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Loss of my cat


Charlie11

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I bought a cute male kitten for my daughter 9 months ago. She named him Meow Meow. I nicknamed him Mr. Socks. He was allowed to go outside during the day but we always kept him inside during the late afternoon and evenings. I recently had him neutered last week. The vet had told me to keep him inside for 7 days. On the 6th night, the day before I was going to be able to let him out, he escaped. I was going out to my car and didn't realize I hadn't closed the door all the way. I saw him in the front yard and tried to grab him but he ran away to my neighbors. I ran after him and after several more unsuccessful attempts, he disappeared into the night. He went missing on the 28th and still has not returned. We live at the base of a mountain said so our neighborhood is rampant with coyotes. 

I've lost many pets in the past. They are never easy. However as a father, seeing my 9 year old in so much pain is absolutely devastating for me. I'm not one to get too emotional but I am having a really difficult time coping with this loss. He really was a great cat. We all bonded with him and I am kicking myself in the ass right now for not closing the door all the way. Not only do I miss him incredibly, I'm carrying this guilt. It was my lack of awareness that this happened. My daughter has been crying every night. She should be excited for Halloween but instead all she wants is her cat. I've lost my appetite and at night I'll wake up in a sweat and short of breath. I've never had an anxiety attack but this almost feels like one. I just my daughter to be happy and I want this pain and guilt that I'm feeling to go away. We lit a candle for him last night and said our goodbye's. I guess time will heal. 

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I am very sorry about your cat and the sadness you and your daughter are going through.Some cats want to go outside and it's difficult to prevent this cause they seize the moment to do so.I used to have 5 cats,the one died one month ago from cancer.He was the only one who was trying to get out whenever he got the chance,i was terrified he would be hit by a car or got lost and i lost him from another reason.Don't blame yourself.You must consider the fact that your cat is still alive and got scared and lost his way.Put posters with his photo(if you haven't already) and you never know.Another fact that you could consider is if your cat had a health problem you hadn't realized and he wanted to hide...cats use to do that when they feel sick cause they don't want their family to see them like this.It has happened to me with a cat i had in the past who was hidden in my neighbor's house.I hope you will feel better soon.

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Charlie, I am so sorry.  How long has he been gone?  I'm sure you posted flyers, put it on FB, talked to neighbors, etc., but if not, I hope you will.  It's possible he thought the keeping him inside was a new rule and you'd never let him out again, so he left.  He may be fine, just found somewhere else to live.  

When my husband died, his cat Tigger waited around for two months to come back, then he took a long hard look at me as if committing me to memory, turned tail, and left.  I never saw him again.  My hope is he found another home rather than trying to live in the wild on his own, because like you say, there are coyotes, fox, bear, and worst of all, cougars here.  My daughter's cat, Batman did the same thing, we never saw him again, never forgot either of them.  George and I picked Tigger out together but it was more his cat as he'd play with him while I fixed dinner, so they had an attachment.

I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for your daughter...that's the really hard part, watching your little girl suffer like this.  Loss is hard.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

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I am so sorry for your loss, we've had a few cats who have just been outside cats, and they are pretty much impossible to stop when they want to get out. This wasn't your fault at all. Perhaps the worst hasn't happened? We had a cat who disappeared for over a week, we were in a rural area, farm life, snakes, feral cats etc. we had given up on him, but he eventually found his way home, injured but home. I am really hoping for the same outcome for you (not the injured part). Please don't blame yourself for this, cats are very quick you can't always catch them.

You are right, time does heal it. I hope you and your daughter are coping.

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