Can't cope after losing my dog, Piper

[Sassy]

I lost my Piper dog on Tuesday. I'm not coping or handling it well. I miss her so desperately and I just don't even know how to go on without her. She was my whole world and my reason for living. I'm so lost without her. I can't even function or do any basic daily tasks. She was the one who kept me going and gave me a purpose. 

[MyMocha]

*

[Mack2018]

@Sassy, I understand your pain. I lost my dog Mack yesterday...he was everything to me...my buddy...my best friend. Last night was hard, I cried myself to sleep. Today, my 1st day without him, has been ruff. I feel empty...like I'm outside myself. I find it hard to breathe at times...like an elephant is sitting on my chest. My heart aches...it is broken. I find myself looking aimlessly out the window...I look at the clock, a hour has passed and I don't even remember why I was looking out the window. This is not going to be an easy journey but we have no other choice but to follow the road called grief. Everyone I've encountered on this site is very understanding and kind. Just having someone that understands how you feel makes you feel better I think. Everyone says that it will get easier to deal with the loss. I'm counting on this so I'm staying the course and letting myself grieve without shame.

[Sassy]

I'm so sorry for your loss of Mack. It certainly helps to hear from others who are going through the same thing. 

I find myself just wandering around the house aimlessly. I alternate between balling my eyes out and just staring off at nothing, almost like I'm in a catatonic state. 

She was my everything, my world, my reason for waking up in the morning. I can't seem to find any reason to even want to go on right now. I'm so lost and empty. 

You are right to allow yourself to grieve without shame. I am doing the same thing. I need time to get over the loss of my little buddy, my best friend. I am letting myself grieve in whatever ways I need to. 

[MelsGone]

I am so sorry. I understand what you mean about feeling “lost”. And when you feel like you “Can’t Function” just slow down, take time for yourself, don’t try to get back to your life as usual “tasks” because life isn’t as usual right now. Piper was obviously a very special girl, I would love to hear more about her.

[Sassy]

Piper was a very special girl. She was my first dog and just completely changed my life. She was such a sweet, happy boxer dog. She was so entertaining and energetic and full of life. She could be so goofy and silly and would always make me laugh. 

Everyone who met her fell in love with her.  She was a fairly small boxer dog, but what she lacked in size, she made up for with her personality  

 

 

[MelsGone]

All smiles. Looks like she was a very happy girl!

[Mack2018]

@Sassy, Piper is adorable, so darn cute! You can tell she was full of personality. I've had other dogs before Mack but they always bonded to someone else. Don't get me wrong, I loved them dearly but Mack and I bonded so strongly. I have never felt this kind of grief over a pet. He was my boy and I was his girl. We have to find a way to put one foot in front of the other each day to get through this. I have been in a catatonic state for over a week. On 1/24 when I took Mack to the vet I was told he probably wouldn't make it 2 more weeks. Within days he went down hill and I couldn't stop it. 

[Guest]

Sassy, we all understand what you are going through, they become our whole world, we build our lives around them and when they are gone, they leave such a massive void that it is hard to imagine how to fill it.  You will always miss your precious girl but she will always be with you. 

[Sassy]

 

   Mack2018, I completely understand the bond that we have with our pets. It is so strong and so special. Some people just don't understand how a pet can take over your heart. The grief is just so unbearable at times. 

[AJWCat]

Hey Sassy, I am so sorry to read about sweet Piper. You came to the right place to express your grief. We all know what you are going through. I was like @Mack2018, pretty much in total shock, functioning like a zombie.

I know people love their pets but for some of us, the bond is tremendous and the loss is profound and life changing. Our daily habits - what we do with them and for them is just over. It's pretty shocking. 

And "grieve without shame" is what he said. I love that. It's how we heal and go on without our wonderful friend. Wishing you peace. 

