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How do we help our other dog cope with the loss of his best friend?


jen31676

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This past Thursday I had to make the decision to put our Boston Terrior, Nelson to sleep.  He was in a lot of pain and lost too much weight. Our dog was hurting (pain meds did nothing this time) the vet was closing soon. I called the vet in hope of a new pain medication was all he needed.  It wasn't good. They believed it was cancer and that's why he wasn't gaining weight.  No matter how much I fed him. I knew it was time to let him go. It was 2 months of fighting what the vet and I thought was a stomach ulcer, to it actually being something else.  We thought he was getting better just I didn't see him gain weight. Breaks my heart.  Now our Weimerier is broken hearted.  He's 10 and has lost 3 companions over his life span.  I think his anxiety was triggered by the loss of our boxer when he was younger.  I'm worried for him. I've kept the dog beds for him to smell his buddy but I know he's depressed.  He looks for him time to time around the house.  I'm not sure what I can do for him. Maybe a stuffed animal to sleep with at night? They use to sleep together at times.  Any suggestions?

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I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a very hard time for us & can be equally hard on the animals left behind. We had 2 rescue dogs who were sisters & one of them became very ill suddenly and passed away.

The other became very stressed & anxious, it was hard to watch. We left the bedding there as well and bought her some new toys. We also gave her a lot of extra attention & tried to make sure that someone was with her all the time (though this can be difficult logistically). Letting her sleep inside on the bed also seemed to help.

In time she did get better, I guess an animal's grief over a companion is very similar to our own. It is very upsetting, I really hope you're doing okay

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I'm hanging in there.  I cry every day.  Less than the first day but the ache in my heart is still there.  It hurts more watching my dog Cooper go back to his bed every morning knowing his buddy isn't in the house.  I believe he's grieving.  He's eating and does show interest in playing with us. The good thing is my husband and I work from home, so we are home with him a lot.  We haven't left him alone yet. I feel sad for him. I have to be strong for my son. He's 9 and lost his first dog. It's tough all around.  

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 I'm hanging in there.  I cry every day.  Less than the first day but the ache in my heart is still there.  It hurts more watching my dog Cooper go back to his bed every morning knowing his buddy isn't in the house.  I believe he's grieving.  He's eating and does show interest in playing with us. The good thing is my husband and I work from home, so we are home with him a lot.  We haven't left him alone yet. I feel sad for him. I have to be strong for my son. He's 9 and lost his first fur baby. 

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I also have tremendous guilt for letting him go. My husband was out of town and was heading home that evening.  I feel horrible my husband didn't have the chance to say goodbye.  I wish I could have suggested to the vet to have one more day.  Could we have given him stronger pain medication? I hate that I was told cancer and only got 15 minutes with Nelson to actually realize it was the end. I was under the idea it was an ulcer.  Something treatable.  He would get better.  I seems like such a blur. I called to see about better pain medication, not ending my dogs life. Even though I knew, deep inside, Nelson was letting go. Right now I'm in disbelief.  Sadness. Those 4 short years with Nelson made a huge impact on me. This grief is just as bad as losing my cat of 18 years. 

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I had a 19 year old cat, King George.  He was a wonderful family cat, always my greeter when I came home from work.  That cat was amazing, I loved him so much!  He went through so much pain and suffering his last year, he lost weight there was thick green mucous (gangrenous) coming from his sinuses.  I took him to the emergency vet (I live in the country and we only have a local vet on Wednesdays) 50 miles away and they put him in a room by himself, would not let me back, I do not think they examined him properly, just charge me exorbitant price and send us home with antibiotics.  They ran out and he was no better so I got them refilled at my local vet at 1/3 the price.  I didn't care about the price but I mention it because the ER vet was only all about $ and didn't care about my cat.  Still he didn't get better, so I took him in to my regular vet and he told me he has cancer, he showed it to me, starting from the roof of his mouth and going up into his sinuses.  He said, "Imagine the worst head cold you've ever had, multiply it by about 1,000, and that is how this cat feels."  There was nothing could be done about it, it was too far gone, he'd lost too much weight.  I had him put to sleep immediately.  He is buried in my backyard with a tombstone.  He was stoic up to the end, purring, bearing his pain and suffering.  I felt angry that the other vet hadn't caught it because they were so busy making $ they didn't even both examining him properly.  I called them, I never got an apology or acknowledgement.  I would never take another animal there, never!

Sometimes the kindest thing we CAN do is letting them go, sparing them further pain, regardless of how hard it is on us, that we didn't get time to say goodbye...we want what is best for them, and what is best for them is no more suffering!

I'm sorry your husband didn't get to be there, I'm sorry you're all suffering in grief right now, but know you did the right thing, the kindest and best thing for your pet.  I know it's hard, it hurts, grief does...I've had to live with grief for years, I've lost my husband, parents, sister, niece, nephew, and many, many friends and pets.  Grief is part of me now, I have learned to coexist with it, it never leaves me.  I have learned to embrace what is good in life, no matter how small, no matter how fleeting, we need all we can get.  (((hugs)))

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Thank you. It helps to talk with others who have been in similar situations.  We're not alone. I'm talking one day at a time.  Being there for my son, husband and my other fur baby.  Hugs

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