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JBSC01

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I'm 14 weeks in and still cant look at pictures of my baby or us without totally losing it. If i accidentally open a pic of us or her on my phone or pc I immediately have to close it then just start bawling. I know everyone is different but just to get an idea how long did it take you all to start looking at pics for more than a sec without crying. And how long did it take you to look at them and actually smile or laugh? 

I had an idea to get a big fleece photo blanket (with a bunch of pics of her and us) done but seeing as i cant look at pictures yet i'm going to have to wait a while on that.   

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Its been a year and i still can't see his pictures or if i see them i cry every time so i guess there is no time frame for this.

 

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In the first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down...finally they were up to stay.  In the beginning pictures/memories brought pain, further out it brought comfort and a smile.  It's all part of the progression of grief, as we process it.  Let yourself cry the tears, feel the pain, it's part of the process.  You'll make your way through this...

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At 5 months, pictures are still too painful.  Sometimes I force myself to look at them just so I can get a good crying session out.

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Whispering Willow

I am starting to not cry at the framed photographs anymore and I am about 5 weeks in. I think its because I have always had pictures out and they are just part of the norm in my everyday household but pictures on my phone? I lose it. They are more candid shots that mean more to me. I was going to make my husband's picture my wallpaper on my phone. I tried it but every time I unlocked my phone, seeing his face startled me. I do break down a little each time I go into the closet and see his clothes and shoes. I thought about boxing them all up but then I feel like I'm erasing him if I do that. I had to sell his truck, there wasn't a way for me to make 3 car payments. We bought our son a car in February. Cleaning out his truck was so difficult. I cried the whole time. 

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At 13 years out it's still too painful for me to get out the pictures.  Too hard.  But I have pictures of him up on the wall.  I think like Whispering Willow said, we're used to that, but to go through all of them, no.  I'd bought scrapbooking stuff when he died to do an album of his life...still haven't done it.  May never be able to.

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Well hopefully i will be able to at least tolerate looking at pics "soon" and it could be a while but i really want to make that photo blanket, it would really suck if im never able to get it made because pictures hurt too much. 

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On 7/21/2018 at 11:06 PM, JBSC01 said:

I'm 14 weeks in and still cant look at pictures of my baby or us without totally losing it. If i accidentally open a pic of us or her on my phone or pc I immediately have to close it then just start bawling. I know everyone is different but just to get an idea how long did it take you all to start looking at pics for more than a sec without crying. And how long did it take you to look at them and actually smile or laugh? 

I had an idea to get a big fleece photo blanket (with a bunch of pics of her and us) done but seeing as i cant look at pictures yet i'm going to have to wait a while on that.   

I am now at 6 months and I look at my husbands picture all the time. I do cry but I miss his face so much that I just have to look at it. I have pictures of him up in my living room and my bedroom. Yesterday I looked through his phone at pictures for an hour 1/2. I can't seem to get close enough to him and so I look at and hold things that were his. It brings me some comfort and unbearable pain.

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18 hours ago, JBSC01 said:

Well hopefully i will be able to at least tolerate looking at pics "soon" and it could be a while but i really want to make that photo blanket, it would really suck if im never able to get it made because pictures hurt too much. 

Josh, even if you can't look at the blanket you should have it made and put it away until you are ready. I had a quilt made with my husband's football jersey's and I love it so much. A couple of his jersey's had stains on them because he refused to ever throw them away. To me it makes the blanket more a real part of him. It is something I can wrap myself in when it gets cold and I will keep it for the rest of my life.

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And even if you can't look at it, it might bring you comfort wrapping yourself in it.  I wrap myself in my husband's robe sometimes, it brings me comfort.

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9 hours ago, LeannC45 said:

Josh, even if you can't look at the blanket you should have it made and put it away until you are ready. I had a quilt made with my husband's football jersey's and I love it so much. A couple of his jersey's had stains on them because he refused to ever throw them away. To me it makes the blanket more a real part of him. It is something I can wrap myself in when it gets cold and I will keep it for the rest of my life.

Thanks Leann for responding, that quilt sounds really awesome! Its great to have those things. The problem is i will have to go through and look at the pics in order to send it in to get made in the first place, so thats the dilemma 

 

7 hours ago, KayC said:

And even if you can't look at it, it might bring you comfort wrapping yourself in it.  I wrap myself in my husband's robe sometimes, it brings me comfort.

Thats great, I think ill start a new tread where we all post pics of things we wear or keep with us all day everyday that bring us comfort. 

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14 hours ago, JBSC01 said:

Thanks Leann for responding, that quilt sounds really awesome! Its great to have those things. The problem is i will have to go through and look at the pics in order to send it in to get made in the first place, so thats the dilemma 

 

Thats great, I think ill start a new tread where we all post pics of things we wear or keep with us all day everyday that bring us comfort. 

I understand completely. I hope you can move forward with having your blanket made when you are ready. 

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