puzzled

[emm23]

I'm a little puzzled on what I should do. My mother recently died and half of my family is suggesting for me to get a dog however 3 of my brothers and their girlfriends are displeased by this. none  of them live at home only me I am 16 my family recommend it for company however I have learnt from my cousin that they were talking about me getting a dog negatively they are saying that my mum never had pets which she did she had a dog a cat which had several (accidental) litters and 2 rabbits they have started to get funny with me over the matter and I only want to do what is right by my mum but cannot ask her opinion. 

thank you for reading. please excuse my bad spelling and grammar 

[Nicole-my grief journey]

Emm23,

My most heartfelt condolences to you on the loss of your mother. People have suggested to me too that I get a dog for comfort and I didn’t know if I should as some family members had opinions and my mom had a fear of large dogs. Even though I would only get a small one if I was to have one, I’m still trying to decide as I need to make sure I have the time and money. People will always have opinions and only you can decide what is right for you. I feel sometimes when others have a significant other for company, they don’t realize the emotional toll on those of us who don’t. I try to gently express this and what I’m feeling so that they can see where I’m coming from. I think our mothers would want is do to whatever we need to for comfort. I obviously didn’t know your mom, but I think she would tell you yes if you think you can take care of the responsibilty. A lot of people said it has helped them in their grief process to have a pet. I also think that if you got one and others see that it helps you, that they would become supportive. They may even get attached to your pet and it can bring them joy. You can reassure them that you will continue to be respectful of the house and train the pet. I’m sorry that they aren’t being as supportive in it right now like you need them to be. It’s hard to now start having to make decisions without your go to person. I struggle in that too. Whatever you decide, all you need to know in your heart is that she would tell you it’s ok. I hope others who have gotten pets will share their experiences with you. I wish you the best. 

[reader]

Dear emm23,

I am very sorry for your loss. Losing your beloved mother is very hard. I know some people think having a cat or dog is comforting and will provide a distraction.

Please don't feel pressured to get a dog or cat yet. Take your time to mourn your mom. I think your brothers and girlfriends worry maybe taking on a puppy or kitten would be too much work and stress and do not want you to have to deal with the additional responsibilities.

You can always go to an animal rescue shelter and see how you feel about being around a dog or cat first.

Just know there is no right way or wrong way. Do what you feel is best for you in the moment.

Thinking of you.