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So sad But Yet So Happy

Our Big Girl is Gone But not Forgotten....

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So sad But Yet So Happy

Good Morning All,

                  My name is Jim. My wife and i lost our daughter this past sat. Her name was Savannah. Over the past 3-4 months we could see that the end was comming but we did everything we could to keep her with with us without having her in pain. She was 12. I didnt realize until she passed exactly how much she REALLY meant to us. About a year ago the vet said that she had copd. They gave her steroids and we were careful with her because steroids powers resistance of her immune system.

12 years ago we got her at the pound in crown point indiana. She came from a litter of 7 i think. When we walked into the shelter, my 2 children and myself a person was in back holding her up showing her to someone. She was 9 weeks old. The lady asked what i would like to see which originally we were looking for a cat. Well, im not a rude person at all but when the lady let us in i went back to were Savannah was and asked to see her. They gave her to us and i never looked back. She was ours.

We took care of her, loved her unconditionally and she was more than happy to return the favor. She slept with us, ate with us, cried with us, and loved us. My wife of 36 years taught Savannah to say " I love you"....We always have had some sort of animals during our life. We've always had 2 dogs. We had a Bernese Mt dog, Thunder that passed away when Savannah was about 5 1/2 years old. We didnt want her to be alone which sounds silly because she was always with us, by our feet, sleeping on the couch, or by my wife or our daughter.

It KILLED me as we took her to the vet and i think my wife and i knew but didnt want to think it. The vet said her quality of life was going down, which we already knew but not to the point she was in pain. At the vets office we had every intention of getting her fixed, vet said iv fluids, blood work, and keeping her. BUT when the vet said she couldnt really here her heartbeat because her lungs were gurgly, we both knew what was right. They kept her body in a freezer until i picked her up on tue to get her cremated. Her body frozen like a rock killed me. She was always warm and welcoming.

I took my daughter as i didnt want my wife to suffer anymore by picking up her body. I had my daughter cut a small bag of fur which i gave to my wife and she appreciated it dearly. I was looking online at other dogs and found some that looked like her. I wouldnt purchase them but think its part of my greiving process. My last words to Savannah while her eyes were open was " when its my time Savannah, i want you to come for me". This has been brutal for me to write as ive gone through many tissues. We do have our Lil Boy, Shadow. Love him. Sweet, kind, caring.

I dont want anyone to think poorly of me as we have had dogs, but Savannah was THE dog for me. I was blessed to have her in my life as alot of people have pets, but not The pet. Im sorry for my ramblings. It took me until today to be able to write this. I look forward to moving on with my Girl in my heart and when that final day for me comes and she yet agin barks out to me I love you. God Bless Everyone on this board.

 

Jim and Nancy.

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KayC

I am so sorry for the loss of your girl.  I do understand when you say she is THE dog for you, I get that, that is how I feel about my Arlie.  I've had nine dogs and 14 cats in my lifetime, but none like my Arlie, he is like a soulmate in a dog.  he's goofy, funny, the smartest dog I've ever owned, and his middle name is NOT cooperative.  I relate to his spirit, we really go well together.  I love him more than life itself and would give my life for him.  He's almost 11 and I know one day I'll be in your shoes...I don't know how I'll cope with it except probably much the same way I did when I lost my husband, the love of my life, 13+ years ago.  One day at a time.  I wrote an article of what I've learned in coping with loss, it was written with loss of spouse in mind but some of those things apply in loss of pet as well.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

  • Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
  • Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
  • Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
  • Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255
  • Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
  • Try not to isolate too much.  
  • There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
  • Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
  • Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
  • In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
  • Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
  • Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
  • Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
  • Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
  • Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
  • Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
  • Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.

 

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So sad But Yet So Happy

Thanks so very much. About a year ago i just had a " feeling" things were gonna start turning downward. I mean she was 11 at that time and as you stated she is my soulmate. I know this might not sound right to you, and please forgive me if i say this wrong, but statr preparing yourself now for that day. Nobody knows when that day will come other than it will. At least this way it may help ease the blow that you certainly dont want to experience. Savannah was My Girl. I to would have laid my life down for her. Somewere in a relationship we became more then master and dog. More like brother and sister when she was younger, and as she got older more like a Father daughter one. I look at dog websites, come to this board, have my rock of a wife to lean on, just not to much as she to fees the same way i do. But i think im trying to put a ton of effort into trying to cope with the pain. I thank you for your kind words and caring attitude.

