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HPB

Dreams / Visitations

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Almost 10 months passed since I spent my last happy evening with the Love of my life in the earthly realm.

My loneliness, isolation, depression is bigger than ever, and to make things worse, memories are partly fading. I'm very scared that my beloved wife is slowly drifting away from me. This makes the continuation of a separated life on earth not only unbearable, but getting worse over time.

Dreams are one of different possibilities to "remain in contact" with our beloved passed on partner. Other options seem to be the "signs" we might receive from them in daily life, or also trying to establish an own contact to the deceased one by meditation, or by visiting directly a medium.

There are uncountable reports from people that had an ADC (after death contact). In Bill Guggenheims classic "Hello From Heaven" there is a chapter 10: "More Than a Dream: Sleep-State ADCs". These contacts seem to be much more intense and clearer than a normal dream, also often referred to as "Visitations".

I'm not a specialist in the topic of dreams, but there seem to be different explainations for them, from the scientific view of simple neuro-electrochemical processing, to psychological/metaphysical (Jung), to spiritual/divine views (Swedenborg) of "reception" when we are sleeping. It boils down again to the basic question if we think we are human beings having a spirit (brain-bound), or rather spiritual beings experiencing a human life.

There is a (spiritist) view that our beloved partners are visiting us every night (without us remembering), and with those permanent contacts assure that we are not getting estranged over the possible decades of separation until we reunite with them in the afterlife:

Quote:

"The world beyond the grave seems in the opinion of many busy men and women, wholly cut off  from  earth and its inhabitants. This belief  in a fixed gulf which may  not be crossed is, of course, mistaken. Those who work according  to the psychic law of gravitation will frequently find some  way whereby they can commune with the departed. Even so, certain thoughtful human beings are tormented by the belief that, if theirs is  a long separation and many years must elapse before they can rejoin  the beloved in the Hereafter, they will be as strangers, not having shared common experiences, common memories, for a generation. Perhaps the poignancy of the loss of some  good comrade is principally caused by this fear of non-recognition which, through change, may mean  total separation. The sting might be drawn out of this lonely hell, this sense of complete loss, if  the  mourners realized that  the man or woman or child who loves them  need not  lose touch but, granted certain conditions, may still share with them a part of  their daily life. When you sleep your soul enters your double  or unifying body and you then pass within your subliminal self. This self can and does  commune with the beloved; he or she making contact with you through his own subliminal-self. There is then a sharing of experience. Such experience may not be  brought within the bounds of your physical memory as a rule. But after death you  will find this life that was known to you only in the depths of sleep registered in the memory  of your double, the body your  soul retains after your final farewell to earth. So, though a generation of years may have parted you from your loved one you will come  together again not as  strangers but as those who have enjoyed companionship with each other through the years. I may say, however, that such experience can  only be enjoyed by the very few people who come  within your pattern and design and who consequently are of vital significance to you in your long journey. The discarnate beings who thus pool  memories with you, are more aware of it than you can ever be. But they too,  while leading an active  life on another plane, become  temporarily detached from  the memories  of their meetings with the soul who comes in the body of sleep from earth. However, by withdrawing into their larger self this intimate life is revealed to them  when they finally  meet and greet the other on the same  plane of existence. If only human beings could realize this fact they  would spare themselves much misery, ..."

End of Quote, taken (page 84) from "Beyond Human Personality", Geraldine Cummins/Frederic William Henry Myers, 1843-1901 / free PDF downloadable: http://v-j-enterprises.com/myers/BeyondHumanPersonality.pdf

 

Whatever,

dreams seem to be a harmless way of potential contact, and I beg my Love every night before falling asleep to appear in my dream. Something that unfortunately happens not often (to be remembered), but very rarely. Other people seem to remember dreams of their lost partner almost every night, and some other folks do hardly never remember a dream. Why is this so? Beside the individual disposition of generally dreaming rarely or often, maybe it depends on how much we can "bear".

If a dream with our partner has negative or even shocking elements in it, it might be only our brain processing rather mechanically for coming to terms with our regrets and our guilt. I think it's not our partner generating the negative dream by visiting in such a way.

