Friend ignoring me after I got angry at her

[MarkOD]

I lost a close friend to suicide just over a week ago and I have been deeply upset and hurt. After a few days of isolating myself from my friends I managed to tell a few of them what I was going through.

One of my friends invited me for a walk two days ago, I assume to help take my mind off things a bit. However on the walk she was clearly uncomfortable and gave me the impression that she didn't want to be there. For a brief moment I got incredibly angry at her for this and told her if she didn't want to be around me she should just leave. Which she then did.

I later messaged her apologising and explaining that I think I got angry at her because I was angry at myself for feeling like I put her in a position where she was uncomfortable and upsetting her. She messaged back saying that she didn't have anything to say.

I asked her if she could ever forgive me for taking my anger out on her and she didn't reply and since then she has ignored me.

Now I can't help but feel angry at my friend for not accepting my apology and understanding that I am not myself at the moment, and then I get angry at myself for being angry at my friend.

At times it feels like I have lost another friend.

It just sucks and I want to do something to fix things, but I am not sure what to do.

I am thinking of sending her a message saying.

'Whenever you are ready to speak to me I would love to her about your day, what you've been up to, anything really. I need all the friends I can get right now.'

But I don't want to make her feel guilty or any worse for not speaking to me.

  

[reader]

Dear Mark,

I'm so sorry to hear of your argument with your friend. It's a very raw time. I find even well meaning friends don't know what to say or do or how to react.

I think it will be okay to give things a few days and send her another message.

During these difficult times we have to find more supports than ever. Please consider grief counselling or joining a support group in the community or through church. There are also many groups on Facebook. Lots of good websites to give additional supports.

Grief in Common

What's Your Grief

Grief Healing Blog

GriefShare

Grief Recovery Method.

Don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes even the smallest things during grief can lead to outbursts.

Take care and please know you are not alone.