[KayC]

Sassy,

Your Piper is adorable, and it sounds like we like the same thing in dogs.  My dog Arlie is also goofy and funny and I adore him!  Alas he is ten (his life span is estimated 9-12 years) and has medical issues...while I may not have a long time left with him, I try to enjoy each day that I do.

Losing our furry family members is one of the hardest losses we can endure.  We have poured heart and soul into each other, and missing that daily interaction is so hard!  You will eventually adjust to your life without Piper somewhat but the missing him continues.  What a beautiful sweet dog, you can see it in his smile!  My heart goes out to you in your loss. 

[Yuki]

I feel for you and understand completely what you are going through. From the moment my little dog entered our house, I fell in love. She brought so much to our world in so many ways. Going forward without her in it just filled me with an intense and profound sense of loss.. I could not find comfort or peace in anything, grief colored every aspect of my world.  But fast forward 3 months and though I still miss her and shed a few tears now and then, the grief has eased up a lot. So hold on to that. Also i found a change of scenery very helpful.

[Sassy]

Today has been a rough day. Although I made some progress by going out for a short walk, and returning to my apartment, the grief has just been unbearable today. I've been having waves of just absolute despair and depression. I'm so lost and hopeless. I feel like I'm sinking into a severe depression. Piper was my reason for being, my love and happiness. She kept me going and now I just don't know how to go on without her. She kept me alive. 

[Mack2018]

@Sassy, I'm worried about you. You probably are sinking into a terrible depression. I have been treated for major depression for many, many years. Are you ok? 

[Mack2018]

@Sassy, I understand how you feel. It's hard to do anything or leave the house. When I awoke this morning, I said "good morning boy" to Mack. I go to make my coffee and when I get it ready to brew I stand there looking around...lost...what do I do now? Usually while the coffee brews I take Mack out and feed him, and the coffee is ready when I finish. I then sit to have my 1st cup while listening to him crunch, crunch, crunch his food, then he would come and sit beside me. I understand the waves of grief...they come like a tsunomi...taking over the landscape of your heart. Today I had to leave the house for an 11:00am appointment. I kept telling myself to stay calm that I can do it...put your grief away until you return home. I'm almost finished getting ready and the tears start to come...not all consuming...but there nonetheless. I tell myself, get it together girl, put one foot in front of the other. I make it to my appointment but as soon as I walk thru the door and someone said "hey, how are you" the flood gate opened and I burst into tears. Thankfully, I recovered quickly and no one else talked to me. :-D When I leave to go home I'm dreading walking into the house knowing Mack won"t be there to greet me...no click, click, click of his little dog feet...no wagging little nub tail...no happy joyful dance...I walk on. I go to my bedroom to put my purse away, there on my beside table is a vase of flowers with Mack's blanket and collar, I'm frozen...can't move. I call for my son & read the card...my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter sent them to me. My son placed the blanket and collar with the flowers. I think to myself, I'm lucky to have these people in my life that are willing to accept my grief. I cried for hours for my boy Mack. I cried myself to sleep and slept for 2 hours, now I have to get thru the night. Sassy, you are not alone! When you feel you can't go on, you can. Piper would want it that way.

[Sassy]

@Mack2018

That is so beautiful what your family did for you. You are very fortunate that they understand you and are there for you while you grieve for Mack. 

When I was at my apartment today, I noticed how quiet it is. I would hear the odd noise and expect Piper to react in some way, even just by perking up her ears. It was strange not having her there to react to the neighbours coming and going or a dog barking outside. I'm realizing how quiet a home can be without a dog. I haven't been able to sleep at my apartment since I lost Piper. I've been to the apartment three times since, just for a few hours at a time. Sometimes it's okay and I find comfort in being in the same space that I shared with Piper. Other times, the grief just takes over and I can't bear to be there anymore. 

Today has been full of some low moments, but also some okay moments. The low moments were bad today. I know I'm not coping well. I know I need some professional help. I'm trying to get it, but it's proving to be difficult.  The okay moments make me hope that it will get easier.