I hope and believe that when our beloved partners are really contacting us in a dream, then the dream will be a positive one filled with love.  I'm still waiting for a dream being so clear and uplifting that I could call/consider it a "visitation".

I had two significant short dreams. In the first one I approached my wife from "upper"- behind and hugged her, when she was thereafter saying "Come to me!"    (...very comforting invitation for me!)

The second dream a couple of days ago was a public location similar to an airport waiting lobby. There was a huge two sided sofa, on one side of it a former neighbors family was sitting (which are still alive in reality) , and on this side of the sofa my beloved Keiko and me were sitting (and again hugging). After some trivial talk to the neighbor husband, I said to him : " That's very weird, eventhough I'm now together with my Keiko, she is not present in my real life anymore". I was not aware that I was in a dream (no lucid dreaming), but I felt somehow being in a perceived second reality level, from which I could have a view on the "real" reality (where my wife is missing). This dream left me - after waking up instantly after the dream - with mixed feelings; with sadness that in my reality my Keiko is now absent, but also with hope and joy, because in that dream reality I was happily united with my wife (while reflecting at the same time that she passed on to that realm where I was apparently only temporarly in the dream).

Sounds very confusing, partly because it's difficult to describe this surreal situation in a foreign language, but also due to the confusing array of perceived existence levels in the dream itself.

Most important for me, what I felt: My beloved wife (still) IS.

 

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I already posted the following link in another thread (Nowhere to hide), but I will put it once more here.

It is an overall discussion about the veil, about the reasons why our loved ones do not contact us more often.

Concerning dreams, there is a small contribution at 15min23sec in the video from Dr. Jonathan Rose

https://youtu.be/0mViA5rOF5E?t=923

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Thank you for introducing a thread on “dreams”.  As I was reading your post I had a good chuckle at the “whatever” after the long studious quote :) I honestly believe your wife has come to you in your dreams in a real and meaningful way.  You are very fortunate.  I have only had dreams of my husband (that I remember.  I don’t remember dreams often) of him doing mundane things in my dreams full of random everyday stuff.  All except for one.  And it was unique enough that I know it was from him, meant for me.  My daughter on the other hand had an extraordinary dream about her dad within a week of his passing. It was not like a normal hazing dream but one with vivid bright colors, brightness around my husband, and very specific things he said to her.  Although I didn’t receive the dream, it gave me amazing comfort to know he’s still here/there alive and well.

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3 hours ago, HPB said:

I'm very scared that my beloved wife is slowly drifting away from me

Try to write down the most important memories you have of her. I usually write down my wife's important memories.

3 hours ago, HPB said:

dreams seem to be a harmless way of potential contact, and I beg my Love every night before falling asleep to appear in my dream. Something that unfortunately happens not often (to be remembered), but very rarely.

Maybe you dream often of her but don't remember. Keep paper and pen near your bed to write down your dreams whenever you wake up in the middle of the night.  If you do not wake up in the middle of the night try using an alarm clock.

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This is a good thread, I want to come back and look at the links when I have more time to peruse them.  I haven't had many dreams with him that I remember but maybe I'll learn something about it!

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8 hours ago, HPB said:

I'm still waiting for a dream being so clear and uplifting that I could call/consider it a "visitation".

I feel this way as well. I have had very few dreams that I can remember about my Tom, who died just a week after your beloved wife. I wonder sometimes if part of it is because our losses were so unexpected and so sudden that our brains haven't processed some of what others had time to process due to the sadness of their preparation or lingering. I hope that doesn't sound cruel - it isn't meant to at all. I grieve for all who had to watch their loved ones suffer and who had prolonged illnesses. In some peculiar way, I consider myself fortunate despite my own tragedy. I know that for my Tom there was no suffering. But perhaps for me, the suddenness of his death short-circuited something in my "dream" mind that I can't really either dream about him or remember it if I do. So, my Swiss friend, I understand what you are saying 100%, and I hope that for us things change so we can be happy, at least in our dreams. Sending you my sympathy...and empathy...

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This is very interesting indeed. I had two dreams which might classify as visitations. In the first I saw Rob but only his head, nothing else, no surroundings either. Just his head and whiteness. He looked into my eyes most intently but said nothing.
In the second dream, Rob and I were on a sort of tandem. When we stepped down, I said in amazement: "You are here!" And Rob replied "Of course I am." Then he looked into my eyes very deeply and said "I want you to live your life and I want you to be happy."

