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I am lost without my sister Part 2


Gigi1959

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I originally posted on May 18th about my middle sister's unexpected and sudden death on April 4th. It has been approximately 3 months and 5 days and things have gotten worse. I come from a very dysfunctional family. My mum and little sister are mean and emotionally abusive to me. I thought Tina dying would have changed/softened them. No. I have learned many things about death. It doesn't change hateful people. If you are ugly and mean on the inside (you are still that way). At least with my fam. I am now their punching bag of anger about Tina dying. Please do not tell me everyone grieves in their own way... because this type of grief is abusive. I go to therapy, I have my hubby and Tina's husband to talk to... but I feel lost and alone. Tina was the glue that kept our family together. She was the only reason I would go to Christmas. She is the only person that made me feel loved and not worthless. She is gone and I am left with these 2 horrible people. My life is a big mess. Can anyone relate? Am I the only one with a f'd up fam? That's Tina and me (she is in front).

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On 7/2/2018 at 6:12 PM, Gigi1959 said:

I originally posted on May 18th about my middle sister's unexpected and sudden death on April 4th. It has been approximately 3 months and 5 days and things have gotten worse. I come from a very dysfunctional family. My mum and little sister are mean and emotionally abusive to me. I thought Tina dying would have changed/softened them. No. I have learned many things about death. It doesn't change hateful people. If you are ugly and mean on the inside (you are still that way). At least with my fam. I am now their punching bag of anger about Tina dying. Please do not tell me everyone grieves in their own way... because this type of grief is abusive. I go to therapy, I have my hubby and Tina's husband to talk to... but I feel lost and alone. Tina was the glue that kept our family together. She was the only reason I would go to Christmas. She is the only person that made me feel loved and not worthless. She is gone and I am left with these 2 horrible people. My life is a big mess. Can anyone relate? Am I the only one with a f'd up fam? That's Tina and me (she is in front).

FB_IMG_1529116487714.jpg

 

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Hi Gigi

I am so sorry for your loss. I do totally relate - my remaining family is my mother and she is highly emotionally abusive. I too thought that this would surely bring about some change. I found a note from my mother in my sister's apartment. The note was written in response to my sister's letter to her in which she had told her how desperate her life had become. My mother's response was cruel.  So when I contacted her after my sister's death, I was devestated to receive a reply from her that was equally brutal. She even sighned it off making almost the same identical comments that she had made to my sister when she had replied to her, less than a year before my sister totally gave up. It was my mother's last contact with her.  It basically said don't contact me again, I am old and tired. How she could write the same thing again to me when I reached out to her, just a few weeks after what my sister did, I don't know.  I would be happy to hear from you if you would like to talk more. My email is katrina.gray@studyroutesuk.com

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My sister passed away April 7th. April 4th was the last time I saw her alive. I am so very sorry for what you are enduring, Gigi because grief is hard enough but abuse on top of it is so much worse. I cannot relate as my family has seemed to really come together. I hope and will pray right now, that you hold onto the ones who are there for you and find people who love you and will be there for you as you navigate through this process.

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