 

Jimandnancy

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AJWCat

What a sweetheart she was, love her picture. I am so so sorry you are going through this and for your loss of Savannah.

We are never fully prepared for this pain - no matter how logically we approach it. 

We lost our cat very suddenly over a year ago, and he was like our child. We adopted him at age 5 and had him 10 years. Losing him felt like my heart had, literally, broken into two pieces. I would not have been surprised if a Dr. told me that. It's the perfect description of my pain.

So, all that said, I understand, and know where you are.

Please write more if it helps. Read other stories, you are not alone. It gets better over time but it really does take time. Be patient.  

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So sad But Yet So Happy

We are never fully prepared for this pain - no matter how logically we approach it

 

You know as much love as i have for her i tried to " gear" myself up for that final day. I think maybe it helped a miniscule amount. I truly dont feel bad that i had her put to sleep because knowing your pet you know when something is wrong. My biggest problem is the Grand Canyon void i now have in my life because she's gone. I tried to do alot of research before posting so i wouldnt post an emotional rant which i may have done already. Its just that Dam ( sorry) void thats kicking me hard. I know it never goes away. I see her walking down the hallway , wagging her tail when we come home. Or forcing her way under the computer as i try to do things, or waking up and she's next to me. Never , ever have i had to deal with this void thats so wide.....And it hurts like hell.

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So sad But Yet So Happy

Well am trying daily to hold back the tears and in todays mail i get a sympathy card from the vet on our loss. One step forward and 20 back today. Was very nice that they did that, i know we did the right thing, but feels like somebody took a scab and ripped it wide open again.....

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KayC
On 11/14/2018 at 9:36 AM, So sad But Yet So Happy said:

statr preparing yourself now for that day

I don't think there IS any preparing yourself.  And I don't want to ruin the time we have left, I want to enjoy each day I have with him.  When it happens is time enough.  I didn't know my husband would die five days after he turned 51, but I'm glad for each day in ignorant bliss beforehand.  I will get through the loss of Arlie and Kitty much the same way I did with my husband, George.  It will be hard and painful, I will cry, my heart will hurt and ache for many years to come, especially with Arlie because he is unlike any dog I've ever had, it's like he was created to be with me.  And I will know there is no replacing him.  I will get another dog, yes, I need someone to keep me company, incentive to go on living, someone to hold and talk to, but I won't expect him or her to be Arlie, that could never be.  Instead I will look for qualities in them that I love and appreciate.

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KayC
On 11/14/2018 at 9:36 AM, So sad But Yet So Happy said:

I to would have laid my life down for her.

I know how you feel, it's how I feel about Arlie.  Last summer I went on a hike with my son and DIL, it was to a place we'd never been...if I'd known what it was like I never would have taken Arlie with me.  We got near the top and the trail narrowed, and we reached a point where half of it was washed out, and somehow Arlie got turned around on the trail.  I was trying to help him, talk him through getting back around, but he couldn't hear me because he was in anxiety mode, and his back feet slipped off the trail.  I instinctively reached out and grabbed his hind end and pulled it back on the trail.  It was so quick, I felt honestly like God must have helped me because it was nothing short of a miracle.  My son was watching from behind and saw the danger and in his mind's eye, he pictured his mom falling down the ravine to her death!  He must have turned every shade of white.  When we got further up to where there was a widening, he told me, "Next time, cut the dog loose."  I responded, "Never!  I could never do that!  I would go with him, for if he died, I would want to be right there with him, consoling him until he took his last breath."  I knew it was an area where it'd be extremely difficult for helicopters to get to, there were tall skinny trees in the way, and the drop down was very lengthy.  I realized how close we came.  But I love this dog more than breath itself.  And I know my son feels the same way about his, he just doesn't want to lose his mom and I get that.  But Arlie is my little boy, I could not leave him alone to suffer and feel abandoned while he was dying, I could not.

So in that sense, I know how you feel about your dog.

I am sorry the vet's card set you back.  That's how grief is, yes like a scab peeled back...we think we're doing better and then...but it will heal over again a bit, and gradually your pain will lessen in intensity.  I can't tell you when, it's different for all of us, how resilient we are and how strong the relationship we're grieving both play in, plus we can work on our grief and that can aid our processing it.  Our tears, our feeling our pain, that's part of our processing and yes, even healing.  It takes what it takes, I've learned that.  And a part of it is always with us as we do continue missing those that we love the rest of our lives, but eventually it becomes something we learn to live with and we get better at coping.  We can't imagine that in the beginning, but our bodies are truly amazing in their ability to heal, you wouldn't think so, but I have experienced it.  Just yesterday I cried over my husband, I listened to a song that was ours, and I missed him with such intensity...and it's been 13 years and I rarely cry now, but I expect I will miss him until the day I die.

