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At just 8 weeks, I lost my baby. I never thought I would get pregnant, and now, I just wish I still was..

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I am 21 years old, and yes I know that is young to start having children, but my pregnancy wasn't planned. I was so scared when I found out until I heard my baby's heart beat for the first time. I knew that I would to anything to keep that precious child safe, but what I didn't know is that was the first and only time that I would ever be able to hear my baby. At 8 weeks, I started bleeding, I called my doctor, they said a little blood was normal. The next day, I was still bleeding. I went to the emergency room, and they couldn't find a heartbeat. Because I am O- i had to get a shot. There is no worse feeling then knowing your body could've been the reason. I lost my baby, a week later I lost the love of my life because of the stress of the miscarriage. 2 weeks later I was forced to move away from the town I love, and the people I cared about because my mother found a job that paid more. Now I am stuck with no job, no friends, no family, and I feel so alone.. I can't afford the medication I know a doctor will give me for the way I feel, I can't afford counseling. my brother found out he was going to be a father the day after me, 2 days ago I had to go to the gender reveal and I couldn't even look at his girlfriend. I couldn't watch the people around that were so happy for them. I couldn't watch the kids running around playing. I felt invisible and I knew that I lost that happy. I can't eat, I can't sleep. It's been 2 months and everyone is going on with their life and I just feel like mine is coming to an end.. My birthday is Monday, and I don't even know if it is worth celebrating anymore.. I don't know if anything is worth it anymore.. I guess I wrote this so that I had it out of my head. I don't think it will help anyone, Hell it might just make you feel worse and if it does just know that I am truly sorry. i guess that I am just tired of pretending that I'm not falling apart. the truth is I am that person that always tries to make others happy, but nobody is there for me..

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Aaliyah’s Mom

I too know that feeling. God is going to bless you with your rainbow baby. I don’t knot know if you believe in God but you should pray to him and tell him how you feel. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and it devastated me and a year later God bless me with a baby girl. Then when my daughter was two years old I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Then my daughter pass away at the age of four. I’m telling you this because you are young and you never know what God has for you. Never give up hope!!!!!

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