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Acute Renal Failure


Liz4daze

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My 8 yr old Chihuahua mix was lethargic on Monday and vomiting through the night. We took him to the vet Tuesday morning and by Wednesday at 3 AM it was confirmed his kidneys stopped producing urine all together. The first vet seemed to believe he got into something toxic, and the second vet who put him down said sometimes there are triggers, and it happens for whatever reason. I feel like the first vet blamed us and now I am confused and incredibly guilty. 

I have been a wreck trying to think what could have caused it. On Friday night my friend spilled a small amount of food on the floor, stuffed peppers with beef and some raisins (probably just a few raisins in the entire pepper that spilled) and picked up the small amount of beef he said spilled but I still can’t help but wonder if the dog got a raisin or two and if this was enough to shut down the kidneys. I feel sick, like I could have prevented this. Especially because we noticed on Monday he wasnt feeling well. Also on Sunday I gave him a few pieces of cured meat he was begging for, then realized it probably wasn’t good for him with all the salt. The vet did said the meat most likely didn’t cause the kidneys to shut down. 

Sherman was my baby, he was feisty and full of life. I want to know what caused it, and I can’t help but blame myself. We both agreed there were other signs over the last week of his life (lethargic on our road trip and wouldn’t pee a few times) and though my mom and friends are telling me it’s not my fault, and that sometimes bodies fail for no reason, I still have this gut feeling somehow I neglected him and neglected to help him in time. 

I also feel like the vet hospital moved too slow in treating him, but they also said they found a heart murmur (news to us, we took him to Banfield for yearly exams and it never came up) so they were cautious to give him fluids and waited until later in the afternoon to start treatment. I know they were doing their job right but I still feel like blaming something - them, me, anything to make sense of it. 

I don’t know what I am looking for by posting in this forum. I imagine it’s someone to tell me it’s not my fault and that his death was natural and it was his time. I miss him so much, a piece of me is missing forever. :( 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I am currently going through the same feelings. It can be so sudden, and we're left wondering what went wrong. You loved him very much and did everything you could to try and help him. He was very lucky to have you in his life.

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I am terribly sorry for your loss. One of my cats died of kidney disease. He was in treatment for a few months with fluids before and his condition monitored regularly. As I understand it, there is no cure and the disease is progressive, regardles of early diagnosis. I really doubt that the food you mentioned he took played any part on it or agravatted his condition. There is nausea and lack of appetite associated with kidney disease so their diet becomes more flexible and the priority is to make them eat. Your feelings of guilty are normal and reviewing the course of events that led to your beloved dog’s death is the result of justified trauma - I know how much it does hurt to lose them and yes, a huge part of us goes as well. My heart goes out to you. We are here for you, write, we do understand.

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@Liz4daze

There's no way the vet could blame you.  Sometimes we don't get answers, their body just gives out, that doesn't mean you did anything wrong.  You would have done anything you could, we just don't always get options, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Please read these articles, they do a better job putting into words what I know to be true:
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

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Thank you all, 

My mom and partner think I may need to see a grieving counselor. I am starting to become obsessive, reading online, reading this forum, constantly crying and every single thing reminds me of him. I still can’t help thinking about it and talking about it. A lot. Almost every thing I say! My partner is getting frustrated, we have fought a little bit because we are both snappy and I am hindering their ability to grieve and move on. I know my emotional distress is high and unhealthy. I know the right thing to do would be to practice self care. In the meantime, I do appreciate the loving support. 

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@Liz4daze Forgive me but I do not understand how you can possibly hinder your partner’s and your mother’s grieving with your own. What you describe as obsessive may as well be so but it is also textbook behaviour for grieving. I’ve been doing all these things myself for months and I believe most of us here find ourselves going through the same outpour of emotions. To me, and considering how much I have lost with the deaths of both my cats, this is the right thing to do. When I first came here, I did not know that I was not the only one to experience such excruciating pain and wonder if I would survive. I will never forget the first kind responses I had from people here validated my sentiments and reassured me I was not alone in going through it. I want to convey the same to you: you are not alone feeling and behaving the way you do. I understand other people may find themselves uncomfortable and inconvenienced by it but then that is their problem, not yours. Give yourself the space, please. Those who love you will respect that and back off. Only you know how much your beloved dog means to you and how much you, with just cause, miss him. 

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I agree with Beatriz, your response is classic grief response and you shouldn't have to concern yourself with what other people think and how they react in addition to what you're already dealing with!  For anyone to deny you your grief is inappropriate of them!  It takes much time to make our way through grief, it has a beginning but no ending, although it doesn't stay the same forever, it evolves and eventually we adjust, but you are by no means past that time when one would consider this unhealthy!  It may help you to find a pet grief counselor, that is, one who specializes in loss of pet.  Meanwhile, keep coming here!  it helps so much to have our feelings validated and know we are not alone in this.  Do they think that because it's a pet that it's of any less value?  To many of us, our pets are the most important ones in our lives!  They are a valued family member that we are close to, and they are loving and loyal, sometimes more so than humans!

