Just want to talk with people who may know how to deal with the loss of my children's mother and my partner of 14 years

[foreverhis]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

These are the ones that had it, that really loved each other, that lost something so precious...we were the lucky ones.

We really were lucky. 

I mentioned to a friend a couple of days ago that even knowing where I'd be now in the depths of pain and grief, I would do it all again.  To have 35 years together through all that life threw at us, to have a man who loved me so completely that he could accept me with all my flaws, to have someone by my side who would never betray or hurt me was the greatest gift I could have asked for in the world.  I'd still jump in heart first and never look back, but this time I'd be kinder, gentler, more understanding, and just more of everything that made him happy, that made me happy, and that made us happy.

My friend and I talked about the couples we've known who have what we could only call "shallow" relationships.  Their lives seem so much on the surface with none of the depth and richness that some of us have known.  It's really true that you can only experience deep pain and grief if you've had a deep and binding love.

Lucky doesn't begin to describe the half of what we've had, I think.  Blessed or maybe given the gift of grace or maybe something I can't even put into words.

[ScottsWife]

[KayC]

Beautiful picture of the two of you!  So young, God it breaks my heart.

[foreverhis]

@ScottsWife  What a wonderful picture.  Thank you for sharing it.

[JES]

@scottswife. What a beautiful picture. Thankyou for sharing....it gives us insight to you as such a happy couple, and shares your memories with us.

[ScottsWife]

So, this picture originally included a story about our birthday. It somehow didn't make it in the posting. I cannot rewrite it as well, but, suffice it to say, my sweet Scott and I were born minutes apart in 1972. Scott used to joke, we were born on the same day, married on the same day and we'll have our children on the same day" I would jokingly say and then maybe die on the same day. Well, since cancer took my love at the tender age of 46, the last on is not happening.

But what we found out about ten years into our life together was even more shocking! Our parents had the same exact anniversary. Not that we needed any evidence, but we were convinced that we were destined to be together. What does that mean for my future. I don't know...

[ScottsWife]

We were 21 then, not yet married. Our first birthday together...We never thought that one of us would be alone to celebrate. It wasn't part of our plan...

[JES]

@ScottsWife Another beautiful picture of you both. So bittersweet that you had the same birthdays.  My thoughts, you were meant to be together,  but I'm also so sad that your time was shortened. Life just isn't fair.........  love and hugs to you.

[Billie Rae]

What beautiful pictures it's amazing the coincidences in your life.You were ment to be[emoji307]

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Grieving.com mobile app

[KayC]

Wow, it does seem you were destined to be together, I don't believe in that much coincidence!  What a beautiful young couple, I wish it had been longer. 

 

[foreverhis]

@ScottsWife  You and Scott were born the same year as my much younger sister.  She and her husband were born not minutes, but days apart and less than 50 miles from each other.  They met while they were away at college, married weeks after graduation, moved back to our home area, and are still together.  They are best friends and soulmates.  They kind of felt the same way as you because  once they met and started dating, they were inseparable.  They had all these little "I was there and I did that too" coincidences that made them feel they were destined to be together.

Thinking of them now, how young they still are, how much more time I hope they have, I am crying for you and your love.  I'm so sorry you have to go through all this grief and loss.  It should remind us all how precious life is and how rare it is to find that one person who really is our "other half."  Your pictures are so sweet and lovely.

My husband and I had the same birth month, but almost 11 years apart.  Still, little coincidences made us chuckle.  Things like my father having been one of his high school teachers.  Or that he met some of my family before he met me because they were all in a musical together (him in the orchestra; them onstage), while I was performing in a different show.  Or really nutty things like when I was 6 my dad took me with him to high school football games when it was his turn to "chaperone."  I didn't care about football (I mean, I was 6), but loved the marching band, especially the drum major.  Well, that year, my dear husband had been the drum major.  I told him later that I must have somehow known and fallen in love with him then.  The day we had our first date, we both just knew:  This is it.  This is the one for me.

All of us here were given the gift of a true soulmate.  That makes it so much harder now, but I'm trying to remember that it is because our love is rich, deep, and forever.

My heart goes out to you.  There's nothing anyone can say to us to make it better.  All I can say is that I'm glad you are here with people who understand the kind of love you shared with your Scott.  The members here have been a real help to me, especially on my worst days.

[JES]

@foreverhis  It seems like you and Tom were meant to be also. What a cute story, at the age of 6, to be looking at him.  I so enjoy your postings, and hearing all your memories...and most of all sharing them with us.  I feel I know you..... your friends are so very fortunate to have you in their lives.