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Mocha was only 3!


Matthewada20

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Howdy...I guess I’ll start off by saying I am a freshman at a big University. I am  living off campus: thus, I was able to bring my best friend—My cat Mocha. Mocha and I had a special bond. I grew up on a farm with cows, llamas, dogs, cats, chickens, etc. BUT I have never loved anyone like I did Mocha. She would make me feel good in low times and great in high times. She didn’t ask for much, just protection. I was her person. I was supposed to protect my Mocha. The worst part?? I could have. I dropped her off at the vet yesterday morning. She was there for an elective surgery—declawing. It was not necessary. She would be laying right on my chest if I never brought her in. After dropping her off at 7am, I went to my Chemistry Lab Class. On my watch, I noticed 5 missed calls from the vet. I ask to use the bathroom, thinking that I forgot to consent to something. No, unfortunately, I signed everything. “Tragedy has struck” is what the Vet told me. Once he told me Mocha passed, before even being put under  anesthesia because “her heart was too weak”, I collapse to the floor in the Hallway. That was my ‘person’. I failed her. I called my mom, in crazy tears. She started crying. I had to finish Lab, and my mom called the vet to arrange death details. I had one more class and immediately rushed to the vet after. Tears constantly flowing for the past 5 hours. What did I do? I picked up her cage, food, bed, toys, etc. I wanted her to be comfortable. No, not now. I want her here. I feel like I lost a part of me. She was my rock for going through this crazy college ride. I miss the company, not of a pet, but of my Mocha. I am so sorry that I failed Mocha. I am guilty. 3 years was not enough with my best friend. 

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OMG, I can imagine your panic and anguish!  I'm so sorry!  Never in your wildest dreams would it occur you could lose her, so young, esp. with a simple surgery, before she even got to that point!  

8 hours ago, Matthewada20 said:

before even being put under  anesthesia because “her heart was too weak”

This was NOT your fault!  This was a medical condition she had and since they hadn't even administered anesthesia, it would have happened regardless, even at home!  There are some things we cannot protect them from, some things we cannot stop, and this is one of them.  My husband died of a heart attack, had just turned 51, never got to retire or grow old with me, but I am not responsible for his heart attack, I could not have protected him, changed the outcome, stopped it!  Neither can you with your precious Mocha.  I am so sorry for your loss.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

 

 

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Oh no, I am so so sorry - how shocking. And weird. :( So young. 

I hope you are doing okay, I know that was the last thing you expected - such a sudden loss is very tough, I have been there. 

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