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My jack went to heaven today


steve76020

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My little min pin dog was put downtoday. I awoke to him having problems breathing he was panting like crazy. We took him to vet where he had a bad episode and they rushed him back and said he wasn't getting oxygen which was effecting his heart. When they were finally able to get an xray they called and said his heart was so enlarged it didn't leave room for him to breathe and nothing could be done after informing me they were closing and I didn't have time to get there and them acting like they would euthanize him and take him out like yesterday's garbage I was crying so badly I couldn't talk anyway they put him down I feel as tho I was rushed into this and I'm heart broken over the loss of a constant companion of 14 years. How do I get thru this?it hurts so bad

 

 

 

 

 

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Jack Russell

How awful for you to have lost Jack so quickly like that, you must still be processing the loss and shock of it all.  What heartless vets to tell you that and then shut for the day.  Did they have your permission to euthanism him? sounds like they didn't even discuss the options with you which sounds wrong and maybe even legally wrong. I know what it's like and the unbearable pain of loosing your beloved companion after so many years. Of course it hurts and you have hours of pain to come unfortunately.  I still cry for the loss of my beautiful little dog and she was euthanised on 19th June but the pain is not so raw.  You will get through this.  Read articles which KayC has posted in previous articles to help you. We are all here to help you.  When you can tell us more about Jack and what happened. Thinking of you.

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I am so sorry, they should have stayed open late and let you get there.  I'm sorry you're without your best friend now and hurting so badly.  In my opinion, the only option was for him to be euthanized asap being as he was unable to breathe.  I watched my own father in a hospital unable to breathe, then he had another heart attack and died after I left, it was extremely uncomfortable for him.  My husband died of a heart attack, the way he never wanted to go.  Sometimes things are just so unfair, I'm glad we have the option of being able to take away our pet's misery but that's when ours begins.  Like Jack Russell said, after time it's not so raw, but it takes time to get to that point.

He will never be yesterday's garbage to you.  I hope you were able to get him cremated so you can get his ashes back, or be able to bury his body at your place, I think it helps to know they're home.  I lost my cat of 10 1/2 years (I don't know how old she was, she showed up at my place as a full grown adult) and never got closure as I don't know where her body is, that was over 2 years ago and it bothers me I have nothing to bury.  I suspect a cougar but don't know for certain.  I bought her a memorial stone and placed it where my other pets are buried, she deserved being laid to rest with the others.

I realize these articles will take a while to read, but I think you might find them helpful, so maybe if you tackle one a day...

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/09/pet-euthanasia-when-is-it-time-to-say.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/04/pet-loss-guilt-in-wake-of-euthanasia.html
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2018/06/pet-loss-supporting-your-grieving-pet.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201703/my-pet-died-and-i-cant-stop-crying

http://www.griefhealing.com/memorializing.htm

 

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yes they discussed it with me and my wife was with him and she said he passed out and lost control before and they assured me he couldnt be helped yesterday it seemed so surreal like a dream, they told me his suffering would be over they were compassionate it just happened so fast i had no time to grasp it and process it. he is not struggling to breathe or having his coughing spells but i miss him so morning time was jack time he loved being loved on in the mornings and to wake up to that horror and the look of panic on his little face was so hard for me and being helpless i didnt begin to know what to do. thank you all for your kind words and i will have his ashes so he will forever be with me till we meet at the rainbow bridge

1 hour ago, KayC said:

I am so sorry, they should have stayed open late and let you get there.  I'm sorry you're without your best friend now and hurting so badly.  In my opinion, the only option was for him to be euthanized asap being as he was unable to breathe.  I watched my own father in a hospital unable to breathe, then he had another heart attack and died after I left, it was extremely uncomfortable for him.  My husband died of a heart attack, the way he never wanted to go.  Sometimes things are just so unfair, I'm glad we have the option of being able to take away our pet's misery but that's when ours begins.  Like Jack Russell said, after time it's not so raw, but it takes time to get to that point.

