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Mellisa Kale

2nd time around and it’s killing me

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Mellisa Kale

I lost my first son in 1989, a drunk driver hit us and my baby boy Adam died, it still hurts and I ache when I see little boys. I spent a lot of time trying to deal with it through therapy etc. now all these years later, I got a call from the police telling me they found my 25yr old son dead in his car and they still can’t tell me how he died. I feel hallow inside, like I am empty. I don’t know how I can do this, everyone wants me to be okay and are constantly trying to get me to do things or go out etc. all I want to do is hop on a plane and go as far away as possible, I am just having such a hard time being everywhere he has been and I just can’t stop thinking about it, does anyone else wonder what the hell they did so wrong in life to have to deal with this? 

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Tommy's mum

melissakale yes we have all wondered why us? what have I done that was so bad in my life that I deserve this pain? The answer is nothing anyone did or did not do, nothing you said or did not say it is just a cruel random pick and we got picked. I am so sorry that you have had the pain of losing Adam and then have got that second tragedy with your other son. How awful for your family. maybe when there are some answers from the coroner etc it will help a little but you already have had to live without a son so you know kind of a little of what lies ahead. I wish I could take away your pain but all I can offer is to join a community of bereaved parents. we are all on Loss of an adult child by Mom of Justin it is the thread at the top of the page with the most views and replies. It keeps us all in one place and is a good resource from people who know what it is like to lose a child/children. Please join us.

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Colette Powell

Hi Melissa, I’m very sorry for your losses. I have also lost two children. My 18 year old died in an auto accident in 2010 and I also just lost my 22 year old son in an auto accident on Valentines Day this year. I ask myself everyday what I have done to deserve losing both of my children and I believe the answer is nothing. Sometimes I think my boys were too good for this world. I try to believe that there is some plan from the time we are born and for some unknown reason their time here on this earth was complete. I now try to live everyday in a way that would make them proud. My younger son did amazing things after the loss of his brother. He volunteered his time to help others and was one semester away from getting his bachelors degree. He was an inspiration to me. Please reach out if there is anything I can do to help you in any way. 

 

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Tommy's mum

collette how wonderful of you to reach out to a mum who is in deep distress when you also have suffered a recent loss. My heart aches for you and melissa because I know how devastating losing a single child is I cannot even fathom dealing with a second child loss. This is a great site where you can find others who are struggling with grief and get some tips or insight or just support from those that have been there walking in your shoes ..take care

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Millissakale

Hi, Tommys mom,

so so sorry to hear of  ur great losses.

ive lost the three sons who loved me in word and deed,  most recent one is 4 months ago. 

I care and understand and am a good listening ear 

Cherokee

 

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XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hi Mellisa Kale

i can not put into words what my heart feels for you losing two sons.  

Your last statement in your post is just how ive felt each time i, too lost a son. Ivevlost three.  The third on just this last april 2019. 

Of course your feeling all this things you say here and feeling all the feelings.  And wanting to run away !!!

thats perfectly normal for amother whoes lost her heart ❤️ two times now.  

Your never going to be ok.        Somehow you will figure out how to live here on planet earth without your children.  

Please know i care and im here ifyou just need to talk..

a sight like this literally save my life because i coukd say all the words and exoress all my feeling and then had ppl who helped me know i was perfectly normal.  

When. Lost first one. Then another son i had not support from so called family including the one i lived with in fact hetook advantage of my state to use me and get his own needs met and even took money from my son and hat he gave me and spent 1000'sofdollarsof it.   

It took me 30 plus years to have my eyes opened to this persons covert nasiccusum

anyway  ijust lost my you gest son and i am making a kife of my own   Im trap with this persin at this point

but things have and are a changing fir mybest   Ihope to befree in the not to far future i pray for that most every day

 

 

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