I went for my first walk without Piper this morning.  I just went to get a coffee.  I cried all the way there and all the way back.  My most favourite thing in the whole world was to take my girl for a walk.  I didn't even care that I was crying on the sidewalk in the public. I was just so sad that I will never be able to walk her again. After I got my coffee, I went and found a bench to sit on outside.  If Piper was with me, she would have jumped up on the bench to sit with me.  She would snuggle up right next to me, and lean in for a belly rub.  The two of us would sit and snuggle on the bench while we did some people watching.  She loved sitting on benches. 

I'm really missing her tonight.

 

 

 

[Mack2018]

@Sassy You definitely did make some progress today! I love hearing about your routine with Piper. The quiet is getting to me too. Mack would do the same as Piper...ears up...was that a noise??? Did a dog just bark...this is my territory! Oops there’s a squirrel...not in my yard buddy! Sometimes he would check it out, other times just be aware. It’s funny how we become accustomed to those little quirks without realizing it until they stop. The silence hurts...it’s so profound. I’m looking forward to some ok moments. Sending you a picture of my flowers & my boy Mack.

[Sassy]

@Mack2018

Your boy, Mack, is so handsome. I like to see pics of him. Those flowers are beautiful - I hope they provide you with a bit of comfort. 

I slept well enough last night. A few solid hours. I find the days are harder than the nights. I wake up without any purpose and not knowing what to do with myself. I'm in between jobs right now (which is just another story), so I don't even have the structure and distraction of having a job to go to. 

The blessing in disguise is that I haven't worked since December 22 when my contract ended. My new job was supposed to start the first week of January. The start date for the new job keeps getting delayed, which is why I haven't been working for the last month and a half.  Because of this I was able to spend Piper's last days with her.  Although I didn't know that she would be gone soon, I still knew that one day I would be without her  . I reminded myself of that and told myself to cherish all the extra time I had with her. I didn't know that that time would come so soon.  Now that time that we had together is just so much more special and I am so thankful that I got to spend all of her last days with her.  Such a special time and lots of good memories with her.  I will cherish that time forever.

 

 

 

 

[AJWCat]

Hey @Sassy and @Mack2018 reading your thread and wanted to just add a couple comments. First, if you feel like you are sinking into a depression, definitely get help.

That said, IMO, and maybe it's because I was exactly like you both, I feel like your process in normal. You both are so new to this.  

The first few days are like being in shock. I would never share this to people who aren't going through it but literally the world was so dark. I couldn't sing to a song on the radio. I wondered if I'd ever really laugh again. My heart physically ached. If you could have a heart break I swear mine did. I felt like I was going crazy with grief. I didn't eat much because food brought no joy. I could go on... but still, I just got up each day and survived. Some days were better than others. Sometimes I'd be fine in the morning and cry my eyes out in the afternoon.

It slowly got better. I still miss my sweet guy, I wish he were here. It's almost the 6 month mark. I don't cry anymore. I'm just sad he suffered at the end, but I try to focus only on the good things.

So give yourself time and be patient.  

Again, though, I'm always in favor of talking to someone, life is tough enough without loss.

[KayC]

15 hours ago, Mack2018 said:

My son placed the blanket and collar with the flowers. I think to myself, I'm lucky to have these people in my life that are willing to accept my grief.

I am so glad they are there for you and understand.  So important for people to acknowledge our grief and let it be what it is, we can't discount it, but need to feel and make our way through this, pain and all.

@Yuki

I've read your posts, they are kind and thoughtful, from someone who has recently been through this and understands.  Bless you.

@Sassy

I hope you're able to get an appointment.  Sometimes insurance covers, but if not, there are places that are income based.  This is no easy thing to get through, but somehow we do.  It's okay to feel what you are feeling, pretty much any and everything you can feel in grief is normal.

[Sassy]

@AJWCat

Thank you for your message and for reminding me I am processing all of this normally. I still think I need some professional  help as I have some other mental health issues that are being magnified by the loss of my Piper. I am trying to get the help I need. 

