We had his sevice yesterday

[donnamaria]

Yesterday we said good by to Victor it was a beautiful service he would of been so happy to see how many family and friends were there we had it at our church he so much wanted to go back to church he got a new power chair and we made so many plans to go places this summer he would say mom hopefully they fix my stomach issues he had gastrolparesis and we can go places it breaks my heart that the inside of the church he loved and wanted to go to one more time he was in a casket i cant believe im writing my baby my youngest child 35 years old is no longer here with me i miss him so much me and him had a special bond i was his caregiver but i think he was actually mine he kept me sane when things were going wrong when i lost family members he prayed with me talked to me he was my go to person the one i could talk to and now hes gone i have other children and family and i know there trying to help but i just want my baby back i put him in his church shirt he became a soldier in our church the salvation army oh he was so proud that day and over that shirt his minnesota vikings jersey anyone who knows my victor knows of his love for the vikings he gets that from me i dont know if i will ever be able to watch another game i know victor you told me if anything ever happened to you i have to keep cheering them om and im gonna try i put a picture of the two of us dressed in our vikings gear his minnesota vikings name plate with his name a bible and a rosary his best friend put a cd of wu tang clan is favorite group he had on his vikings hat all the things he would have wanted my heart is so broken this pain its so unbearable its like my heart has been torn out of my chest i cant believe that i have to visit my son in a cemetary i want him back with me cheering on the vikings watching boxing.ufc.wrestling answering the questions on jeporady telling me he loves me i want to hear him say Good night mom i love you God Bless you like we told eachother everynight i dont know why God choose me for this pain why he choose any of us i dont know why he didnt intervene im so hurt angry mad but most of all im broken my heart it hurts so im so lonely for my son 

[Tommy's mum]

donnamaria I understand your pain anguish and longing to have your son back. He is still with you just not visible and you will be reunited one day in the future I promise just not yet. His spirit lives on he is not at the cemetery only his earthly shell is because he does not need it anymore. he is with you by your side always so you can talk to him and share things with him anywhere not just at the cemetery. I do not think we are chosen I believe it was an accident but to learn from this and help others in the same situation is how we make some sense of it all when there are no good reasons or answers. join us on loss of an adult child by mom of justin. It is at the top of the page and has the most views. We parents meet there to keep us all in one place and answer each other pleasse join us there.

[donnamaria]

thank you for your kind words i still cant figure out how to post on the page everyone goes on 

[TearsInHeaven]

Donnamaria, I am so sorry to hear your loss. This is so difficult and this early time.  It is harsh, it is brutal. Sometimes just being able to speak out can help, and sometimes just listening to the path of others can be a help especially while you are trying to navigate this new world you are thrust into.   .  Just take it one day (or one hour or one minute) at a time. I know you feel like you can never live through this pain but you will. But think about only getting through the next minute. While food and water are not high on your thought processes right now please make sure to eat little bites and drink water.  Tears will come and that is okay.  to navigate to the site we all post on like Lesley told you above. got to Loss of a child, then Loss of an Adult child, then go to the last page.  That is the active section.  when you want to tell us about Victor or anything you want to talk about.  this is a good place and as we are all bereaved parents we understand.  Here is a little visual instruction: