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Scott A

Does Therapy Help?

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Scott A
On 5/26/2019 at 3:26 PM, Sunflower2 said:

Acupuncture also has worked well in helping me with the trauma, fear and anxiety.  An  acupuncturist  that is HIGHLY skilled in working on emotions.  

 I've shared what is helping my healing. It will be 2 years in September.  I started therapy immediately.  My therapist is not categorized as a grief therapist.  She's experienced on many levels. We simply need to be aware of our own needs and what we have access to and our willingness to access a variety of resources.   I did not do everything all at once. I keep myself surrounded by uplifting people.  I now call them my "soul clusters."   I'm becoming comfortable being alone.  That does not mean I do not dearly miss my partner. This does not mean I do not have those all too familiar deep dark despair hopeless moments.  My partner is with me. His energy. His love. 

Your loss is so raw.  So fresh.   You will feel lightness.  You will feel joy.  You will feel hope. Differently but you will feel that lightness again. Kindness and good energy will continue to come to you.  Be open to receive.

I send you comfort and love!

Thank you for the suggestions and kind words. My therapist also mentioned acupuncture...I may look into it. Two sessions in, it's ok. I've found some value in speaking with her.  If nothing else, its an outlet and I look forward to the sessions, so I guess that's a good thing.  

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JES

@Scott A  Im glad that therapy seems to be helping or at least giving you an outlet to talk or vent.  It seems to be such an important part of this grieving process...it helps us get through. I want to think that its harder being a guy and trying to find a guy friend who will listen. I had good support system, but I really didnt vent to my boys or male friends of my husbands much,  I think they may have felt uncomfortable so it was more them asking how I was doing or offering help if I needed it.  I don't think anyone can understand this grief journey( try as they might) unless theyve been thru it or trained to deal with it. @Sunflower2  I totally understand what you are saying about your partner always with you, missing him, feeling his energy and love.  Who else but those who have been there will really understand if we are still having those dark days at 2yrs., 5 yrs. or 15yrs?  That is why this forum is such a safe place with others that "get it", no matter how short or how long its been. Thankyou for giving hope to all.

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Sunflower2

@JES we always have hope.  We learn that those dark moments do pass only to return.  We do get through them.

We all in our time and in our way discover what supports us on this journey. It is learning how to balance our reaching out and to whom.  It is being aware of what we expect of the person we are reaching out to.  I ask what are my needs at that moment and is that person the person to reach out to.  Having respect for those that "do not get it" is important.  At least that is what I've experienced in bringing to me what I need at that moment. 

I have often mentioned to "be open to receive."  My "soul clusters" are women who HAVE NOT experienced the loss of their partner. Yes I am very blessed. They acknowledge my pain. I do not have to endlessly share my story with them. They do "GET IT."  That is why I believe be open to receive.  It is amazing the beautiful people that do come into our lives.  I've learned to call them my "Godwinks." 

Your partner is eternally with you. :) My thoughts are with you in strength as you begin a new day.

~Sunflower~

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KayC

For the last 3-4 years I've been in a ladies group that meets once a week and we potluck lunch, talk, pray, watch a video or do a craft or sometimes nothing particular...most of these ladies are widowed but not all of them.  We are able to open up and share with each other and show caring compassion to one another.  That connectedness has been very helpful.  Sometimes losing that interaction we had with our spouse feels such a loss and it really helps to have someone to connect with.

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