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So sad But Yet So Happy
2 hours ago, KayC said:

I don't think there IS any preparing yourself.  And I don't want to ruin the time we have left, I want to enjoy each day I have with him.  When it happens is time enough.  I didn't know my husband would die five days after he turned 51, but I'm glad for each day in ignorant bliss beforehand.  I will get through the loss of Arlie and Kitty much the same way I did with my husband, George.  It will be hard and painful, I will cry, my heart will hurt and ache for many years to come, especially with Arlie because he is unlike any dog I've ever had, it's like he was created to be with me.  And I will know there is no replacing him.  I will get another dog, yes, I need someone to keep me company, incentive to go on living, someone to hold and talk to, but I won't expect him or her to be Arlie, that could never be.  Instead I will look for qualities in them that I love and appreciate.

I guess i expressed this all wrong, which i apologize for. You can never " prepeare " yourself for a death of a loved one. But everyday i use to tell Savannah im glad she was here today and one day i know she'll be in a better place then what i can give her here on this earth. For me, it sorta prepared me for that final day. I use to listen to what i told her and that somewhat helped me out . Im sure it isnt gonna work for everyone, but honestly there was always that possibility that i would pass before my Big girl so she always knew how i felt about her. And she knew. I lost my Dad when i was 8. He died of a heart attack and he basically died in front of my mom and myself while we waited for paramedics to arrive. Thats was totally unexpected and an 8 year old doesnt expect his Father to die, let alone in front of him. That always stuck with me and when we got Savannah i always wanted to her to know i would be there for her.

 

When she had back leg issues, i picked her up, walked her outside to do her buisness, and carried her back in to her water bowl. ( always drank when she came back in). Its definetly a process, one i am coping with and will deal with much better than i am now. She willalways have a special place in my heart, but knowing her if she could talk she would want me to move on and not cry for her. ( Never listened to her anyway :)  ).

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KayC

No an eight year old certainly doesn't expect their father to die, how hard that must have been and in all the years since as you've missed him!  I thought losing my dad at 29 when I was expecting my first child was hard enough...he missed out on so much.  But maybe not, I can only hope he was able to see the kids, still you wish they could have had interaction.

I totally agree with you that they can know how we feel about them.  I've had so much loss in my life, it's kind of always in the back of my brain, I coexist with my grief and am very aware of the possibility of more death at any given moment.  Just yesterday morning another friend passed away from cancer.  I've learned death is very much a part of life, and I fear losing Arlie, but I know it will come, it's a matter of time, same with Kitty.  I try to live each day to the fullest with them so as not to have regrets, so they can enjoy each moment they have with me.  It sounds that is what you have done as well.

If I believed in reincarnation, I'd want to come back as your dog.

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So sad But Yet So Happy

If I believed in reincarnation, I'd want to come back as your dog.

That IS the most wonderful thought from your heart i have heard in a long time. Very sweet and caring of you to even say something like that. MUCH appreciated. If my wife and i lived closer, we'd meet you for coffee and a donut.

 

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KayC

And I'd take you up on it!  You really are a good and loving dad to your dog, and I'm sure she knew it.

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So sad But Yet So Happy

I need a little advice from anybody other than myself. 1,800 miles away i somehow found this dog ( Yes i looked, but not expecting to find anything). She looks pretty close to my Savannah. I know, i know. She's not and your right. This dog was a stray. She's 1 1/2 years old. Almost died but fortunately was taken care of after she was found and now she;s in good health. Initially my interest in her was her looks. Pretty darn close, and i was thinking about somehow getting her. The dog being so similar to my big girl im assuming the breed is really, really close to what i had. I understand all dogs arent alike but if the breed, color is similar to my girl im ASSUMING that she maybe similar in temperment, but being a stray in the desert i just dont know. I was approved to get her and told the lady i would get back to het on Mon-Tue of this comming week. I've heard dont get a dog just like the one you lost in looks and color. I know she's not the same but i really dont know what i should do. Any unbiased opinions here would be greatly appreciated Please.  Ty  Jim

A picture of Bridgett. Savannah is the 1st picture on top my my original post. Plz Help me.

