Members Rose913 Posted June 23, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2018 My son was 27 years old. Out of High School he graduated a year early with honors. Started a University, but drug abuse took over. By the time he was 24, he decided it was time to get serious about life. He got clean, and came back home. Worked for a year. The next year he started back to school in a local technical college for a year making the Deans List, and worked a part time job. Then, he reapplied to the original University and GOT ACCEPTED! He felt so good about himself. He completed his first semester majoring in Pre-Law on the Deans List. We were so proud of Him! The night before he was to start his Junior year, (National Football Championship) the roads had black ice, and he had been drinking. He lost control and had a violent accident causing brain shear and went into cardiac arrest. We don’t know how long he went without oxygen, but he suffered anoxic brain damage to the brain stem. After 2 days, he awakened. He had to fight for his life. My son was quadriplegic and on a ventilator. He was locked-in. My son fought for 5 months with some ability to communicate with us at times and minimal purposeful movements. He struggled to fight secondary infections and suffered a big setback. The doctors said he would not get better. We asked the Dr. to “let him go.” No more suffering. But now we are struggling with our decision. Is there a heaven? We have this huge gaping hole in our lives. He was the oldest of 3 boys and going to college with his youngest brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members donnamaria Posted June 23, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2018 im so sorry for your loss i loss my son victor 35 years old on june 10th 2018 he was my youngest child is there a Heaven me and victor talked about that he would say mom if i go before you dont be mad because i will be with his Most Holy High and be happy for me he was so strong in his faith so i have to keep strong that there is a Heaven and one day he will come for me and take me with him like you i have so much regret i suffer from guilt and the what ifs even though people till me victor wouldnt want me too but the pain is so real too much to bare but i take it one second at a time my heart goes out to you i wish none of us had to join this club i wish this was a club where our children were still alive and we were telling everyone about what they were doing oh how i wish this was so people here are so nice they understand they let me cry and vent and pour out my heart which iam so greatful for Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted June 23, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2018 rose913 so sorry you went through all that trauma with your boy it must have been so hard for you all. As his parents you made the big decision to let him go peacefully which was the right decision. The strength you showed in making that huge decision was the final act of love for your son whose life had been so dramatically altered by the car accident. Please do not feel guilt. I don't know if you have a faith or not but it does not matter so much as long as you know he is still with you in spirit by your side healthy and well you just can't see him for now. We all meet on the thread Loss of an adult child by Mom of Justin. It is at the top of the page with the most views and replies.We are all bereaved parents walking the same path as you are and understand your pain and sadness intimately. Please join us there just post and we will find and support you. It keeps us all in one place together so no one gets accidentally overlooked. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rose913 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2018 Tommy’s Mum, Thank you for saying that about the guilt. There is just so much to process and deal with. We were so consumed with his condition during the past 5 months. I quit work and stayed with him most days at the hospital, with the occasional break from my husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rose913 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2018 DonnaMaria, I am a Christian and want to believe in heaven, but I just can’t feel it. I had a talk with him beforehand about his beliefs with yes/no questions. He was like me, he wanted to believe it was true. At this point I don’t feel his presence. All I can feel is his absence. I want so much to dream about him and have him visit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rose913 Posted June 24, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2018 I love this song for my Son Nathan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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