He will never be yesterday's garbage to you.  I hope you were able to get him cremated so you can get his ashes back, or be able to bury his body at your place, I think it helps to know they're home.  I lost my cat of 10 1/2 years (I don't know how old she was, she showed up at my place as a full grown adult) and never got closure as I don't know where her body is, that was over 2 years ago and it bothers me I have nothing to bury.  I suspect a cougar but don't know for certain.  I bought her a memorial stone and placed it where my other pets are buried, she deserved being laid to rest with the others.

I realize these articles will take a while to read, but I think you might find them helpful, so maybe if you tackle one a day...

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/09/pet-euthanasia-when-is-it-time-to-say.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/04/pet-loss-guilt-in-wake-of-euthanasia.html
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2018/06/pet-loss-supporting-your-grieving-pet.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201703/my-pet-died-and-i-cant-stop-crying

http://www.griefhealing.com/memorializing.htm

 

 

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On 10/4/2018 at 2:51 PM, steve76020 said:

My little min pin dog was put downtoday. I awoke to him having problems breathing he was panting like crazy. We took him to vet where he had a bad episode and they rushed him back and said he wasn't getting oxygen which was effecting his heart. When they were finally able to get an xray they called and said his heart was so enlarged it didn't leave room for him to breathe and nothing could be done after informing me they were closing and I didn't have time to get there and them acting like they would euthanize him and take him out like yesterday's garbage I was crying so badly I couldn't talk anyway they put him down I feel as tho I was rushed into this and I'm heart broken over the loss of a constant companion of 14 years. How do I get thru this?it hurts so bad

 

 

 

 

 

its such an unfair world when our companions are snatched away by god, especially when we are old and it wouldnt be fair to another animal to bring him into your home because he would outlive you and then they would be alone

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I can't imagine not having a dog in my life, do you have a close friend or family member that would take your dog in if something happened to you and you had another one?  A friend of mine has made such arrangements when he decided at age 75 to adopt a puppy. 

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i have in our house so i shouldnt say i have this is their house also, four other dogs all small tweenie weenies except for the one female whom is half chihuahua half pomeranian  shes a beauty, the youngest of all of them is 11 to 12 years old. all but one is a rescue yet we have had 2 from puppies and the other two were gotten when they were approx 13 to 18 months old. they are grieving with me also. my sister has a half english bulldog half boxer it looks like, puppy about 12 weeks old and i discussed with my wife adding him to the pack but she talked me out of it as we have still got the four to look after even tho jack has moved on.. im now having feelings of guilt as well and i dont feel im worthy to have a young new addition to our family.. im 63 and my wife is 69 so we arent spring chickens and getting a pup would be unfair to the pup as walking alot and lots of playing with is out of the question as we both have problems with our hips the pup deserves a little boy to grow up with not an old man.

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although eventually i might be open to adopting an older dog to give a good loving forever home to comfortably finish their life being loved and cared for..

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@steve76020 Hello, Steve and I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it always seems so unfair to us that we must outlive them and face their unbearable absence from our lives when they were such a Presence and brought us so much love and joy in exchange for actually very little besides our deepest love. But all life comes to an end, it is the love that goes on regardless of death. You obviously love animals and I don’t agree with you when you say your age and hip problems disqualify you from adopting - I think dogs of any age deserve the love you have to give. I do not think they would mind if you are not up to playing as much as a young boy would, they would take you as you are and love you back regardless! I also grew older with my beloved cats who were with me for almost 18 and 18 years and I do miss them so much. I understand your concern over being there for them and you will! Do not give up adopting if you have the love many abandoned dogs who live in hardship so desperately need. 

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Steve, I've thought of doing the same, I don't want things to change between me and my dog, Arlie, and adding another one would do that, but I very nearly adopted an 8 year old a week ago, I was very tempted.  If I had a pack of dogs one more wouldn't change a lot I don't think, but Arlie is used to it being me and him and I have Kitty, we're a family and it's going to be hard when I lose either one, I already lost Miss Mocha, that was hard enough.

I walk Arlie twice a day every day, without fail, and enjoy playing with him but it's shorter periods now that he's older than when he was a pup, I hear ya, I don't have the energy level I did ten years ago (I'm 66)!

