One of my dogs named Yoda passed away on 25th

[nickchangs]

I just need to get this off my chest and I don't know where to post this. I hope this is right sub to post my story.

Me and my best friend/sister both stay together with 5 dogs, a cat and a rabbit (Yoda one of the dogs just passed away this Monday in a tragic accident, so we have 4 now).

It is our morning routine to take dogs for a walk to the terrace where they play and run. We take them in batches as a couple of them can't stand each other. Yoda (the 3-month old pup), cat named Maoii and another pup Corgi always used to play together. They love each other to bits.

Usually I am the one to guard them and my sis prepares breakfast. But that day we already had some breakfast prepared and we were supposed to take all of them to get vaccinations. My sis not having to prepare the breakfast told me that she would guard them.

I already told her that morning not to take them for their walk as we would be going out to the vet. She still insisted that they be given their play time.

While I was inside doing a daily chore/housekeeping work, I came to the lobby to go to my neighbour's house to ask for something and I see from my sideview something falling. I initally thought it was a big carton which might have accidentally fallen from above because it was a bit windy too.

Suddenly I realized it was not a box and it was Yoda (the 3-month old pup whom we rescued after he was bitten by 3 big dogs and left to die alone somewhere in January).

I immediately rushed fearing the worst because none would have survived such a fatal fall from the 5th floor. I saw him lying in a pool of blood and was very angry with my sister thinking what the hell she was upto.

I did not fight with her allowing her to explain the situation. She said before Yoda fell, the dogs were engaged in a rough play with the cat which we never allow and hence she had to go and intervene to ensure the cat was not hurt. While she was intervening, she did not get a chance to know the whereabouts of Yoda assuming he must be on the other side of the terrace playing with the cat.

All this must have taken less than 2 minutes. The moment she came out of the terrace she heard someone falling.

The guilt has been overwhelming. My sis had a suicidal thought thinking she was supposed to protect the kid but could not. I don't know how to process the grief and make peace with the situation. The house haunts us.

I am sorry for the long rant but I needed to write it somewhere.

[AJWCat]

Oh my gosh I am so sorry to read this, what a tragic accident. In the confusion with the other dogs and the cat and Yoda being so young and little - sadly, I can see how it happened. Of course, you would never expect it. 

I lost my cat very suddenly when he got horribly sick - a different situation, but it is shocking all the same.

So to answer your question, it is going to take some time to heal form this. I know there is guilt, everyone has it. And of course, I know how sad you both are. Please try to remember you are good people who rescued Yoda and then had a very bad thing happen (which now will never happen again) so be patient with yourselves and in time you will come to have some peace. I am really sorry my heart aches for you.  

[+Jeffrey+]

I am very sorry for your loss, nickchangs. I hope you find peace and comfort soon. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss.  The coulda/shoulda/woulda guilt hits us in grief as we're trying to look for a different possible outcome, but there isn't any but what happened.  It's just so hard to wrap our minds around it.  We woke up thinking it was going to be a normal day...

I'm sorry for your pain, I'm sure your sister has a lot of pain too and could not have foreseen the outcome of events.  Wishing you some peace...