Jump to content
New Members - Check Your Spam/Junk Folder for Confirmation Email ×

Missing my baby boy. Nine months and no one seems to remember.


Michaels Mom

Recommended Posts

  • Members
Michaels Mom

It astounds me when people ask me why I am crying.  It is like yesterday when I got that phone call.  How do any of us survive this?

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Members
Nicole-my grief journey

It really is astounding what others say to those of us with such heartbreak. I’m sad they did that to you and made you feel un-wittinessed or minimalized in your time of need. I get hurt by others minimalizations of my grief too. A friend told me I need to smile and move on from the recent loss of my mother. I replied, “don’t do that, don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t feel, my mothers funeral was three weeks ago and I am exactly where I need to be in my grieving”. I wasn’t mean to her when I replied. Just factual and standing up for myself. My grief is a testament to how much I loved and shared with her. I won’t change my grief process to appease others (especially ones that don’t understand). I will guide them on what I need and what to say and what not to say, because I know they mean well and don’t want to see me hurting, but there are some things people just shouldn’t say. You have every right to cry and grieve as much as you want, for as long as you want. For the rest of your life. The last thing you or any of us should do is stuff it down and stop sharing. It’s detrimental to hold it in. We survive by talking, sharing, feeling, being witnessed and at a certain point; saying to ourselves “ I choose to live”. We are still her for a reason. My guess is to help others. You lost the one you loved the most. A large part of you, connected to every cell in your very being. So much love to you. I can’t imagine what you must feel. My parents lost two of their children. My brothers. It took years to feel slightly normal and get into the part of celebrating the blessed, brief time we had with then. We have done our best to continue to honor them, planting gardens, playing their songs, cooking certain foods, hanging pictures. Feeling it all. My mom was better at expressing her feelings about her loss, my dad holds it inside. We’ve done our best to remember that, unless others have been through it, they can’t possibly fathom what we feel. To try and forgive and not be angry at others lack of awareness. The best we can hope for, are the right people to come into our lives that are capable of being there for us with support in our grief. To just listen and try not to fix us or solve our grief like it’s a to do list. I will pray that other parents who have walked this path too before you, will come into your life and that you can freely grieve and say how you feel. You have my empathy and prayers.

best,

Nicole

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Members

Grieving is appropriate , when the time comes to heal then that bridge can be crossed , some things never heal completely , having others that do understand and empathize makes the hurt sometimes a little less . sorry for your loss 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Members
Tommy's mum

michaelsmom there is no time limit for grieving remember that even if others push you to stop and move on. You lost your precious boy nothing will change that or the pain and sadness you feel. Truthfully you will mourn Michael for the rest of your life but in time the pain softens a little and becomes an ache deep inside. he will never be forgotten by you. Please join us on loss of an adult child by Mom of Justin at the top of the threads page, the one with the most views. The parents all meet here and support each other

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Members
Ashleys Mom
It astounds me when people ask me why I am crying.  It is like yesterday when I got that phone call.  How do any of us survive this?
 

Yes I get that what do they
Think we’re crying from were hurt n miss our kids



Sent from my iPhone using Grieving.com
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.