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well its been 4 days since jack left to go to that place in the sky and i must say it still hurts so bad, i miss him even with my 4 other dogs, jack was my special needs fella he was emotional and fragile and needed a little extra attention which i didnt mind giving because his love was so worth it. jack was finicky when it came to his food he would always eat but he made me work and sweat to make that happen. he was such a knucklehead. This pain is almost unbearable i really have to work to get through.

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i pray jack doesnt hold it against me that i was too much of a coward to force the vet to wait for me and he had to move on without me with him, i just couldnt bear to be there so i accepted the vets excuse they were closing but would take care of him first.. im such a bastard since i loved him so much and wasnt with him... i know he knows how painfull it was for me to lose him and i didnt want to be so selfish as to prolong his suffering so i could have closure that would be horrible i just wanted him to not suffer anymore and now i feel so bad.

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Steve,

Have you considered it might have been easier on Jack to be able to focus on what was next for him without having to worry about you?  

When my husband was in the hospital dying of a heart attack (I am the one that notified the medical personnel that it was happening again), the nurse threw me off the ward and locked the door behind me.  I cried out, "But I am his little one!"  The pain was unbearable.  She heartlessly shoved me out and locked the door behind me, the next time I saw them coming, I knew what they had to say, he was dead.  Gone.  I didn't get to hold his hand while he crossed over.  I didn't get to assure him or just sit with him.  I was denied that.

For years it haunted me.  What was he thinking as he passed?  The pain his eyes showed was incredible, his pain was great, it also haunted me.  Then one day I thought about it in a different way, that maybe it made it easier for him to not have to worry about leaving me or what I was feeling, I didn't add to his pain and discomfort, he could be free to focus on getting through this and what was to come.

We were attached at the heart, he knows I love him, he knew it then, he knows it now.  So does your Jack.  Please don't beat yourself up for doing the kindest thing you could for him, you spared him tremendous pain and suffering, for that he thanks you.  You are selfless and giving, he was one lucky dog to have you instead of one of those owners that throws their dog in the back yard on a chain and never interacts, they're lucky to get food and water and not a sharp kick.  All of our dogs here (and cats, birds, etc.) are lucky, we are the ones that love our animals as the members of our family they are.  We would give our lives for them if only we could.

Last summer I was hiking with my son and his family, and we had our dogs with us.  My dog, Arlie, had never been on anything like this and had I known what it'd be like, I never would have taken him.  As we got closer to the top, the trail was washed away in part and there was a sheer drop down.  I remember thinking, if we fell, it'd be hard to get to us by helicopter because of the trees.  Arlie is a big boy, 110 lbs now, (he used to be 140), and he has anxiety.  When he gets in panic mode, he can't hear you.  Somehow he got turned around on the washed out path and I was trying to guide him back and he couldn't hear me for his panic.  His feet slipped off the trail.  Now I am an old lady, all of 5', and I don't know how I did it, but without thinking, there was no time for that, I instinctively reached out and grabbed him and pulled him back on the trail.  My son saw this from behind and I think he turned every shade of white and his heart stopped.  Later he told me, "Next time, cut the dog loose."  I said, "Never!  He is my baby, I would go with him.  I couldn't bear for him to be injured and dying all alone at the bottom of a canyon, at least I'd want to be there to comfort him."  And I knew my son would do the same for his dog too, but it was just hard to witness his mother's close call.

We all love our babies.  They are the world to us!  And when they are gone, it is the most excruciating pain in the world.  This grief that has become my constant companion, that I no longer live without, it carries great sorrow.  But I also know we can bear it, I have, for many years.  Death is part of life, the part we don't think about, the part we abhor, the part that is so hard to get used to.

You were wonderful to your dog, remember that, and be easy on yourself.  You will join with him again someday, for now he is at peace and happy.  He wouldn't want you to beat yourself up, he loves you still.

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I hope he understands where I'm coming from and the fact that I will join him is what keeps me going. I cannot wait till all my little guys and I are together in heaven we will have eternity together without sickness or being tired or in pain so we will be able to play constantly.