Thank you for reminding that it does and will get better. 

[Sassy]

I went to lay down for a nap. I started thinking about all the wonderful naps I had with Piper. She would start pawing at the covers so that I would let her underneath. She would curl right up next to me, almost spooning with me. I would pet her and rub her belly, and we would fall asleep together.  I would find such comfort touching her soft, soft fur. And the sound of her breathing and snoring was the most wonderful sound in the world. 

I thought this would all trigger a breakdown. I certainly feel like crying but it's almost as if I don't have the energy to cry right now. I just don't want to go there right now. 

I'm trying to focus on the good memories of our naps together. 

[AJWCat]

Grief can get exhausting. How funny and adorable Piper was! Those moments are such true joy. We are so lucky to get them. 

[Sassy]

@AJWCat

Piper truly was funny and adorable. She was just a gem of a dog. Everyone who met her fell in love with her and her personality. She was so sweet and goofy and silly and so full of energy. You couldn't help but to smile when you were around her. Her happy smile was so infectious. I am so lucky that she was my dog. 

[Mack2018]

@Sassy Like you I am in-between jobs. I lost my job the week before Thanksgiving. It was a blessing for me to be able to spend Mack's final days and hours with him. I too didn't know it was going to end until 1 week before it did. Now it feels like a curse, he's absence is huge!  You are correct, the days are the hardest. Like you, I do not have the distraction of a job. And...thank you for your comments on my handsome boy! He was a quirky little dog but I loved that about him. I awoke this morning feeling a little better, not happy by any means, just easier. If that makes any sense. Like the vice around my heart is not squeezing, but not letting go either. Last night I decided to lay in bed and watch a movie. I went through my usual routine of pulling the comforter back to prepare my bed, and then off to the shower. I then settled in to search for a movie. I check my email and saw your post so decided to write you before I started the movie. I was finishing up my post to you when my son came in my room and said "Mack is here". I looked at him over my glasses and said "don't do that" thinking he was kidding me. He said "no mom for real...look". There at the foot of the bed was the indention again... Mack's spot. This happened Thursday night, my 1st night without him, but nothing on Friday...believe me...I watched! So, once again his spirit came to me. I didn't even cry this time...I said "hey boy" and went on to watch my movie. Don't ask me what the movie was about...I don't even remember the name of it...it was just a distraction to get me thru another night. :-) When I awoke this morning I touched the spot and said "good morning boy, I love you". I went on to make my bed, open the blinds, and start a load of laundry. I was singing Mack his song the entire time. It's the little steps we make each day. Like you going back to your apartment and going for that walk for coffee without Piper. It's painful, but you did it, you faced it, and survived it! I did manage to start the laundry, dry it, and start another load. Then my brother called to check on me and that brought the tidal wave of grief washing over me again. I'm not going to force myself to do anything else today...little steps. It really does help to be able to express our grief on this site without judgement. Just talking about it has helped me so much! 

I want to say I'm lucky to already be receiving treatment for depression, but there is nothing lucky about mental health issues. Those words, "mental health issues", brings fear and uncertainty. I have learned over the years to not feel shame and to accept this about myself. I don't share my journey with many because people just don't understand...only those that live it can understand. Continue to seek treatment, without it, everything, and I mean everything is compounded. I know I wouldn't be able to cope with this loss without treatment.

I'm sending you a funny picture of Mack and my son. Mack will not drop his toy for any reason...none. My son picked him up and he refused to drop it. :-)

[Sassy]

@Mack2018

I know exactly what you mean about being able to discuss our grief on this site without judgement. It has helped me tremendously. Just talking to someone who is going through the Same thing is so therapeutic. 

I, too, woke up this morning feeling a little better. The same as you, not happy, just easier. I'm finding it easier to talk about Piper and to share the memories. I may be talking about her too much, but I really don't care. I want to remember every happy and silly memory. She truly was such a sweet happy silly goofy entertaining dog. I can't help but to smile when I share some of those stories and memories. I've also been looking at a lot of her photos. They just make me smile when I see them. She's so happy in all of them. They bring back such fond memories. 

