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steve76020

My jack went to heaven today

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KayC
21 hours ago, steve76020 said:

jack where ever you are wait for me and i will scratch your neck and ears again

I believe they are aware and we will be with them again.  They are in a happy place and I console myself with that...the pain we carry is ours alone to bear and I'm thankful they no longer suffer.

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steve76020

One month and it's still the most pain I've suffered since my mother passed in 1983, will it ever heal?

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KayC

It heals to a point, the rest we live with.  Little by little we adjust to the changes it means for our lives.  Instead of the stabbing pain we are left with a kind of void where they used to reside, like a sadness we carry inside of us.  Always missing them.  But we do adjust and learn to live with it.  We carry on with our lives, do our jobs, meet with friends, can smile and laugh, but inside...this is always there.  That's why I say I coexist with my grief.  It's my companion now.

I lost my precious granddoggy over five years ago.  I still miss him.  I will miss him the rest of my life.  He was the most precious sweet guileless dog I've ever known.  He lived with me half his life.  And he loved his grandma!  He was simple, like a Down's Syndrome child, very very sweet, more so than any dog I've met.  Hard to put into words, but if you knew him, you'd know what I was talking about, and nothing changes how I feel about him, no amount of time, nor the fact he's buried in my back yard.  My dog loved him too.  If I play a video of Skye making his noises (he's Husky), Arlie hears him and runs to the patio door, looking for him.  That breaks my heart, that my little boy (dog) doesn't realize Skye is dead and is never coming back.

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steve76020

well jack went oct 4th and now our little honey our little female chipom went today 11/18 she passed this am on the way to an emergency vet she went eerily like my jack panting and struggling to breath she also had congestive heart failure too.. shes with jack now bless her little heart my wife and i are getting hit with our babies dying and its not any fun, honey is my neices dog but she felt like my child as well. i suppose its what happens when you get dogs near the same time and then 10 plus years pass. honey we will see you in heaven

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So sad But Yet So Happy

Steve76020,

                  Truly my heart goes out to you. I realize that the wounds are still fresh and to have this happen to you again. My God, i truly cant imagine. When i first came to this board about a week ago it felt like i was the only one that was truly, truly in pain. A pain that could never be reckoned with, or coped with. After reading what you wrote Sir, i was so wrong. The healing does start right away but its in so small amounts it doesnt really add up to anything significant for awhile. I know words right now cant really satisfy you but know that their is a community that stands beside you with always an ear to lend, a shoulder to cry on or a keyboard that will answer and talk with you about your loss. God Bless you and your family in their time on need and know that its true, writing about it when you can does really help. God Bless You and yours.     Jim

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KayC

@steve76020  I am so sorry, I know it's hard, there's no easy way about this.  My heart goes out to both of you.  :( 

 

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AJWCat
On 11/4/2018 at 9:21 AM, KayC said:

It heals to a point, the rest we live with. 

I love this KayC... this is it. Like a scar right? (And. oh sweet Arlie! What a love.) 

@steve76020 I am so sorry that you are going through this again. That is awful. Years ago I had two cats and when I lost the first (they were siblings) I was so so sad but having my other cat helped so much and she didn't go until over a year later. My heart goes out to you. These loses are profound.  

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Jack Russell

Steve 76020 I lost my precious Kelly on 19 June and when I got into the car from work today I just screamed and cried all the way home. It comes in waves. It still hurts but I am coping with the knowledge of her untimely death at the hands of others.  But I do now do other things but she comes into mind constantly. It will get easier it just takes time.  I am so sorry you are going through this pain, we have all experienced the intense pain of loosing our best friends and companions. It just wasn't Kellys time and I never expected her to loose her life this way which has made it harder. But all of us here know your pain. We are thinking of you x

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KayC

June 19 was my husband's death day.  You are so right, it does take time to make our way through this.  In the beginning the shock to our system is so great, it really reminds me of brain trauma, it affects us so deeply it's hard to adjust, but our bodies were made with great resilience and little by little we do begin to adjust to the changes it means for our lives.  They are never forgotten and we continue to miss them, but little by little instead of bringing pain when we think of them, it can sometimes bring a smile or comforting thought...how long that takes I cannot say for it is different for all of us.  So many things affect it, our personal coping mechanisms, the grief work we put in, our personality, heck, even our placement in the family probably factors in!  Point being, it won't stay in the original intensity forever, no one could handle that!

