Members Austin Mehallow Posted October 14, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 At the time of writing this it is October 14th, 2018. Kira, one of my two dogs, a German Shepard golden retriever mix, passed away October 12th, 2018 on a Friday while I was at school. It was a completely normal day at school until my parents shared the news when I came home. I’ve been a depressed mess since and I don’t know what to do. Kira was only 8. 8 years old. She was a normal, healthy, energetic dog, who I’m pretty sure would’ve lived so much longer had this tragedy not have happened. She was scheduled for a simple teeth cleaning, something the vet does thousands of times with no problems whatsoever. I had not even thought about what the anesthesia could have done. It was around 9:20 that morning when her heart rate went down to 50bpm during the teeth cleaning, and the vet immediately administered a drug to bring it back up, which worked but only for her to go into cardiac arrest. She never woke up. I don’t know why this has happened, Kira didn’t deserve it, we’d been through so much like the time our house burnt down in 2016. All of that only to have her taken away that quickly, we were so unprepared. Every day I cry, every time I see her cage or her dog food or her old shock collar I burst into tears. I keep saying things in my head like, “oh, I remember wearing these clothes before she died,” or, “I remember reading this book before she died.” It’s honestly killing me. That Thursday night before she died Kira was curled up in the doggie bed in the living room just laying there silently falling asleep. I was laying there with her watching my favorite show on tv, I couldn’t have been more happy. And now she’s gone, gone forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Austin Mehallow Posted October 14, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted October 14, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 Hi Austin, I am SO sorry to read about what happened with Kira. I am sure that the vet was surprised too as those things are fairly rare. I lost my cat to something awful (like maybe a poison they thought) and for several days I was in shock. Even coming to grips with my loss, it took me quite a while to deal with it and accept what happened. I cried a lot and to be honest, between me and my husband, we were both depressed. Like you, having our cat with us all the time was a big part of our happiness. (He was like our kid!) Losing Kira is, I know, a horrible shock to you and so please be patient with yourself as you grieve. Kira will be in your heart and your memories forever... but it is going to take some time to grieve and reach something that feels like peace. I know how sad you are and it didn't help that this was so unexpected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Austin Mehallow Posted October 14, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 Thank you AJW, your kind words really mean a lot. I’m still in that shock phase, feeling as if Kira was literally stolen from us, and I can’t help to think about all the good memories we still could have made if she were here. I’m so sorry about your cat as well, I guys we are or were in the same boat at one point. I’m trying to move on but it’s so hard, i hope my fur baby is on the rainbow bridge right now playing with other floofers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 15, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 I'm so sorry. Your dog is beautiful! I have a Siberian Husky/Golden Retriever, I recognize the beautiful thoughtful eyes. I've been thinking of getting my dog's teeth cleaned but am terrified of this very thing happening. Four years ago I had surgery and they literally killed me with the anesthesia, had to give my heart compressions to get it going again, and no, I don't have heart trouble, they just over-anesthetized me. I no longer take anesthesia lightly, it literally terrifies me. They already told me they wouldn't touch my cat because of her age (she's 23), and my dog is almost 11. I know cleaning their teeth is supposed to extend their life, but I'm just too scared. I understand your feeling like Kira was stolen from you, this isn't supposed to happen, yet all too often, it does. It sounds like everything in your life pivots around the point of her death, your life is separated into "before" and "after". That's often how death affects us. I lost my husband 13 years ago and my life seems before and after that point. Also, 50 years ago my sister became a quadriplegic in an accident that took her 3 year old's life, everything is before and after that point too. It's weird how it affects us like that, but it's a pivotal point. In time we adjust to the changes it means for our lives, but it takes much time to process our grief. Be patient with yourself, I'm glad you found this place, it helps to let it out and express yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beatriz Posted October 15, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 I am very sorry for your loss and understand you can only be in shock considering how this happened and could not have been foreseen, it is very sad indeed. As @KayC states above, “this isn’t supposed to happen, yet all too often, it does”. I know it is little comfort to you but different circumstances would not change your pain. Both my cats were diagnosed and treated for life-threatening conditions yet when they died I felt they were stolen from me. @KayC is right about the “before” and “after” as well. All I wanted and would beg for was my life as it was with both my cats there. I still do. Yet the changes are here and I have no choice but to face them. Take your time to grieve and be kind to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Austin Mehallow Posted October 15, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2018 4 hours ago, KayC said: I'm so sorry. Your dog is beautiful! I have a Siberian Husky/Golden Retriever, I recognize the beautiful thoughtful eyes. I've been thinking of getting my dog's teeth cleaned but am terrified of this very thing happening. Four years ago I had surgery and they literally killed me with the anesthesia, had to give my heart compressions to get it going again, and no, I don't have heart trouble, they just over-anesthetized me. I no longer take anesthesia lightly, it literally terrifies me. They already told me they wouldn't touch my cat because of her age (she's 23), and my dog is almost 11. I know cleaning their teeth is supposed to extend their life, but I'm just too scared. I understand your feeling like Kira was stolen from you, this isn't supposed to happen, yet all too often, it does. It sounds like everything in your life pivots around the point of her death, your life is separated into "before" and "after". That's often how death affects us. I lost my husband 13 years ago and my life seems before and after that point. Also, 50 years ago my sister became a quadriplegic in an accident that took her 3 year old's life, everything is before and after that point too. It's weird how it affects us like that, but it's a pivotal point. In time we adjust to the changes it means for our lives, but it takes much time to process our grief. Be patient with yourself, I'm glad you found this place, it helps to let it out and express yourself. @KayC thank you for your very nice reply, I’m on my 4th day of grieving and I’m slowly getting better, her loss is still heartbreaking but I feel like I’m coming to terms with her death and starting to accept that there is nothing that I could have done about it, and that my family and I gave her the best 6 years she could have had(we adopted her when she was 2). I imagine her up in heaven or the rainbow bridge or wherever beloved animals go when they pass and I can’t wait to see her there some day. I am also very sorry for the loss of your husband and your sister. My mom just lost her dad last year and she was finally becoming emotionally stable and then this happened. So I feel really bad for her. But again, I would just like to thank you and all the other kind replies, because I’m so thankful I found this website. We got her paw imprinted onto a clay heart and everyday I go and kiss it, that sounds weird but it really helps me for the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 16, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 16, 2018 20 hours ago, Austin Mehallow said: We got her paw imprinted onto a clay heart and everyday I go and kiss it, that sounds weird but it really helps me for the day. It's not weird at all! Anything we do that brings us any degree of comfort...we need all we can get. It's something that makes you feel closer to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JackieJr07 Posted November 3, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 Im sorry for your loss I know how tough this is specially when you feel they had more time to be with us . You feel robbed out of their time but you know what you learn after is that they have served their purpose in your life . After I lost my furry dog I read a couple books about pets in the afterlife and well you realize they do come back in another dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JellyBean04 Posted November 3, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 I am so sorry for your loss of Kira, she was beautiful. Unexpected loss can be so hard, there are risks with general anaesthetic as my vet told me when I took my 10 year old cat for teeth cleaning. There is nothing you could've done about it and she was very lucky to have you in her life looking after her. There are many triggers we face every day, I lost my 15 year old cat 6 weeks ago and I still haven't moved her food bowl, or her bed, and seeing her hair on my clothes still makes me cry. What you're feeling isn't strange or weird at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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