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It doesn’t get easier


Tae

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Hi everyone 

my name is Tae and I lost my son Malachai 5 yrs ago this coming October at the hands of my ex fiancé. It’s not getting any easier to handle bc O had a tubal after he was born. Since then I got married and had ectopic pregnancies making it worse. I currently work in the obgyn DEPT of my job and it’s horrible. I’m trying to keep my anxiety down but it’s so hard. I find myself breaking down every night bc I miss my baby boy everyday. Although his killer was sentenced to life without for his death, it wasn’t enough. He stayed in prison until New Year’s Eve this year and died from cancer. Still doesn’t make it better. I keep telling myself I should be okay by now but I’m not. I need help

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Tommy's mum

tae I am really sorry for the loss of your son malachai and the trauma you had to endure for the trial etc It must have been a long drawn out and anxious time. You are right even though your ex was incarcerated and ultimately died there does not seem to be much comfort. Justice was served which is good but it still does not bring back your boy or peace of mind does it? perhaps the field you are working in is not the best area for you at this time? There are constant reminders of pregnancy and babies etc. would it be possible to transfer to a different department? I don't know if you have had any counselling or therapy but it does seem to be an appropriate course of action? You need some help to deal with the grief, depression and anxiety that you are experiencing so that you can finally make some peace and move forwards with your life with your husband. Perhaps you were so caught up in the anxiety of whether your ex would be charged/imprisoned etc that you were running on adrenaline and unable to slow down and grieve properly and now the grief is coming to the surface again. This is called delayed grieving, but it is ok you are not crazy you just need a professional to chat with and be able to go through the events and deal with the emotions until you are more at peace with life and yourself. There will always be a hole in your life shaped like your precious son, but it is possible to have a different life after loss. All the bereaved parents meet on the Loss of an adult child by mom of Justin. It is at the top of the page with the most views and replies. Just post something there and we can find you. It does not matter the age of your child we have bereaved parents of babies, toddlers, teens and adults. It is a place we can all gather together and support each other and ensure no one gets overlooked. You are not on your own ok?

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