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steve76020

what seems to be hard for me is just 2 months ago at lunch and dinner time we got 5 little bowls ready for their meals then little more than a month ago, oct 4th it became 4 bowls and  now as of the other day 18th nov its 3 its so strange after doing a routine for over 10 years to suddenly change it.. so strange

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KayC

I hate these changes.  Still miss my little Miss Mocha, can't believe 2 1/2 years have passed.  It's weird how time goes on even when our heart doesn't.

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steve76020

almost 3 months and jack is still in my heart and on my mind. our female chi-pom died a month after jack from what appeared to be the same thing poor girl. my heart aches for these to loving little dogs who only loved and wanted love they will always have a home in my heart jack, i miss you. 

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AJWCat

I understand. :( My cat we lost almost a year and half ago has been on my mind. They never go away, the grief subsides thank God, but the memories - happy and sad never leave, and I am okay with that. 

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KayC

Yes, I know the pain, it seems to take way too long to subside, but eventually it becomes more tolerable and believe it or not, with enough time we are able to look back on the memories with a smile and remember the good, although still missing them.

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steve76020

Well it's over 4 months since my jack passed away and it still hurts like it was yesterday. I think of him most days a couple of times a day and wonder if I could have done anything to save him I'm so sorry I feel like I let him down I was responsible for keeping him safe and happy and he died and I cannot do a thing about it. Life sucks

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KayC

I don't see it as you let him down...there are some things beyond our control to alleviate and I think this was one of those situations.  You got him help, they just couldn't save him...I have lost so many, my husband, my parents, many dogs and cats, yet I can't be held responsible for their deaths, much as we love them, we can't always stop it from happening.

I wish you only peace and healing, I know it hurts.

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steve76020

5 plus months since jack passed I love him so much and miss him badly. he was a good dog and is surely missed alot. jack I will always love my little black dog jack..  love dad

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AJWCat

I get it. I had a wave of sadness hit me the other day about our cat. A big wave. And I noticed it was exactly one year and 8 months, basically to the day. So, it's understandable you are still sad. I will never forget the cat we lost, I can barely think about the last hours otherwise I will completely spiral into a dark place. Try to remember the good times. 

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Beatriz

@steve76020 @AJWCat @KayC Hello just wanted to say I am a year and a year and five months grieving for my two cats Preta and Tripps and still finding it terribly painful, living with the pain and not a bit wiser concerning all the questions that their loss raised, particularly that of WHY they both had to suffer, since their suffering obviously and even according to C S Lewis, serves no purpose whatsoever - how could they be ‘improved’ when they were so perfect in love - you do not have to answer that. I am so sorry for all your losses and grateful to be able to read you and relate. 

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KayC

I long ago quit asking why, I never got an answer.  I don't know there is a why or reason, doesn't make sense to me.

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Beatriz

Thank you, Kay and for your honesty. Means everything to me.

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steve76020

7 months and I'm still trying to get over the shock of losing my little jack, I guess I always thought he would outlive me but that wouldnt have been fair because he needed me to provide so he could survive and he provided me with unconditional love which kept me going. I miss you jack I always will, and I love you my little dog more than you can know. your brother buddy misses you severely and pines for you he hasn't been the same since you passed away , love dad

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KayC

I agree, I wouldn't want to outlive my Arlie, I couldn't bare his pain and confusion at my not being there for him...better I should go through it than him, although I have no idea how I'll get through it, I imagine the same way I did when my husband died, and that was hell.  

I know your pain continues and for that I am truly sorry.  I wish it could lessen.  Perhaps in time.  I know you'll always miss Jack.  I've lost so many, I've adjusted as much as I can, but...the love and missing them continues.

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steve76020

8 months and jack is still on my mind. did I do him an injustice having the vet put him down after telling me there was no help to be had for him. should i have tried and let him suffer a little longer or was i right to put him out of his suffering. this haunts me every day of my life since

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steve76020

I'm so sorry jack I hope you forgive me I love you...

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