Then Rob's brother (we're back in real life now) told me that he had also had a very real dream, in which he and Rob where in a theater, or cinema, and they put their foreheads together and sat like that for a while in peaceful silence.

I am also convinced that some dreams which "starred" Rob, were just fabrications of my mind. They did not have this same feel to it.

 

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@Pim your first dream, that’s very interesting.  I had a very similar “dream” about my dad.  It was just after he passed away and we were all in the ER (my siblings and mother) holding hands. The minute I closed my eyes, it was just as you said.  Just my father’s head, he was smiling and looking into my eyes.  He had a glow around him and he said nothing to me. But I could sense that he was very happy and content. It gave me great peace at the time.

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6 hours ago, Brazil Man said:
9 hours ago, HPB said:

I'm very scared that my beloved wife is slowly drifting away from me. 

 

Yes I understand this.  I'm experiencing this deeply.

@Brazil Man great suggestions of writing down memories. 

 

This feeling of drifting away has been extremely intense as I'm entering close to 17 months since my loss.  Right now I'm exhausted.  The lightness and darkness.  I'll somehow find my way through this new feel. Even with the rays of sun and sprinkles of joy that come with the ebbs and flows through I wrote in my journal this morning "that I have no life without you Wayne." 

This is a struggle because even together we had our separate entities yet I can't imagine life without him. 

For now I'm done with all the intellectualizing.  I'm heading this darkness head on with what I carry within.  Not sure this makes sense.  I so want to be in a whole state with him again. Maybe I really don't know where I am at this moment and that's so ok. 

I'm into the messages, the signals and lately there have been some dreams.  I could be panicky because the messages are not as clear, precise and strong as initially.  It's just different now.  So there must be some energy shifting.  This is where I am at this moment.  Tomorrow I could be researching after life again.  who knows.....I follow my feelings and my needs so spontaneously.  There is no script. Even so the pain is still so excruciating even in the lightness. 

 

 I was asked to lead a private group/private payers (4) as I work this journey. To share my work processing this awful dark space. Not a grief support.  Not sharing stories.  It is a selective group.  A different approach.  If any of that makes sense.  Needless to say I wasn't interested. No interest. 

The plus is that I would hope down the road my energy will be helpful to someone beginning this journey. In some small but meaningful way.  In a subtle way....in passing.  Sometimes those moments are the best. :) xo

Needless to say I'm struggling with this life without my partner. Yesterday was blissful yet sad as he was discerning me returning to our happy place. Navigating the streets. Returning but a not clinging to a past that no longer is.  That's where the sadness, the grief returns. I can speak only for myself.  I do not want to cling.  I want to take what was us, what is realistic and healthy to take, and carry it with me into this newness.  I want it now!  I want this struggle to be done.  You are witnessing my temper tantrum again :) we all know this is a process. a long process.  painful process. :( 

as always my warm comforting gentle thoughts are we those in the midst of beginning this journey. In all I shared I still have hope and belief that that wholeness will return. xo 

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52 minutes ago, Pim said:

This is very interesting indeed. I had two dreams which might classify as visitations. In the first I saw Rob but only his head, nothing else, no surroundings either. Just his head and whiteness. He looked into my eyes most intently but said nothing.
In the second dream, Rob and I were on a sort of tandem. When we stepped down, I said in amazement: "You are here!" And Rob replied "Of course I am." Then he looked into my eyes very deeply and said "I want you to live your life and I want you to be happy."

Then Rob's brother (we're back in real life now) told me that he had also had a very real dream, in which he and Rob where in a theather, or cinema, and they put their foreheads together and sat like that for a while in peaceful silence.

I am also convinced that some dreams which "starred" Rob, were just fabrications of my mind. They did not have this same feel to it.

yes! Beautiful description for me. The whiteness.  transparent ? the portion of him....that feel.  Thes were so strong initially but not right now and that is what I'm struggling with. 

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42 minutes ago, SSC said:

He had a glow around him and he said nothing to me. But I could sense that he was very happy and content. It gave me great peace at the time.

yess!!!!! Totally!!!! 

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