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today is such a gloomy day it looks exactly how i feel. i miss my boy each and every day, i try to focus on loving my other dogs but its so hard jack was the one member of our pack that needed support and love each and every day. he was happy when he was happy and so sad when he wasnt, i let him down i feel but like a reply said maybe it helped him not worrying about his dad crying like a baby, i just hate that a family member wasnt with him when he crossed over i swear this will never happen again i will be strong for them period.. i love you jack

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20 hours ago, steve76020 said:

maybe it helped him not worrying about his dad crying like a baby,

Hang on to that thought.
 

 

20 hours ago, steve76020 said:

i just hate that a family member wasnt with him when he crossed over

I understand.  Just keep in mind that those are your feelings and feelings aren't always fact based, nor are they necessarily their feelings.  
Hang in there and continue to be there for your other dogs, your Jack will be with you again.

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today is such a gloomy day it looks exactly how i feel. i miss my boy each and every day, i try to focus on loving my other dogs but its so hard jack was the one member of our pack that needed support and love each and every day. he was happy when he was happy and so sad when he wasnt, i let him down i feel but like a reply said maybe it helped him not worrying about his dad crying like a baby, i just hate that a family member wasnt with him when he crossed over i swear this will never happen again i will be strong for them period.. i love you jack

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kay you are such a kind person to try so very hard to make someone you dont even know feel better about the loss of their loved pet or was i his pet i guess its in how you look at it to answer that question anyway jack was sick he had a heart murmur and congestive heart failure just like my sister did and she passed away one night in her sleep so very unexpectadly and when i woke and jack was panting i really didnt expect this to be the one, as he has had these spells many times before but always came thru them with flying colors this time we took him to the vet cause he looked so very distressed and at the vet he passed out and soiled himself with his tongue turning blue, thats when i panicked and knew this one was very serious. when i got back there to see him he couldnt even accknowledge me he looked so worried and so very tired and worn out, i just wanted him better which didnt happen. they said they couldnt help him and my lord i wanted him out of pain and unafraid , at peace if you will. i will never forget him ever and as soon as i pass i will begin my search to reunite with the little guy. but thank you for all your kind words they have helped

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Somehow I think they will find us when we get there, they'll be on the lookout.  

Panting can be an indicator they're in pain, I think you did the right thing, you thought of him first, and didn't want him to suffer, that's selfless...now the price for our loving them is our grief and I'll gladly bear it being as it meant I had the greatest love gift ever in my life.

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@steve76020 I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Jack. What an awful, shocking way to lose him like that, my heart breaks for you. 

I lost my cat we had for 10 years, very suddenly to something (poison they thought) and he was violently ill... an hour later we were at an emergency vet putting him out of his suffering and he was suffering. It took my husband and I few months to grieve and to reach anything that looked like peace and acceptance. I was sad, mad, and basically heartbroken. 

I wish I could ease your pain. I have been right where you are and the world looks very very dark. I was very sad and depressed for a while. Eventually I'd have an okay day and then get hit by tidal wave of sadness. Grief is unpredictable.

All that said, you will heal. It just takes time. Keep coming here and writing. I did, it was the only place I could come and vent and express my emotions. 

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kay you are such a kind person to try so very hard to make someone you dont even know feel better about the loss of their loved pet or was i his pet i guess its in how you look at it to answer that question anyway jack was sick he had a heart murmur and congestive heart failure just like my sister did and she passed away one night in her sleep so very unexpectadly and when i woke and jack was panting i really didnt expect this to be the one, as he has had these spells many times before but always came thru them with flying colors this time we took him to the vet cause he looked so very distressed and at the vet he passed out and soiled himself with his tongue turning blue, thats when i panicked and knew this one was very serious. when i got back there to see him he couldnt even accknowledge me he looked so worried and so very tired and worn out, i just wanted him better which didnt happen. they said they couldnt help him and my lord i wanted him out of pain and unafraid , at peace if you will. i will never forget him ever and as soon as i pass i will begin my search to reunite with the little guy. but thank you for all your kind words they have helped

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today is 21 days and i still think of my little guy each and every day every hour practically every minute. with my being retired and disabled he was next to me almost 24/7 and you can tell. ive been giving my other dogs a little more love and attention and as corney as it sounds they know jack is missing from the picture. jack where ever you are wait for me and i will scratch your neck and ears again.. viya condios mi amigo. love always papa