What a sweet photo of your son and Mack. Stubborn dog not dropping his toy. So nice that you have that photo memory of him refusing to drop his toy. 

How lovely it is that Macks's spirit comes to visit you. And that you say "good morning boy", and sing to him. When I left my apartment the other day, I said, "goodbye, Piper, I love you. Be a good girl". Like I always do. It brought me some comfort to talk to her. 

I went for another walk today. I did shed some tears along the way, but didn't break down balling hysterically. I'm finding I don't have the energy to ball my eyes out today. I know I will start balling again at any time, but today I just didn't have the energy to do it. It's not because I don't miss Piper and that it hurts any less, I think I just needed to focus on happy memories with her today. 

So where did I go for my walk? To the dog park! I just needed to see dogs. I cried while I was there, but again, not a breakdown balling kind of crying.  I kind of expected that the dog park would be more therapeutic, but it wasn't. I can't explain it. I needed to be around dogs, and that's it. After the dog park, I went to the pet store, again, looking for more dogs. I didn't see any dogs there. I did walk around the store and looked at items that I would have bought for Piper. I almost broke down when I saw her favourite treats, but I didn't. I just didn't have the energy for a break down. I don't know, maybe it's unhealthy that I go to the dog park and to the pet store looking for dogs. 

I appreciate you sharing your experience with mental health issues. I am trying to be more open about my own. I used to always keep everything inside,  and never talk about my anxiety and depression. I'm getting better at opening up about what I'm going through. I'm selective with who I share with, but it is getting easier to talk about my experiences.  Although I've suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life, and  I do take meds, I've never properly dealt with the core issues. I've realized that that has triggered a strong bout of depression since I lost Piper. I'm still trying to get the right help so that I can treat the source of my anxiety and depression. 

I am sharing a couple of silly photos of Piper. The first one is her asking for a belly rub by laying in the belly rubbing position.  The second one she looks like she's a sexy dog posing for a magazine. These are just a couple of ways that she would make me laugh on a daily basis. 

[KayC]

Mack is so adorable (so is your son!), I love how he hangs on to his toy, so cute!!  It's very special that you're getting those "visits" from him, cherish them.  They may or may not continue, I know it's hard for them to manifest in a physical way, but he must really love you to put forth this effort, it's as if he knows you are missing him and hurting and he wants to bring you comfort and reassurance.

I'm glad you aren't ashamed of having mental health issues, truth be known, it's more common than most people realize.  Too many people in the closet about it, it's good that you can talk about it and especially to help someone else.

[Mack2018]

@Sassy

Thank you for sharing the photos of Piper! The sexy posing one is just too funny! What a personality she must have had. We are lucky in this day and time that we can capture so many memories so easily. I haven't been able to go thru all of Mack's photos yet, but I will in time.

I don't think it's unhealthy for you to go to the dog park or the pet store, but I'm no expert. It's good that you are trying different things to help you cope. I am not ready for the dog park or pet store, but I will admit I have been looking at rescue's online. Mack was a rescue. I saw him online at the local humane shelter and was drawn to him. I went to see him the next day, and when our eyes met, I knew he was the one. We took him home that day.

I feel a little better today but still don't want to do anything. I had a cry earlier, thankfully not a breakdown. Like you, I feel drained...it is so exhausting! Mack didn't visit last night but it didn't make me sad. @KayC said "They may or may not continue, I know it's hard for them to manifest in a physical way, but he must really love you to put forth this effort, it's as if he knows you are missing him and hurting and he wants to bring you comfort and reassurance". Yes!!! Exactly!!!  I will cherish these visits!

It's great that you are realizing you need to deal with core issues to improve your mental health. My depression is with anxiety was well. Remember, talking to others and reading other people's stories help. It makes you feel more normal...if that makes sense. You can remain anonymous online without fear of judgement.

