I hate myself

[Hollergirl09]

I had China for 10 years. I begged for her for 6 months straight to my husband. He hates little dogs. Everyday I got a no, as I showed him multiple photos. Then finally one day, after seeing the price (around 1,000) he said "if I gwtvyiu this dog will you shut up?" "Of course!"

i exclaimed then he set a $300 budget on me: he didn't think I could find what I wanted at that price. I looked and looked. I fully believe in timing and everything happing for a reason. One day, my husband, a Marine, had received news he was to deploy again. Now he felt so bad for me he ok baby, get the dog you want. I found a news paper article (that's how long ago I got her!)  and found a lady a few towns away I couldn't prounouce selling maltipoo puppies for $350. We drove all the way to this city that I still can't pronounce to pick her up. When I walked in the room i actually thought China was in a different liter til the lady showed me. When China  walked up to me before the lady told me she was mine I knew I wanted her.  I brought China home. We had a fun life for a few months with her dad before he deployed and her pitbull brither ford  My husband tried to teach her to shake and sit and fetch. She would only sit. Lol while my husband was gone, her and our pit gave me the love I needed to survive. I had a hard time with my husband being gone and our dogs made it ok. Then. Our pit had to be put down bc of cancer. That took about two years for me to even talk about it without crying. Then we moved two more times. China  came with us for both. When I was alone. She was who I talked to. Who confronted me. When we went on vacation after 5 minutes I missed her. After living happily in California for two years which is where I wanted to be. We moved to Arkansas for better chances for my husband  After nearly 7 moths we moved into the home where his drinking got out of hand and he opened the door and my dog ran off 

[KayC]

Hating yourself does no good, have you called the local animal control?  Put up flyers with her picture on it?  Posted it on Facebook?  Talked to neighbors?

I don't really understand your last sentence...did he purposely cut her loose?  Why would you hate yourself, you couldn't have foreseen this?  It might be hard to forgive him but I reckon it needs done because bitterness will eat you alive.  Do whatever you can to try to get her back.  Did she have a chip?  If so, have you contacted the company?  How long ago has it been?  

I'm sorry for what you're going through, it's very hard when you don't know what became of an animal.  I lost my cat two years ago, but I believe it was a cougar that got her even though it was broad daylight.  I bought her a memorial stone, even though I didn't have a body to bury.  I know she never would have ran away, she was very happy here, and she was in great health, I'd had her 10 1/2 years and I miss her still.  Very hard when you don't have a definitive answer.  My heart goes out to you.

[AJWCat]

What a sad story on many levels, I hope you are okay it sounds like you are struggling and now this. Have you tried to find her? I hope you will do what you can. I am so sorry.