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Steve76020 I am sorry you are suffering such pain.  I have been reading your posts and felt I must respond as I know the pain so well.  My little dog of 16 passed in June and I am still thinking of her every day.  I have days where I don't cry now but my heart is still so very heavy.  The love of our pets is as precious as they are.  We are blessed though to feel such love, but unfortunately it comes at a painful cost.  I am glad you have your other dogs to keep you funtioning as they need you.  Jack will wait for you as I know my little Kelly is waiting for me and we shall all be reunited.  God bless you, and may he help you with your loss x x

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So sad reading Day 21 @steve76020 :( I remember that milestone really well. 21 days - it's a long time to be so devastatingly sad. I know after we lost our cat I had never been so unhappy for so long. Thank God by then the pain lessens a bit. But it is still tough. My heart goes out to you. I am glad you have your other dogs. My husband and I had only our one cat and it was horribly lonely. 

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21 hours ago, steve76020 said:

jack where ever you are wait for me and i will scratch your neck and ears again

I believe they are aware and we will be with them again.  They are in a happy place and I console myself with that...the pain we carry is ours alone to bear and I'm thankful they no longer suffer.

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It heals to a point, the rest we live with.  Little by little we adjust to the changes it means for our lives.  Instead of the stabbing pain we are left with a kind of void where they used to reside, like a sadness we carry inside of us.  Always missing them.  But we do adjust and learn to live with it.  We carry on with our lives, do our jobs, meet with friends, can smile and laugh, but inside...this is always there.  That's why I say I coexist with my grief.  It's my companion now.

I lost my precious granddoggy over five years ago.  I still miss him.  I will miss him the rest of my life.  He was the most precious sweet guileless dog I've ever known.  He lived with me half his life.  And he loved his grandma!  He was simple, like a Down's Syndrome child, very very sweet, more so than any dog I've met.  Hard to put into words, but if you knew him, you'd know what I was talking about, and nothing changes how I feel about him, no amount of time, nor the fact he's buried in my back yard.  My dog loved him too.  If I play a video of Skye making his noises (he's Husky), Arlie hears him and runs to the patio door, looking for him.  That breaks my heart, that my little boy (dog) doesn't realize Skye is dead and is never coming back.

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well jack went oct 4th and now our little honey our little female chipom went today 11/18 she passed this am on the way to an emergency vet she went eerily like my jack panting and struggling to breath she also had congestive heart failure too.. shes with jack now bless her little heart my wife and i are getting hit with our babies dying and its not any fun, honey is my neices dog but she felt like my child as well. i suppose its what happens when you get dogs near the same time and then 10 plus years pass. honey we will see you in heaven

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So sad But Yet So Happy

Steve76020,

                  Truly my heart goes out to you. I realize that the wounds are still fresh and to have this happen to you again. My God, i truly cant imagine. When i first came to this board about a week ago it felt like i was the only one that was truly, truly in pain. A pain that could never be reckoned with, or coped with. After reading what you wrote Sir, i was so wrong. The healing does start right away but its in so small amounts it doesnt really add up to anything significant for awhile. I know words right now cant really satisfy you but know that their is a community that stands beside you with always an ear to lend, a shoulder to cry on or a keyboard that will answer and talk with you about your loss. God Bless you and your family in their time on need and know that its true, writing about it when you can does really help. God Bless You and yours.     Jim

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On 11/4/2018 at 9:21 AM, KayC said:

It heals to a point, the rest we live with. 

I love this KayC... this is it. Like a scar right? (And. oh sweet Arlie! What a love.) 

@steve76020 I am so sorry that you are going through this again. That is awful. Years ago I had two cats and when I lost the first (they were siblings) I was so so sad but having my other cat helped so much and she didn't go until over a year later. My heart goes out to you. These loses are profound.  

