My Amazing Dad Passed away - 8th August 2018 ♥ ♥

[Ritchie_uk]

Hi There

My Amazing Father passed away on the 8th around 10.00am, but I wasn't by his side as I live in a town not far away.
Mum was trying to ring me, and I finally got the message at 10:00 and rushed over after dropping my Doggie off at my friends.

I was close to my Father, but we found it hard to talk, but saying that I love my parents and siblings so much.

The Journey over was one of the longest I have ever had to travel, even tho it is about 20 Miles away.

It was surreal as I walked into the room, as I can't remember much.
I remember a member of my family handing me his hand and then I lost it !!

All I remember was the warmth of his hand.
It is still disbelief, and even tho I cried, my Mum and family kept saying " We can't believe it "
My heart breaks for Mum as she sat there.
We have family around us and lots of friends as Dad was really Loved by anybody who met him.

The last week, I have been feeling sick and sleeping a lot, and my Doggie has been really cuddly towards me.

I have tried not to punish myself or blame myself for things I have said or not said, as we all Loved each other, and Mum and Dad were together for nearly 60 years.
Dad was a brave man, as he was in constant pain.

I feel quite numb now, and we as a family have to prepare the Funeral and legal plans.

Thankyou for reading this xx

 

 

[Nicole-my grief journey]

Ritchie_UK,

thank you for sharing. Surreal is exactly how I felt and what I continue to feel with my loss. My heart goes out to you, your mom and your family. The loss of a parent is truly something so deep that every cell in the body feels it. We lost my mom on July 18th. Our family shared so much love and my mom was loved by everyone she came in contact with too. Hold on to that in all your moments of numbness, deep hurt, and other emotions. It’s one solace in all the mixed things that grief comes with. I am watching my dad’s brokenness over my mother every day, they were married over 50yrs. I had her for 39 and I cherish every single second. I have done what I now call “the drive” and had the feeling that you had. My legs trembling, my mind in disbelief and shock, it feeling like a really long drive. I think you are right not to punish/ blame or think about what was said or wasn’t said to him from you, because in the end, the love is the only thing that matters. And I’m sure he knew how much unconditional love you felt towards him. I’m glad you are only 20miles from your mother. We experienced a lot of people being there for us the days before the funeral and through that day of the funeral and repass. After that, there have been cards, an occasional visit frim her best friend, but a lot of silence from all the people that were originally there for us and then it hit me and my dad hard. I hope that you and she will be able to be together a lot after the funeral and when the visitors slow down. At my mom’s funeral people kept saying to me “you know you need to take care of your dad”. Over and over again. It triggered me for several reasons, one because I know that I do and of course I will. But it hurt because I feel like I have the whole world on my shoulders, barely able to care for myself at the moment and she was my favorite person and I also need to grieve my loss. Thank goodness for your little doggie and the unconditional love you receive from them. That too is a blessing.  My mom was in a lot of pain and so brave. I hate that our parents had to go through that. Sometimes I am able to tell myself that she is now at oeace and no longer suffering and it helps. It just doesn’t take away my longing and yearning for her. Praying for all of us going through losing our parents. A big hug to you. We are here if you need others who are also going through similar. 

[Ritchie_uk]

Hi StreamingTheLight

Thankyou for your response.
I will respond in more detail in the next few days, as at the moment I am not in the right place emotionally to think about it.

Again, Thankyou for your Kind response.

Ritchie