn't do gift giving when he was still alive. We are both musicians though, 2 weeks after he died I dreamed of a song I don't know but knew that I had a video I had taken on him playing in a show 2 years ago. The next morning I woke up and dug that video out and saw that he was smiling at me right at the camera. It was really sweet.

 

It's so nice to see that so many people experience this also! I thought I'm going crazy from missing him too much!

[foreverhis]

On 5/16/2019 at 5:10 AM, tlc said:

I too always talk about him to friends and family all the time but I find that it sort of falls on deaf ears. Goes nowhere. Just me talking about him and they dont respond. Is it me or what??

It's them, not you.  So often the people around us can't deal with or are uncomfortable around our grief.  Plus, acknowledging the death of someone else means admitting we're all mortal and that we'll all face deep loss.  A few people we knew together basically act as if my husband never existed at all!

But I am luckier than many because our small circle of friends and family does listen when I need to or am able to talk about my love.  The ones who've known us for decades have uplifting, funny, silly, or sweet stories of their own and so many of them are shared memories.  They all pretty much follow my lead of what I'm up to at any given time.

Truly, it is not you.  The fault lies with them.

[KayC]

It IS them, not you!  I am lucky that I can talk to my sisters or kids about George, or the few that are left that knew him.  Our friends disappeared when he died, but there was a whole church full of people that knew him...out of all of those people, only a few are still around, most of them having died or moved by now.

But always, always, he is keen in my memory and in my heart.  I pray I never get dementia.  But my mom had it, stage IV, and she would look at my dad's picture up on the wall and cry.  Her caregivers removed it.  I didn't think they should but I got out-ruled.

[JES]

I don't dream of Kevin either, maybe 3 dreams in 8 months and one of those was a " fighting, nasty words dream". I dream all the time about others in my long ago past.  But I feel him always with me, and I talk to him all the time.  Most friends and family are happy to talk about him so no problem there but when Im out shopping, etc. I don't bring it up unless they do. I actually had a former co- worker ask me if I was seeing anyone else....I informed her I have no interest in finding someone else. What I don't get is people thinking or wanting us to find someone else.  I know my family and close friends would even say.......its too soon.  But others?   Thinking of all. Jeanne

[foreverhis]

1 hour ago, JES said:

one of those was a " fighting, nasty words dream"

Of the three dreams of my husband that I've had in the past 10 months (at least the ones I remember), two were horrible nightmares.  The first ended with him telling me that he had loved me, but doesn't anymore.  The second involved him being intimate with another woman and him telling me that he always had been, even though I know 100% that it's not true.  The third wasn't a nightmare, but did involve us searching for something.

I've come to believe that these stem from my own feelings of guilt, fear, confusion, and insecurity.

[chincube]

@JES @foreverhis

It must be hard and confusing to have those dreams... To miss them so much love them so much, and have such dreams... 

After my boyfriend died I started waiting for him to come to me in dream straight away. In his culture they say the first week after a person dies, they always would come to their loved ones' sleep to see them.

I read that very often when in shock people don't dream about the deceased loved ones till months later. But in fact he did come on the 4th day, we were just sitting alone in his friend's house with no light but only a candle and I felt that he was very scared. His son dreamed of him too, so did his best friend.

After that one it was very hard to dream of him. So I don't know, maybe our grief blocks our mind from dreaming of them, thinking that'd traumatise us further. However I wish I can spend time with him everyday in sleep, because it's all I can have now and I cherish it so very much each time. 

[Heart&Soul]

I was taking a nap on a Saturday afternoon (not something I usually do) when I literally heard my husband say my name and "wake up".  I jumped out of bed literally because I heard his voice - not that I dreamt his voice but I heard it.

 

On 5/16/2019 at 10:44 PM, chincube said:

I was still a but skeptical, but I became more sure this morning that it was maybe him telling me he's still with me, after the second dream. As if that's not enough, I turned music on my phone on my way to work - songs I transferred from his phone last time I was there, all of a sudden (I'm 300% sure there was no album cover art on the player yesterday evening) the album cover art of these songs turn into a joke photo taken last time I was with me. I must laughed right that second because it was a really funny photo that means something to be him and me. My phone is also locked by fingerprint so no one could have messed with it. 

@chincube This was definitely him sending you a message from the other side.  Someone told me that for them to use technology like the phone to send you messages takes so much spiritual energy.  You should embrace this special message he sent you and know you were truly loved and still loved.

[KayC]

It sounds like a sign/msg to me too!  Not unlike the time when I was frantic because the social security office told me I'd only get $200/mo to live on and I had to wait over a three day weekend to talk to someone else...I felt his hand on my back/shoulder.  It was no mistaking it, it felt physical, not imaginary, I'd know his touch anywhere.  It calmed me through the weekend, which was his intent...until I got to talk to a different rep who told me the correct amount.  They have a way of getting through to us when we most need it!

[jet]

He is reaching out to you in your dream. He could see you are struggling. Love continues on the other plane. He will always be there for you :-)

[foreverhis]

Wednesday was one of our anniversaries, the one where we had a full traditional-ish ceremony with minister and our loved ones around us.  (The other was just us.  I went through that one last November.)  It was a difficult and painful day.

On the coast here we have June gloom.  It's day after day after day of marine layer socked in so that it's cold (highs in the 50s), windy, and damp--so damp it's practically rain.  We all go a bit crazy without occasional breaks, which we have not had this year.  The few clear days we've had since April have been super windy and colder than a witch's...you know.

So Tuesday night I was talking to my husband.  I said, "Honey, could you please order up a nice day for tomorrow?  I know it's supposed to be June gloom again, but I'm depressed enough already."

I woke up Wednesday to a glorious sunny day.  A friend asked if I was up to going for a walk after lunch.  There's a nature preserve within walking distance, so we went there.  We walked and sat on a bench talking about souls and faith and spirituality.  It was warm and perfect with clear views we haven't seen in weeks.  I told my friend what I had asked my love and she said, "Well, of course he heard you and tried to make the day a little more bearable for you."  I'm sure she was right.

[Billie Rae]

@Foreverhis That makes me happy,and I know it was his message to you because the whole rest of the West coast was still in juneuary I watch the coast fisherman's weather radar daily so that was a clear sign.
Love you

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

I'm so glad you got your beautiful day and got to enjoy it with a friend!  Yesterday was beautiful and it looks like the rest of the week will be too...the previous days were tremendous thunder and lightening and rain storms!

Any little encouragements we can get like this really help!