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Steve 76020 I lost my precious Kelly on 19 June and when I got into the car from work today I just screamed and cried all the way home. It comes in waves. It still hurts but I am coping with the knowledge of her untimely death at the hands of others.  But I do now do other things but she comes into mind constantly. It will get easier it just takes time.  I am so sorry you are going through this pain, we have all experienced the intense pain of loosing our best friends and companions. It just wasn't Kellys time and I never expected her to loose her life this way which has made it harder. But all of us here know your pain. We are thinking of you x

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June 19 was my husband's death day.  You are so right, it does take time to make our way through this.  In the beginning the shock to our system is so great, it really reminds me of brain trauma, it affects us so deeply it's hard to adjust, but our bodies were made with great resilience and little by little we do begin to adjust to the changes it means for our lives.  They are never forgotten and we continue to miss them, but little by little instead of bringing pain when we think of them, it can sometimes bring a smile or comforting thought...how long that takes I cannot say for it is different for all of us.  So many things affect it, our personal coping mechanisms, the grief work we put in, our personality, heck, even our placement in the family probably factors in!  Point being, it won't stay in the original intensity forever, no one could handle that!

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what seems to be hard for me is just 2 months ago at lunch and dinner time we got 5 little bowls ready for their meals then little more than a month ago, oct 4th it became 4 bowls and  now as of the other day 18th nov its 3 its so strange after doing a routine for over 10 years to suddenly change it.. so strange

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almost 3 months and jack is still in my heart and on my mind. our female chi-pom died a month after jack from what appeared to be the same thing poor girl. my heart aches for these to loving little dogs who only loved and wanted love they will always have a home in my heart jack, i miss you. 

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I understand. :( My cat we lost almost a year and half ago has been on my mind. They never go away, the grief subsides thank God, but the memories - happy and sad never leave, and I am okay with that. 

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Yes, I know the pain, it seems to take way too long to subside, but eventually it becomes more tolerable and believe it or not, with enough time we are able to look back on the memories with a smile and remember the good, although still missing them.

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Well it's over 4 months since my jack passed away and it still hurts like it was yesterday. I think of him most days a couple of times a day and wonder if I could have done anything to save him I'm so sorry I feel like I let him down I was responsible for keeping him safe and happy and he died and I cannot do a thing about it. Life sucks

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I don't see it as you let him down...there are some things beyond our control to alleviate and I think this was one of those situations.  You got him help, they just couldn't save him...I have lost so many, my husband, my parents, many dogs and cats, yet I can't be held responsible for their deaths, much as we love them, we can't always stop it from happening.

I wish you only peace and healing, I know it hurts.

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5 plus months since jack passed I love him so much and miss him badly. he was a good dog and is surely missed alot. jack I will always love my little black dog jack..  love dad

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I get it. I had a wave of sadness hit me the other day about our cat. A big wave. And I noticed it was exactly one year and 8 months, basically to the day. So, it's understandable you are still sad. I will never forget the cat we lost, I can barely think about the last hours otherwise I will completely spiral into a dark place. Try to remember the good times. 

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@steve76020 @AJWCat @KayC Hello just wanted to say I am a year and a year and five months grieving for my two cats Preta and Tripps and still finding it terribly painful, living with the pain and not a bit wiser concerning all the questions that their loss raised, particularly that of WHY they both had to suffer, since their suffering obviously and even according to C S Lewis, serves no purpose whatsoever - how could they be ‘improved’ when they were so perfect in love - you do not have to answer that. I am so sorry for all your losses and grateful to be able to read you and relate. 

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steve76020

7 months and I'm still trying to get over the shock of losing my little jack, I guess I always thought he would outlive me but that wouldnt have been fair because he needed me to provide so he could survive and he provided me with unconditional love which kept me going. I miss you jack I always will, and I love you my little dog more than you can know. your brother buddy misses you severely and pines for you he hasn't been the same since you passed away , love dad

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I agree, I wouldn't want to outlive my Arlie, I couldn't bare his pain and confusion at my not being there for him...better I should go through it than him, although I have no idea how I'll get through it, I imagine the same way I did when my husband died, and that was hell.  

I know your pain continues and for that I am truly sorry.  I wish it could lessen.  Perhaps in time.  I know you'll always miss Jack.  I've lost so many, I've adjusted as much as I can, but...the love and missing them continues.

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steve76020

8 months and jack is still on my mind. did I do him an injustice having the vet put him down after telling me there was no help to be had for him. should i have tried and let him suffer a little longer or was i right to put him out of his suffering. this haunts me every day of my life since

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