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auntie wanting to do what I can


auntie needing advice

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auntie needing advice

I'm writing as an auntie of a 2-y-o who was diagnosed with cancer in June. She and her whole immediate family (my sister, BIL, nephew) have all been amazing at taking things day by day and keeping a positive attitude. Unfortunately, it is looking like we will lose her very soon. I want to reach out to all of you to ask what I can do to support my sister and her family as they go through these next few days, weeks, years. What did family/friends do or not do that was important or helpful? I don't want to be asking her, I would like to be able to do things that she doesn't even have to ask for. Up to now I have been somewhat the intermediary between her and my family, updates, etc. as well as wrangling my mom, when needed. I know that nothing I can do will make anything "better" but I would like some ideas of how I could help. Thank you in advance, and my heart is with all of you, as well. Thank you.

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I don't have great advice however I went through the death of a child in December (she was 21 I know not 2). What helped me was when people dropped off premade meals..I didn't m me they did while i was in a fog. Found them in freezer.

I found the actual funeral preparing was horrid I don't k ow if she would let you but I found that exhausting.

I still can't look through her things to this day..has only been less than 2 months...maybe u can be with her then.

Co-workers and families donated a lot of money..That helped tremendously. The funeral was over 13,000 and I'm on unpaid leave from.work the money keeps me going

( I'm a nurse practitioner) no way could I function there yet

I don't know what else.i could suggest

Any other children...housework? That helpeď as well occupying them and the housework

 

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auntie how lovely of you to seek out advice to help your sister and her family. Like Rebekah said pre made or delivered meals, house chores taking and sending messages to relieve the family having to say the same thing over and over, paperwork if needed anything to take some pressure off them. Also gently encouraging the family to take turns with visiting  if at the hospital as they will insist on being there all the time and will become very ragged and rundown. A short break is really helpful in recharging the emotional batteries even if all they do is nap. She may not actually  know what help she needs but i am sure you will sympathetically and instinctively know what is helpful.I am so sorry about your precious niece's diagnosis it must be totally heartbreaking and scary. Facing the potential loss of a child is terrible. The majority of our group had sudden losses in a variety of ways and ages. Some did have the opportunity to spend some time before the child/adult child passed away but it makes no difference really, a loss of a much loved life is always a loss and we grieve equally. I hope you have some community support available like a hospice team or community cancer nurse who offer tremendous knowledge and support having  been through this situation many times and know what families need. Keep us posted and we can offer perhaps some help /advice. We all post on Loss of an adult child thread at the top of the page it is the one  by mom of justin with over 2 million views. It keeps us all together so no one gets left behind. Just post anything on that thread that you want to share. You do not have to face this sadness on your own ok?

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