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AJWCat

I waited a few months to adopt another cat but we were on vacation so we had little choice.  When we did, we actually got a cat that although much smaller, has very similar coloring and I admit, it drew us to her. 

You will know right away that Bridgett is not Savannah. But she will have a ton of wonderful things about her that are new and quirky. You'll appreciate the differences and of course, the similarities - they are both dogs!

All animals want and need are people to give them a home and to love them.

Are you ready to do that? 

Go with your gut and your heart. If this feels really right to you, I say do it.    

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So sad But Yet So Happy

AJWCat,

             Thanks for the kind, yet well spoken and thought out words. To some this may not make any sense, to others it may. We have had pets our entire adult lives. Started out with Guiena pigs, Hamsters. By the time we had children we had Newfys. 2 of them. Great dogs with children. My point is and i dont want to underscore anything but Savannah was MINE. All mine. LOL. She was a Great family dog spent time with the children, my grand daughter and my other dog as well. But when it was bedtime, she would hop up next to me and go to sleep. In the morning i would see those big brown eyes and here the thump, thump of her tail on the bed. I miss it...Alot. Funny thing though, our other dog Shadow, since Savannah has passed away he now takes her spot as HE is the one im looking at in the morning. My lil love  bucket.        

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KayC

It sounds like you are feeling led in this direction and this dog needs and deserves a loving home, so why not?  Just be prepared to love this dog for who she is and not expect her to be exactly like Savannah or disappointed at the differences.  They can clone a dog and the clone will have a different personality even with the same genes.  That said, I wish you all the best and I hope you'll let us know how it goes, and more pictures!!  it could be good for Shadow to have a companion too.

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So sad But Yet So Happy

They can clone a dog and the clone will have a different personality even with the same genes.  I never really knew that. Shadow and Savannah were sort of polar opposites. If a buglar came into our home Savannah would tell em were everything is. Shadow would be a diffenert story. We got shadow when Savannah was about 6. Shadow is now 6 as well. Bridgett is actually 1900 miles from me. Id love to get her but trying to figure it all out. Also trying to find a good fit, personality wise. He's not a dominant dog, he'll go be by himself but i know introducing a new dog does pose it challenges to. And its not like its a local shelter were i can take him to see how he reacts to the other dog either. He definetly could use a companion though. :)

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KayC

Let us know what you decide, and how it goes, okay?

This is a lengthy article but in it says: "And perhaps of most importance to pet owners, pet cloning companies increasingly admit that clones do not match the original pet’s personality. " https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/dog-spies/the-hidden-dogs-of-dog-cloning/  And then there's this: http://theconversation.com/why-barbra-streisands-cloned-dogs-arent-identical-to-the-original-pet-92656

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So sad But Yet So Happy

Went to get Savannah ashes today. Got those and a Large bad the vet put her body into. Brought everything home , and opened up the bag. Bad idea. Even though it needs to get washed out you could smell her and the dam opened up again. Ugh....But this is the last time i need to do anything with her body or ashes so i should feel better hopefully soon. My two daughters bought Nancy and i a customized blanket were they sent a picture of Savannah in and they gave it to us today. What a wonderful gift. My granddaughter said Grandpa are you going to use the blanket because Savannah will be close to you again, and she'll sleep with you like she use to. Precious children with precious sayings....Now Im gonna devote my time to my family more and make it past my greiving. Everyone have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving, and God Bless us all.     Jim

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L.Jackson

I am so very sorry for your loss. I too just picked up my cats ashes today and I know exactly what you are going through. It is the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye but you made the right decision. I am sure you gave Savannah a great life full of love and happiness.

 

Take care,

Laura

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So sad But Yet So Happy
1 hour ago, L.Jackson said:

I am so very sorry for your loss. I too just picked up my cats ashes today and I know exactly what you are going through. It is the hardest thing in the world to say goodbye but you made the right decision. I am sure you gave Savannah a great life full of love and happiness.

 

Take care,

Laura

Laura,

 

           Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. Yes, we did make the right choice for her and we surely tried to give her the best home we could. But, my thoughts and prayers go out to you because i to know exactly how you felt today. I found it a little easier to have pictures of her up in different rooms, and we have her fur in some of her pictures as well. And i find myself talking to the pictures which does help me. I hope you find something that works for you Laura as your cat must have had a fantastic life with such a great companion. You.

