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7 years gone, grieving for the first time

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I met my love when I was 15, we knew each other for 10 years and then he died suddenly from an overdose. I never allowed myself to grieve, life went on and I had accomplishments but I was on autopilot the whole time. He wasnt an addict so I was in shock and then I just never allowed myself to grieve. I felt like I died too.

I have kids now, their dad left me. And they're my motivation to allow myself to grieve and start taking care of me. I keep feeling like I'm making progress and then one thought hits me like a ton of bricks and I second guess myself and my progress. It's been 7 years and it feels like that's such a long time ago but when I think about him I can see his face so clearly, I can hear that crazy laugh that made me laugh everytime. I miss him everyday. I have a new partner whom makes me feel all these things i forgot i could feel and I'm trying so hard not to mix up the feelings, but all it takes is one thought of Luke and i feel confused as to what I'm feeling and for whom. I dont know what i need right now

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Dear Shanarose,

Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Grief is a very individual thing.

If you want to maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group through church or the community.


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