[Sassy]

@Mack2018

I didn't think I would be able to look at Piper's photos so soon. I started looking at the odd one at first. It brought me such comfort. Her big smile just puts a smile on my face. And her personality truly comes through in her photos. I realized right away that her photos would help me heal. I understand how it can take others more time to look at the photos. You are right that we are so lucky in this day and age to capture all these wonderful memories. 

Thank you for sharing your story of how you adopted Mack. They really do choose us, don't they? Maybe one day you will be able to rescue another one and give him/her a loving home. When the time is right, of course.

Piper came from a litter of pups that my mom's dog had. Piper was the runt of 8 puppies. I hadn't planned on getting a dog, and hadn't really considered it. I've always been a cat person and had two other cats at the time. My mother came for a visit and brought Piper with her so that I could meet one of the puppies. I fell in love immediately. Piper and I bonded right away. We had such a strong connection. Since I hadn't planned on getting a dog, I didn't know much about owning one. I didn't even have all of the dog accessories that one needs when bringing home a new puppy. None of that mattered.  My life changed immediately and I adapted my lifestyle for her.  I got all the accessories that we needed, and learned what I needed to know about dogs. Piper and I figured it all out together.  From the start she brought such joy and happiness to my life.

Today was a rough day. Full of sadness and several breakdowns. I just let myself feel the sadness and have the breakdowns. I know there will be good and bad days. Today was one of the bad ones. 

I was able to speak to my doctor today. He booked me an appointment for Thursday morning. Hopefully I can start to get the help that I need. I understand that I am grieving right now and that it's a process, but I also realize that I'm slipping into a severe depression. I'm trying to prevent that. 

I hope that Mack comes to visit you tonight. I know what comfort it must bring you when he visits. He knows you still need him. 

[MyMocha]

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[MelsGone]

Hi @Sassy I understand completely how you feel. Also in response to your post about wanting to be around/see dogs by going to the dog park, I would like to share a brief story with you, perhaps it will make you smile.

In 2006 after I lost my first dog “Drexel” (my everything), I too found myself at the dog-park, only it was a dog- park in NYC, & dog walkers  bring several dogs each to the park, so no one noticed that I did not bring a dog, even though the sign at the gate said: “You Must Have A Dog To Enter Park”. - Which got me teary-eyed right there, but I went in, regardless. I sat my dogless self away from everyone on a bench that wrapped around a big tree & watched them play. It wasn”t before long, my eyes were shut tight as I tried not to cry/breakdown. It was then I felt something lean it”s weight against the side of my legs... I looked down, and I’ll never forget him - a very light Blonde Irish Setter Mix was just sitting there leaning against me, panting, and watching the other dogs. And when he saw that my eyes were looking down at him he gave me this look like “I’ll be your dog..” He put his paw on my knee a few times. I pet his head & ruffled his neck, then he quickly put his chin on my knee then ran back to the other dogs and that was that. 

Dogs, all dogs are amazing. A dog I did not know sensed my sadness & cared.

I also love the photos of Piper, especially the top one  

[Mack2018]

3 hours ago, Sassy said:

@Mack2018

I didn't think I would be able to look at Piper's photos so soon. I started looking at the odd one at first. It brought me such comfort. Her big smile just puts a smile on my face. And her personality truly comes through in her photos. I realized right away that her photos would help me heal. I understand how it can take others more time to look at the photos. You are right that we are so lucky in this day and age to capture all these wonderful memories. 

Thank you for sharing your story of how you adopted Mack. They really do choose us, don't they? Maybe one day you will be able to rescue another one and give him/her a loving home. When the time is right, of course.