 

Jim

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So sad But Yet So Happy

Tommorrow will be 2 weeks since my Big Girl went to heaven. We have been tryna keep busy with alot of things to do to keep occupied. Last night i actually had a dream about Savannah. She was walking from the kitchen were she would be everyday with me and she walked slowly by me. I called and called her name but she didnt look up at me, just continued her normal pace. She went from the kitchen to the dinning room to the hallway. I followed her and was petting her as she continued to walk. I woke up and thought what the heck.....Thats not what my Savannah would do. Then like a flash it hit me. Can't explain it but it was her way of saying to me go on with your life now. Im ok. Can't really explain it but all i know is that she IS ok, and happy. She was her same ole self and wants me to be the same. Sorry for the ramblings, but i had to share this even though it means nothing to everybody except me.   

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Jack Russell

I have read other posts where people dream of the their pets and get such immense comfort from the experience.  It is said that this is your pet visiting you.  Take some measure of reassurance from it that she is ok.  I so wish to dream of my little Kelly as I am always wondering if she is ok.  I talk to her ashes and still tell her I love her.  Having read other similar posts there must be some form of afterlife  which we can all look forward to. Hold and cuddled our beloved animals again.  Oh what joy.

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KayC

When my husband died I didn't dream of him for a year, I couldn't understand it as we were always together, he was everything to me, but I learned to accept what I can't change...when I do get a dream it's good, but it's not often, maybe I do and don't remember it because of being in deep sleep.  IDK.

I do think your dream may have been a "visitation" with purpose like you took it.  Looking forward to that afterlife keeps me going.

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Dee rite
On 11/14/2018 at 6:20 AM, So sad But Yet So Happy said:

Good Morning All,

                  My name is Jim. My wife and i lost our daughter this past sat. Her name was Savannah. Over the past 3-4 months we could see that the end was comming but we did everything we could to keep her with with us without having her in pain. She was 12. I didnt realize until she passed exactly how much she REALLY meant to us. About a year ago the vet said that she had copd. They gave her steroids and we were careful with her because steroids powers resistance of her immune system.

12 years ago we got her at the pound in crown point indiana. She came from a litter of 7 i think. When we walked into the shelter, my 2 children and myself a person was in back holding her up showing her to someone. She was 9 weeks old. The lady asked what i would like to see which originally we were looking for a cat. Well, im not a rude person at all but when the lady let us in i went back to were Savannah was and asked to see her. They gave her to us and i never looked back. She was ours.

We took care of her, loved her unconditionally and she was more than happy to return the favor. She slept with us, ate with us, cried with us, and loved us. My wife of 36 years taught Savannah to say " I love you"....We always have had some sort of animals during our life. We've always had 2 dogs. We had a Bernese Mt dog, Thunder that passed away when Savannah was about 5 1/2 years old. We didnt want her to be alone which sounds silly because she was always with us, by our feet, sleeping on the couch, or by my wife or our daughter.

It KILLED me as we took her to the vet and i think my wife and i knew but didnt want to think it. The vet said her quality of life was going down, which we already knew but not to the point she was in pain. At the vets office we had every intention of getting her fixed, vet said iv fluids, blood work, and keeping her. BUT when the vet said she couldnt really here her heartbeat because her lungs were gurgly, we both knew what was right. They kept her body in a freezer until i picked her up on tue to get her cremated. Her body frozen like a rock killed me. She was always warm and welcoming.

I took my daughter as i didnt want my wife to suffer anymore by picking up her body. I had my daughter cut a small bag of fur which i gave to my wife and she appreciated it dearly. I was looking online at other dogs and found some that looked like her. I wouldnt purchase them but think its part of my greiving process. My last words to Savannah while her eyes were open was " when its my time Savannah, i want you to come for me". This has been brutal for me to write as ive gone through many tissues. We do have our Lil Boy, Shadow. Love him. Sweet, kind, caring.

I dont want anyone to think poorly of me as we have had dogs, but Savannah was THE dog for me. I was blessed to have her in my life as alot of people have pets, but not The pet. Im sorry for my ramblings. It took me until today to be able to write this. I look forward to moving on with my Girl in my heart and when that final day for me comes and she yet agin barks out to me I love you. God Bless Everyone on this board.

 

Jim and Nancy.

2008 christmas 023.jpg

Your sweet little girl knew true love.  

Jim I am truly sorry for your loss.  One day you will be united but know she will be watching over you as your little angel.

God bless and wishing you much strength through this difficult time 

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