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Rebekah Welch

Didn’t Get to See Her Body

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Rebekah Welch

On Friday morning my grandmother died. She was on hospice and was in my parent’s home and my mom was the caregiver. My mom called me at 6:30 that morning to let me know. I didn’t see she called until a half hour later and I called back at 7:02am. I told my mom I wouldn’t be able to be at the house until later that morning but that I would be there.  I’m a couple hours drive from my parent’s home.  I assumed my grandmother would still be there when I arrived so I could see her one last time, hug her and kiss her.  I was shocked when I arrived and her body was gone.  I’m in shock that I wasn’t given the opportunity to see her one last time.  Even if it was only her body and she had passed on I wanted to hold her hand one last time. 

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Dear Rebekah,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother. I know how much you wanted to see her. I'm not sure what arrangements were made, but hopefully you will see her at the funeral service. I know its not the same, but you will always keep her in your heart and that is what matters most.

Thinking of you.

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Rebekah Welch

Her body was removed to be cremated.  Because she had been moved from Florida to my parent’s home 9 years ago and she doesn’t  know people locally the decision was made to not have a service.  So there will not be an opportunity to see her at a funeral service.  I didn’t even ask my parents: when Granny passes will I have a chance to be with her one last time? Because I assumed my parents understood the importance of seeing her. I’m 44 and my grandmother was 97.  She’s the last grandparent.

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Rebekah Welch

I’ve spoken to my mom so many times during the past 3 months—we knew my grandmother would not be with us much longer.  My mom knew this is a painful loss for me. It never occurred to me that I should say: you know that I need to see Granny one last time when she passes, right?  To me this is obvious that I would want to see her.  I should have at least been asked if I wanted to see her before she was removed from the home.  They had her removed so quickly. I can’t understand why this was handled in this way.  

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Riddhi Taneja

My grandfather died a few years back and father was in the army at that time. Our family tried to connect to dad to tell him that his dad is no more. But my dad comes to know about it late. He reached home 5 days after my grandfather's death. It was so sad to see him like this. My father didn't even know who died in our family. All he saw was the crowd. He never forgets that day. He wanted to be there with his father in last time but it wasn't destined. He wanted to at least see him last time. But he didn't even know about his father death for 5 days. He kept guilt and it's still with him. But all he did was he left the job and started taking care of his mother (my grandmother). Guilt is still there with him but he never leaves his mother alone. 

You can't do anything about it. All you can do is take care of those who are with you. You can't do anything about the past, but you can give your time to your family who loves you and care about you so much.

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