My Cat Who Was 18

[BBV]

In 2000, I got Baby and his brother Cheeky when they were six weeks old. 

We were out of town last weekend but decided to come back a day early.  On Monday I was outside with Baby and his leg went limp.  He couldn't walk.  It was in the evening so I rushed him to the Emergency Vet.  She said he had a blood clot that went to his front leg.  I left him overnight and got him at 6 a.m. on Tuesday.  I took him home and he tried to walk but kept falling.  He was mentally determined but his leg wasn't cooperating.  I knew that this was going to be it.  I held him and walked around the garden with him for one last time.  I brought Cheeky to say goodbye.  I took him to my regular vet.  He said that he's never seen a clot go in the front legs.  He did an examination and took Baby for an X Ray.  He them came and told me that it wasn't a clot. (Holding off on my anger at the Emergency Vet)

His leg was broken from aggressive bone cancer and there was cancer in his lungs.  It was time.  I knew in my heart that I couldn't let him suffer and the vet confirmed that he was in extreme pain and there was no treatment. It was time for my 18 year old boy to be at peace.  One of my biggest fears was coming true:  I had end his life.  I held him and spoke to him in his ear like I have done for 18 years.  It was quick.  He was at peace.  My heart is broken and I am crying all of the time.  Cheeky is meowing and looking for his brother....how can I get through this?  Only people who have this type of love and relationship with their pet will understand....

[ddsmum]

@BBV, so sorry to hear about the loss of your kitty.  I believe you are correct about people understanding.  It's frustrating when people don't get that this is a crushing loss.  Please know that you are not alone in this, and that there are a lot of people who feel and comprehend your grief.

May you find peace.

[Beatriz]

I cried while I read your post as one of my late and most beloved cats, who reached 18 and died last April was also limping - and determined to follow his routine walks around the house although he was obviously in some pain. I placed cushions to ease his way up sofas and bed. He had kidney disease and carried accumulated fluid inside his body. He was prescribed but rejected mediation for pain. He was being administered IV with drip at home and this he also resisted and hated but for a while it worked until it didn’t and he died from kidney failure. When I look back now and consider that he was suffering more than we were able or willing to see ( he was a beautiful tabby cat and remained so till the end of his life ) I cannot help but wonder if we did do the right thing by him. I hope so. I miss the difficult treatment days terribly as he was still with me. I had lost one dear cat before and knew that the real and unbearable difficult starts when they die. My heart goes out to you at this moment. I understand your Pain fully but you did the right thing by him. You now have Cheeky to comfort and think of. My cats were also siblings. Please try and be gentle with yourself and go slowly with everything else. And cry. It does hurt so, I know. Hang in there and write here whenever you feel like. We hear you.

[KayC]

BBV,

Your post reminded me of my 19 year old cat, King George.  He'd developed something respiratory and had something thick and green coming out his sinuses below his eye, it was a Saturday so I took him to the emergency vet 50 miles away.  They wouldn't let me be with him while they "examined" him (left him alone in a room for 10 minutes) then they prescribed antibiotics.  It didn't help.  When I ran out I called them and they called a refill to my vet.  Went through that (he charged 1/3 as much by the way), still not better, so took him to my vet.  He examined him and told me he didn't have a sinus infection, he had cancer.  He showed me where it went from his tear ducts into the roof of his mouth.  He said to imagine the worst head cold I'd ever had and multiply it by 1,000 and that's how my cat felt.  I had him put to sleep.  I was very angry with the emergency vet because of them he'd endured a month of unbearable suffering, I'd been told to express the green stuff, the suffering my poor cat went through will never leave my mind and that was 12 years ago.  He was the best cat that ever was, he didn't deserve this.  He hated water as most cats do but they'd had me put him in a bathtub of water several times a day and swish the wet washcloth over his eye area...I did that, he had to be afraid and miserable and yet his feeling my hand holding his body up was just enough to make him purr.  He PURRED when he was in pure misery!  I called the emergency vet afterwards and they had no remorse, nothing.  I will never go back there, I can't forgive what they did to him.  Incompetence is one thing but utter disregard for my cat is entirely something else.

I am so so sorry for your cat, and for your missing him, and for everyone here.  These animals are part of our lives, part of our family, how can we not love them and care and miss them!

[BBV]

Thank you for your input.  I am sorry for the loss that you have experienced.  

[KayC]

And to you also...I know it's so hard.

[Bs28]

I know the emotions you are feeling right now.  It hurts so bad, your love for your kitty will never fade.  The days with out him will feel gloomy.  But as time moves on the pain gets easier to handle.  I lost my best friend who was a kitty 2 weeks ago, she was about 15 and stopped eating.  It was very hard to watch her not be herself.  Putting her down hurts me still I just was holding her as it was happening.  I can’t help but cry now.  I am praying for you,<3 things will get better.  Your kitty is an angel now in heaven watching over you.