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Xiuming Xu

Loss of job out of any reason

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Xiuming Xu

I was trying my best to transfer within the company. My reason was my husband is going to transfer as well.

I want to transfer into a different team. First I talked with my boss that I am going to transfer the nd search for any chance. Then I searched on the internet that there is another team currently hiring. So I approached the other team and talked about the possiblilities. They said there is a position for me, so I actively went to the place and talked about the chance and possible details. Then the other team and I bring it up to the bosses level. However, my boss was mad and he just jumped in to say I did it wrong, the other team's boss did not know about it. Then I came across to approach the other boss actively and finally got an go when I had another round of interview. I thought it was done done, as I am honest during the process.

Then the drama came, the other's team 's boss left. I contacted with my future direct manager, not the boss.  They said the transfer will continue. I was super easy to trust people and follow the flow. I quitedd the job a bit early as I am super young and did not want to stay with my previous team. I had a great wedding and I prepare to go to the other team after the wedding. There were several rounds of visa application. When the final visa was done, they said my future team were totally laid off.  

I am now thinking I am a fool, I lost the job without even having any notice from US team. I cannot go back the previous team as my previous boss hated me. He think I should not approach the other team actively. Thanks, I am a stealth. I deserved to be killed and should just go to the interview and apply another job whereever it should be.

I know I am not capable,. I want too much and I can only rely on my husband to solve it. I had a high-level education, but I think now I cannot use my brain any more. I am now already 5 months unemployment. AND I was thinking that I could have a job in US. Thanks, such a sudden and nobody told me about it.


How miserable it is, how could you just let it happen to a 20es girl.What can I do?I loved my previous work, but only cannot coordinate with the team members. Now I lost the job, I lost the thing that I always want to do. I don't know what I can do, I am not healthy in terms of mental health. I sometimes feel cold and thrill, I want to beg my previous boss to come back the team that I don't like before. I felt it is all my fault to do this. and I cannot find a job in the future. I felt I am a burden to my husband and his family. But I don't want to leave the world as I still have my family. They spent so much on me and think even I don't have a job, it is still okay.

But how, it is not really the case, there was so many uncerntainy, I loved my previous company, and loved my previous job, and I believed I can never find another job like this anymore. In my early career, I already lost he chance to go for my dream way. I lost so much and I can shortly forgot it. However, it will always come back, I cannot go to USA to endure this great pressure. I think I will end up here or there several months later or maybe not because I don't know whether my husband can go in the next months. How could I endure the uncertainty and this great loss at the same time.

I begged my previous boss to go back to the team that I don;'t like, but I was refused. I am now like a child knowing that everrything will not come ture, why I should still keep on and waste the resources.

I think I am so selfish if I just ended up in 28 to my parents, they are far away from me. My husband will bring me back,  I am sure, but I really don't want to do it.

The pressure is so huge, even I am protected so well by my husband's family. I don't think I can get over it, what shall I do? I want to give up already. There is no way to go back, there is no way to be satisfy, there is always a burden for my husband. We married because of we want to go to USA together.

So when I think about other people's opinion, when I think about I lost the job that I really like, when I think I am capable to have anther job that like like my previous one, when I think I will be a burden to my husband. Everything is so bad. IOnly thing I cannot give up is my parents.


What shall I think, what shall I do?

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