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Shannarose85

7 years gone, grieving for the first time

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Shannarose85

I met my love when I was 15, we knew each other for 10 years and then he died suddenly from an overdose. I never allowed myself to grieve, life went on and I had accomplishments but I was on autopilot the whole time. He wasnt an addict so I was in shock and then I just never allowed myself to grieve. I felt like I died too.

I have kids now, their dad left me. And they're my motivation to allow myself to grieve and start taking care of me. I keep feeling like I'm making progress and then one thought hits me like a ton of bricks and I second guess myself and my progress. It's been 7 years and it feels like that's such a long time ago but when I think about him I can see his face so clearly, I can hear that crazy laugh that made me laugh everytime. I miss him everyday. I have a new partner whom makes me feel all these things i forgot i could feel and I'm trying so hard not to mix up the feelings, but all it takes is one thought of Luke and i feel confused as to what I'm feeling and for whom. I dont know what i need right now

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Dear Shanarose,

Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Grief is a very individual thing.

If you want to maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group through church or the community.

 

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Angelinthepit
I met my love when I was 15, we knew each other for 10 years and then he died suddenly from an overdose. I never allowed myself to grieve, life went on and I had accomplishments but I was on autopilot the whole time. He wasnt an addict so I was in shock and then I just never allowed myself to grieve. I felt like I died too.
I have kids now, their dad left me. And they're my motivation to allow myself to grieve and start taking care of me. I keep feeling like I'm making progress and then one thought hits me like a ton of bricks and I second guess myself and my progress. It's been 7 years and it feels like that's such a long time ago but when I think about him I can see his face so clearly, I can hear that crazy laugh that made me laugh everytime. I miss him everyday. I have a new partner whom makes me feel all these things i forgot i could feel and I'm trying so hard not to mix up the feelings, but all it takes is one thought of Luke and i feel confused as to what I'm feeling and for whom. I dont know what i need right now


I can relate a lot to what you’re saying. It’s been 14 years since I lost my boyfriend and when I take a look back at the space between now and then I feel the “autopilot”. I’m coming up for air now that I’m getting married and starting to get more in touch with deeper emotions again. I’m here if you want to chat.


Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com

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