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steve76020

My jack went to heaven today

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KayC

Steve,

You did the right thing, your gut instinct was telling you to protect Jack, not to let him suffer.  The vet was likely right in his assessment, he had nothing to gain by telling you that, only giving you facts to help you decide what to do.  Any of us parents want to protect our babies.  I am going through it now too, my dog has cancer and when he reaches the point where he is suffering too much and life is too difficult for him, I will have to decide the same thing, I do not want him to suffer, he doesn't deserve that.  I don't want to keep him alive at HIS expense just so I can selfishly have another day with him.  I do believe we'll be together again in a better place when my time too comes.

It is normal to go through self recriminations, guilt, what ifs in grief...it's our body's way of looking for a different possible outcome.  But it's not steeped in reality, it's our fantasy world, we just want them back.  Who can blame us?!  They were the best part of life, they were such wonderful companions!  

Jack drew his last breath in his physical body, but that didn't affect his love and acceptance of you...the same love you always had for each other is still there.

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AJWCat

Steve I reread your story again I am SO sorry. I am not surprised, you were very rushed into the decision but that doesn't mean it was not right for Jack. He was in serious distress. You had no good closure with this. It was sudden, out of the blue and you had no control of the situation to even have time to think. 

Maybe you could write Jack a letter explaining it all? It might help give you the peace of mind you need. I shared here a lot too because I lost my cat in a 2 hour window after he was suffering greatly. It took a long time for me to deal with it. I was really angry and sad. But I know letting him go was the right thing, he was slowly suffering and was not going to make it. Sometimes my mind will play tricks, like, what if he would have turned the corner? No, that's just me bargaining. 

I hope you find some peace with losing Jack, I know how this is and I am so sorry you lost him. 

 

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KayC

AJWCat,

Thank you for being there, you've lived it, you know the right things to say because of that.

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foreverhis
On 10/26/2018 at 6:59 AM, KayC said:

I believe they are aware and we will be with them again.  They are in a happy place and I console myself with that...the pain we carry is ours alone to bear and I'm thankful they no longer suffer.

I hope and pray that our special furry babies were there waiting to welcome my beloved soul mate.  I see the three of them in my mind's eye restored to youth and health and taking care of each other now.  I also hope and pray that they will all be there waiting to welcome me when it's my time.  Believing these things helps me get through each grief-filled day now.

I don't intend to insult anyone's faith when I say that I don't think I'd want to believe in a God who didn't welcome animals into Heaven, whatever that turns out to be.

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KayC
30 minutes ago, foreverhis said:

I don't intend to insult anyone's faith when I say that I don't think I'd want to believe in a God who didn't welcome animals into Heaven, whatever that turns out to be.

I think there's a great deal of us that feel strongly about that, even if we haven't voiced it as such...to me it only makes sense that our animals will be there. God's highly intelligent, caring, He created them, why wouldn't He have them there?  Heaven couldn't be heaven without our sweet animals.

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steve76020

Well 10 months since jack passed and it still makes me cry to think about it, guys I'm a 6ft 3in tall 235 lb person and that little tiny 15 lb dog broke my heart when he left and I cant seem to shake it. i miss  him so much and i feel like such a coward for being unable to be there in his last moment. it makes me hate myself.

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KayC

Maybe it made it easier on him to not have to deal with your pain as he focused on his transition...I held my dog, sobbing, as he went to sleep, I feel I unfairly placed that burden on him when he should have been allowed quiet comfort of release.  I guess no matter how we do it we feel we should have done it differently.  But we did our best and we loved them to the moon and far beyond...and they knew it.

My wishes go with you.

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foreverhis
On 8/20/2019 at 8:23 AM, KayC said:

I guess no matter how we do it we feel we should have done it differently. 

This should be emblazoned on our hearts.  It should remind us that we are not alone in those feelings.

We always seem to ask "Why did/didn't I...?" and that we somehow let down the ones we love above all others, including ourselves.  It's only human to want to strive for better.  But I'm beginning to think that doing the best we can at the time, each day, is all we can ask of ourselves because we wouldn't ask for more from our soul mates and all the others we love. 

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KayC

Steve,

I am so sorry to hear of this,the pain is incredible...I had my Arlie put to sleep three weeks ago tomorrow, he had cancer and wasn't operable, it was too late when they caught it, I didn't want him to suffer beyond what he was.  It seems so unfair sweet dogs go through this, I feel as you do, I know there will never be another Arlie.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.  :(

 

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steve76020

well reno two days you have been gone and I'm so sorry, you were so peaceful my dear companion and I'm thankful for that but I'm so sorry we went through that. you were my daily companion and you will never know all the tough times you got me through.  thank you for the love and comfort you gave me and I hope at the end I gave you some of the same i just knew you couldn't be happy with your life having trouble even getting a drink and us having to take you to potty and helping you with that, it had nothing to do with our decision what did was knowing how you loved to rip and run and now you couldn't barely get around... I love you boy and I will see you soon

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steve76020

well 5 days ago reno went to heaven, last November my little honey girl went and on oct, 4 it was my little jack the end of 2018 and 2019 have been a horrible year as far as losing my little companions I still have sparks hes about 17 and very healthy and buddy who is around 12 I love them both tons but they are grieving too as they wander aimlessly around looking for their brothers and sister. it's not fair that the little ones dont live longer it's so hard losing them and I miss them every day.. until I see yall again, run, play, enjoy your newfound health and take care of each other, reno you are the big brother watch out for the little ones..

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KayC

Steve,

I am so sorry, oh God I know the pain!  It has broken my heart in two to lose Arlie, it was August 16th.  It feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from.  Everything is a trigger and reminder of his absence.  I've questioned my decisions and actions, I've second guessed myself and everything I know about grief with my head, well in my heart it's hard to realize. 

I'm glad you are of the belief and faith that they go to a good place and we'll be with them again.  That is my hope too and I couldn't get through this without it!  My former pastor commented on my facebook that he believes they go to heaven, and that meant a lot to me because he's very educated and I respect his opinions.

I hope this article is of help to you as you have surviving pets that are also missing her.

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2018/06/pet-loss-supporting-your-grieving-pet.html

 

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