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-attachment/201703/my-pet-died-and-i-cant-stop-crying
http://www.griefhealingblog.com/p/pet-loss-articles.html

http://www.griefhealing.com/pet-loss-counseling.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/02/pet-loss-disenfranchised-grief.html (disenfranchised grief is grief society doesn't recognize as it should, often leaving us feeling our grief is unvalidated)

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Thank you so much,

Yesterday was one of the first rainy days of fall and it started to downpour. I decided to go stand out in it, and it started to downpour sheets of heavy warm raindrops. I cried and let it rain on my face. The sun was behind grey clouds making the sky bright. Something spiritual happened, a divine moment with just me and the universe, alone in my backyard. I honestly believe for the time I was outside the Heaven’s opened, angels cried and I suddenly knew without a doubt that Shermy was welcomed to his next destination and he is at peace and happy. It was like I was seeing “the light”, I had to open my eyes and rebalance for a second because I was so connected to this moment I thought maybe I died! I can’t exactly explain it but a lot of the heaving grief was washed away in that moment. I’m still sad and in shock, mornings and nights are hard. I have one sensitive cat who loved the dog that needs me to be strong and one wise old grumpy cat who tolerated the dog and he has been very honed in on my emotions and has come to comfort me and give me strength when I need it. 

I have found his forum to be helpful in so many ways and I truly appreciate the support and positive confirmations. It’s comforting to know there are others who understand the deep and dark corners of greif and want to help. Thank you so much for helping me make sense of my feelings and the situation, and for offering an ear. I look forward to being in a place eventually where I can help someone else in the same way. 

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It sounds like a truly special moment, and I'm glad you had that.  I had to smile at 

20 hours ago, Liz4daze said:

one wise old grumpy cat who tolerated the dog

because you're describing my cat, Kitty.  I don't think she could ever have a real relationship with a dog, she was without one in her life the first ten years, she terrorized my earlier dog, Lucky, and the first 1 2/3 years I had Arlie (dog) she wouldn't come in the house, but she finally did and decided to share the house with him, but she was in charge, she let it be known!  Arlie got to 140 lbs, but that little 9 lb cat was in charge.

 

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Totally understand what you are going through. We were at a vacation house for the summer and my cat got violently ill so we rushed him to emergency and after trying to save him they couldn't and we oped to put him to sleep to end his suffering. It was awful, and they said it seemed like a poisoning. We have no idea how or what. Never found anything. I became totally obsessed going crazy trying to figure out what happened or maybe it was organ failure (he was old, 15) and the guilt was out of control.

I've come to accept I will never know for sure but like your dog had issues, my cat was losing a lot of weight so who really knows? People who seem healthy suddenly die out of the blue too. Life is just unpredictable. :( 

I was totally heartbroken but came to accept and deal with what happened. I miss my cat so much still but I know we did the best we could and you did too. 

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93426593_703534373788406_1416047251452592128_n.jpg.4c6d853119dc381bbe659195ac734968.jpgI lost my Dalmatian son Vincent so suddenly on the 19th of april 2020. My biggest fear was that I die and he would have no one. I never expected him to leave that night. He got sick the night before, and i had two vets see him. One was an awful human being and the other truly cared. They said he was constipated and needed laxatives but how he looked and felt was like no any other time. My cat slept by his head for the first time purring. I watched him in severe pain for 24 hours until he breathed his soul out into me. Turns out he had severe kidney failure. I am devastated, empty, broken and i am praying to join him. Could it be his diet or my choices that caused this illness? I didn't believe my vet when he said it was genetic cos i think he didn't want me to feel guilty. His well being was my responsibility, We were always together even at work. Maybe I should have gotten the blood test sooner. Please tell me if you think he is happy, and if he forgives me for being so helpless, if there was anything i could have done differently, if i could have saved him had we tested him sooner. Will we reunite when I pass? I feel his presence now, but I need to know what you think is going on with him now. Thank you

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I am so sorry for your loss.  On Christmas my 25 year old Kitty showed her first signs of being sick.  She was always cantankerous so I hadn't noticed a change in her disposition although my son had brought me a puppy Dec. 10...she was terrible to the puppy even though he'd never bothered her.  If he even looked at her from several feet away she put up a stink.  Now I wonder how much of that was her not feeling well and no tolerance at the time for such a change in the household.  I'd put him to bed at 8 and then spend one on one time with her.  She stopped eating off and on, but when she turned down her Easy Cheese (which she had an addiction to), I knew something was really wrong.  She was peeing more.  I feared Kidney failure.  She'd lost half her weight, 4 1/2 lbs. down from 9.  She had her ups and downs and then it was just downs, I took her in Jan. 6 and they said her kidneys and liver were in failure and nothing they could do.  Little Kitty who I'd thought would live forever, it was time for her struggle to be over and she died peacefully in my arms.

