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JES

Here again it is the weekend.  Seems to be my hardest time.  I don't like to go out as stores are packed, others spend time with their partners, phone calls are less as people are busy,  its cold out,  ground was bare, now covered with heavy wet snow, on and on.  I find it alittle easier than a month or two ago, mabbe Im starting to adapt to being alone.... I don't know.  I did walk to my daughters to bring her birthday gifts.....twice, forgot a gift..so that gave me something to do.  Most people live for the weekends, I did at one time too.  Just wondering how or whats others here do, to pass the time? I don't have alot of energy or I could find tons of house stuff to do....

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Billie Rae

I hate them too!I'd rather go to work and I know i should be packing but instead I nap.No desire to do anything.
Love you

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

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beaniele

I also hate the weekends. Since Roger died on a Friday night I guess that is why. Mostly just stay in and watch mindless TV. Since the weather is beautiful today it makes it worse. I think of what we might be doing on this day if he had lived and it just makes me cry.

Linda

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JES

Kevin died on a Sunday...prob. doesnt help weekends either.  I too watch mindless tv and nap to pass the time.  Him not being here to talk with/ to seems to be the hardest part.  Love to all.   Jeanne

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KayC

With the storms and the highway unstable because of avalanches and trees falling across it so many plans have been canceled and my life came to a halt lately so it's day after day home alone and it feels like a month inbetween church on Sundays...I hear ya, I used to live for the weekends when George was alive, now one day is pretty much the same as another.  JES, my husband died on a Sunday too, Father's Day.  It's been long enough I'm used to it now but still weekends are the pits because everyone else seems to have a life.

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Pim

Same here. The strange thing is: even if I have some activity scheduled for Saturday (like I had, a birthday party which I went to), I will still feel terribly lonely on Sunday. So one day with people does not give enough reserve for the day after. Also, on my lonely day it felt as if the whole world had just forgotten about me. No phone calls, no e-mails, no Whatsapp messages, nothing. Only when evening set in, and people had finished their activities apparently, did I get some messages. Maybe I'm a bit paranoid.

Anyway I was glad to go to bed at 10 pm.

Weekdays feel so much better. Even when I'm not working they do. I fear the summer holiday season though.

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Pim

As an afterthought: I have known quite some loneliness before I met Rob. I was so glad when I found him, to have and hold someone who really cared, who loved me, whom I could trust.
And now I am on my own again, not because I screwed up, or he screwed up, but because of a disease for which no cure exists. And the loneliness feels even worse this time.

I wish I wasn't so pathetic, feeling sorry for myself, I wish I was stronger.

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KayC

And now Easter is coming and no plans...haven't heard from my kids so it looks like another day alone, this gets old sometimes!

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ccoflove

The weekends are hardest for me too. I usually cry on Fri morning at the start of what would be our 3 day weekend together. I feel directionless. Plenty to do but dont know where to focus my energy if i have any at all. I find or create a project for myself as its what I know he would do, try to stay busy and productive. It does help to distract myself for a bit. Walk the dog, and watch movies or have some books on my kindle in the evenings. I have recently tried to learn some chords to play guitar, my love was a very talented player and i miss his music. I try and be like him and summon his strength. I have breakdowns pretty much everyday, give into it for a while then carry on as best i can. 

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foreverhis

Because my husband and I were both disabled, we had had to adjust our lives years ago.  Weekends were still different because that's when we had family or friends visit, usually for long weekends.  We would occasionally attend an event.  It's when more of the people we know had time to spend with us. 

Now, weekends are days where I hate to go to the store or out anywhere because I have to see all those couples together, especially the ones clearly older than my love and I.  I think how unfair it is that they get what we should have had.  I know it's not very charitable of me and it's not that I wish them harm.  It's that I want that with my love too.  If I have to go somewhere, like to our local Saturday morning farmers market, I try to pack a number of errands into the morning so that I only have to come home to a lonely house once. 

This past weekend we had some sunny, fairly decent weather, so I went outside and exhausted myself by working in the long neglected garden.  I slept reasonably well last night, only waking up three times.

I am dreading Easter, but not because it was a big deal to us.  Once our daughter moved out on her own and up to Seattle, we really didn't do big Easter Sundays, just celebrated quietly.  But the thing is that this is the first time in a very long time that I, I mean the Easter Bunny, will not be leaving my husband a See's chocolate bunny, along with one small bag of See's chocolate mini eggs.  It was his yearly treat and came about because one year the Easter bunny "forgot" him.  He gave me the boo-boo lip and said he felt bad.  I promised him then it would never happen again.  And it didn't, not even last Easter when we were getting him ready to come home from the hospital.  I honestly didn't expect such a small thing to upset me this much.

Of course, the truth we all know is that this entire journey is painful and can seem impossible at times.

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JES

I already feel better, as its Monday.  Got afew important things off my long list. We hadnt done Easter in long time as I always seemed to be working. I know my 2 single kids not doing anything, married son didnt mention either...yet.  Its hard for them, living with her parents, (sold their home, went too fast)  and now theyre stuck waiting for their home to be built this summer. My uncle has nice dinner where he lives so may just visit him...no little ones for Easter Bunny anymore :(  On the positive side, we had 60 degrees today, the snow is melting quick.  Love to all. Jeanne

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KayC

I guess it's just hard because once again a holiday is reminding us that we're alone and there doesn't seem to be anyone that cares to spend it with us.  I know that sounds like a pity pot, but honestly, how else can I feel.  I haven't heard back from either kid.  My little sister had my grandkids for the weekend and I got to see pictures of them on FB having fun, pony rides, Easter bunny, etc.  Yet my DIL has never let me have them for the weekend.  She's impressed by my little sister, she has a beautiful home and money and a husband to help her take care of them.  And I live further away.  

Okay, enough sorry for myself, I'm not sure what I'll do this weekend, it'll probably be busy at church and then home alone...again.  Sounds like a broken record.  Normally I am okay with my life but the last 2-3 months have been so many canceled plans due to weather/road conditions that I have spent way too much time alone.  I get why they worry about old folks being isolated.

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