Members Gwendolyn Rose Posted October 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 7, 2018 I lost my parrot suddenly to an aggressive form of cancer in September of 2017. She was 19 years old and the center of my universe. I also had three cats of varying ages that died of over the following 10 months. Even though I loved my cats very much, my parrot Elsa was my soul mate. Her death took the life out of me and the subsequent deaths drained the rest. I absolutely do not want another parrot. By August I was contemplating suicide. I had tried grief counseling and it was a joke. The best therapy I could find was to go to the animal shelter and visit the cats. When I was there, I did not cry and it turned my day around. There was one special cat, Maggie, a 6-year-old who had been returned twice. She was so sweet and loving, she sucked all the sadness out of my heart while she sat on my lap. I didn’t think I should adopt another pet until I was at least able to not cry all the time. But every time I went to the shelter I was worried Maggie would be gone. I brought Maggie home Tuesday, October 2. She has been very affectionate and well mannered, sleeps with me all night, sits on my lap, everything I could hope for in a cat. But as the days passed, I found myself grieving my parrot acutely. The pain in my heart that Maggie was able to assuage is now constant. I keep dreaming that Elsa has come back and every morning I have a panic attack. I’m afraid Maggie will be afraid of me because I was never like this at the shelter. What’s wrong with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 8, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 Nothing, you are grieving. It takes much time to process our grief, even longer to find purpose and longer yet to build a life we can live, it doesn't happen overnight nor just because we want it to, it takes so much time and effort to grieve... Give Maggie a chance, she will be in tune with you and try to help you if you let her. I pray she fill that need within you. No one animal is the same as another so none replaces another, but they can create their own place in your heart if you let them. It's only been six days since you adopted her, it may take quite some time. @AJWCat you want to add something to this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted October 10, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2018 Agree with you @KayC - sorry @Gwendolyn Rose you have had a very tough year. In Aug 2017, I lost my cat of 10 years very suddenly (and in a horrible way which still saddens me every time I think of it. I was very traumatized as well.) I had to have a cat in my life again. To me, animals make a home a home. Finally we were able to adopt one after a couple months, we would have sooner but we were traveling and without a permanent home. Now, this new little cat and me and my husband are in love. She will never replace our special guy we lost - nothing ever could. It took me a couple months to bond with her and get used to her and to appreciate her differences and find joy in her similarities with our guy that didn't just depress me. I still panic sometimes thinking about her being harmed as I am so terrified of going through such pain again. Sadly that is life though. You want joy you risk pain. You said your parrot was the center of your universe. That does not just heal overnight. Please be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grieve that loss. You will come to develop a new and special relationship with Maggie. She will never replace what you had with your sweet parrot but she can help you heal and she needs a good home too. Take it day by day, some days are better than others. I hope today is better for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gwendolyn Rose Posted October 11, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2018 Thank you @AJWCat and @KayC for your kindness and encouragement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 11, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 11, 2018 We really wish you the best...I wish there was a way to speed up the healing process, it just flat out hurts and it's so hard! It will happen though, it really does take time. Meanwhile, I think you'll find if you keep your heart open for Maggie, you'll be surprised how much you'll grow love for her. I am glad AJWCat responded to you, I thought of her because I know what she went through when her cat died a year ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members theonlydrsooz Posted October 12, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 12, 2018 I am sorry for the loss you've endured. Give yourself more time. Maggie will have her own special charms. Just love her and give her your heart. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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