Kidney failure can happen to any of us or our pets, there's no coming back from it, it's untreatable at that point.  It seems to go downhill fast.  Yes I think they are happy and not suffering anymore.  They don't blame us for what they went through so no forgiveness needed.  This isn't your fault, with your obvious love for your dog, I bet you were the best dad their was.  I lost my beloved soulmate in a dog, Arlie, August 16.  I loved him more than life itself, but at the time he was diagnosed with cancer, it'd spread throughout, lymphoma, plus an inoperable tumor where all the crucial organs are.  I gave him hospice for two months ten days before ending his suffering.  (See Living with Loss).  It was the hardest thing in the world.  He was Husky/Golden Retriever, and huge.  My beautiful, sweet, intelligent, wild-eyed, goofy dog, I will always love and miss him.

In the days that followed, I did all of the coulda/wouldas that we all do in early grief.  We wonder if we euthanized too soon, too late.  We wonder if what we fed them brought it on.  We'd trade the rest of our life for one more day with them.  On and on it goes.  We have to work at being easier on ourselves, forgiving any shortcoming we felt, and know they love us and appreciate us and the life we gave them.  In my opinion, dogs are the most wonderful of all creation, loving, forgiving, don't expect much in return.  Oh that people could be half what they are!  Yes I believe wholeheartedly we'll be together again.  

When I laid eyes on Arlie's picture in the newspaper, I knew he was meant to be mine.  I saw his eagerness, his spirit, his bright eyes and erect ears, I knew I had to have him.  I adopted him that day.  I am so grateful for having had him in my life (see Memories of Arlie), getting to share 10 1/2 years with him (he was just under a year when I got him).  I wouldn't trader those years for anything.  In the back of my mind I always feared losing him or something happening to him.  I've had ten dogs, he was the one created for me.  Now I have Kodie, he's not Arlie, I love him, but one does not replace another, only adds to your life in their own way.  

 

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I am so sorry @JSWolfe for your loss of sweet Vincent. 

There is a difference between being "responsible" for our pets and harming them intentionally. We all do the best we can. My cat died because we took him to a vacation house and we think he got poisoned somehow. (We never found anything though as he was strictly indoor. And that is only what the vet claimed.) Still, I was devastated. But he was also 15 and had been losing weight. Like, you I had so many questions and guilt. 

It took me a long time to come to "peace" with his passing. And for me to forgive myself for what I thought I did wrong.

You loved Vincent and were with him at the end. I know it is of little comfort but it is something. In time, you will not feel how you do now. But it's a process that takes time. Please do yourself a favor and let yourself grieve as you deserve, without guilt. It's bad enough without the guilt. 

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Thank you all for your kind and comforting words. I am deeply grateful for you and I am so sorry for your great losses just the same. I lost my cat Fluffy to kidney failure just before he turned 15. That was last year in March. Vincent helped me through it. Now we are left just me and their sister kitty Jojo who will be 15 next month. I am terrified and lost and so broken. I don't think I will ever be able to bring in another dog and yet I have no idea why I am here without them. I pray we reunite with our most precious family. I lost so many people over the years, and made a conscious choice to be happy with my three furry children. Sometimes I wonder if my fear of dying and leaving them behind was the Universe's way of a harsh answer. But I return to my heart space where they now forever live. Thank you so much for loving our animals sons and daughters.

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Vincent was so beautiful! I know where you are. For me, life is not complete without a pet. I happen to be more cat owner though I love dogs so much too. I adopted a cat a few months after we lost our other one. It should have been happy but it was painful. Some people take a long time to make the decision to get another pet. Others jump in right away. 

No cat will ever replace the one we lost. But animals' unconditional love, their companionship and friendship, and innocence will forever have me with one.

Yeah it's scary. Loss is a part of love. I am a nervous wreck sometimes with my new kitty. 

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Thank you. They truly are the most incredible gifts to us. I have been meditating today, and being receptive to inspirations from Vincent, and I always believed that the body is just a physical manifestation of our consciousness and Vincent's spirit is massive and everywhere. The pain of not sharing everything anymore is unbearable, but I also know that we need to stay in alignment in order to receive them in physical and non-physical form. Much love to you and your amazing kitties. Now it is me and Jojo (gray female kitty). Fluffy (Male) transitioned last year. The three of them filled everything with love to each other and everyone else. May we contain that love always.

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23 hours ago, JSWolfe said:

I return to my heart space where they now forever live.

I love this statement.  I choose to believe we will be with them when our time comes.  If anyone knows anything different, please don't tell me!

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