Piper came from a litter of pups that my mom's dog had. Piper was the runt of 8 puppies. I hadn't planned on getting a dog, and hadn't really considered it. I've always been a cat person and had two other cats at the time. My mother came for a visit and brought Piper with her so that I could meet one of the puppies. I fell in love immediately. Piper and I bonded right away. We had such a strong connection. Since I hadn't planned on getting a dog, I didn't know much about owning one. I didn't even have all of the dog accessories that one needs when bringing home a new puppy. None of that mattered.  My life changed immediately and I adapted my lifestyle for her.  I got all the accessories that we needed, and learned what I needed to know about dogs. Piper and I figured it all out together.  From the start she brought such joy and happiness to my life.

Today was a rough day. Full of sadness and several breakdowns. I just let myself feel the sadness and have the breakdowns. I know there will be good and bad days. Today was one of the bad ones. 

I was able to speak to my doctor today. He booked me an appointment for Thursday morning. Hopefully I can start to get the help that I need. I understand that I am grieving right now and that it's a process, but I also realize that I'm slipping into a severe depression. I'm trying to prevent that. 

I hope that Mack comes to visit you tonight. I know what comfort it must bring you when he visits. He knows you still need him. 

[Mack2018]

@Sassy

I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough day. My afternoon didn't go so well but that's okay, I'm allowed to have bad days and so are you. I went to check the mail and there was a card from Mack's vet. A beautiful card acknowledging our loss. Even though it was a beautiful thing to get, it was also heart breaking. I love my vet and so did Mack.

Thank you for sharing your story about how you and Piper met. You were destined for each other, and yes, they really do choose us. I'm happy that you were able to get an appointment to see your doctor. It's a starting place...one foot in front of the other...keep moving. I hope my boy comes for a visit tonight...I miss him terribly.

Here's the card my vet sent, she is so awesome.

 

[Mack2018]

3 hours ago, MelsGone said:

Hi @Sassy I understand completely how you feel. Also in response to your post about wanting to be around/see dogs by going to the dog park, I would like to share a brief story with you, perhaps it will make you smile.

In 2006 after I lost my first dog “Drexel” (my everything), I too found myself at the dog-park, only it was a dog- park in NYC, & dog walkers  bring several dogs each to the park, so no one noticed that I did not bring a dog, even though the sign at the gate said: “You Must Have A Dog To Enter Park”. - Which got me teary-eyed right there, but I went in, regardless. I sat my dogless self away from everyone on a bench that wrapped around a big tree & watched them play. It wasn”t before long, my eyes were shut tight as I tried not to cry/breakdown. It was then I felt something lean it”s weight against the side of my legs... I looked down, and I’ll never forget him - a very light Blonde Irish Setter Mix was just sitting there leaning against me, panting, and watching the other dogs. And when he saw that my eyes were looking down at him he gave me this look like “I’ll be your dog..” He put his paw on my knee a few times. I pet his head & ruffled his neck, then he quickly put his chin on my knee then ran back to the other dogs and that was that. 

Dogs, all dogs are amazing. A dog I did not know sensed my sadness & cared.

I also love the photos of Piper, especially the top one  

@MelsGone I love that story! What a special thing to experience. :-)

[MelsGone]

@Mack2018 Yes, the dog park story is unique. I hope Mack visits you tonite as well! We received a card from our vet last week and inside on cardstock, they had included/printed Mel’s “pawprints”. That made us cry happy/sad tears.

[Sassy]

@MelsGone

Thank you for sharing that lovely dog park story. It did bring a smile to my face and brought me a bit of comfort.  Dogs are truly wonderful.  I hope I can meet a dog who can confort me the way that Irish setter did for you  

 

[Sassy]

@Mack2018

What a beautiful card that your vet sent.  I can understand how it might be sad but also comforting at the same time. 

Today marks one week since I lost Piper. I woke up sad but not all consuming sadness. I let myself just reflect on the last week and my last days together with Piper. Today is okay, so far. 

I'm starting to consider going back to my apartment, maybe even attempt to sleep there.  I'm starting to think that maybe I should be in the space that I shared with Piper.  I'll see how it goes over the next few days. 

I hope that today is a good day for you.  I hope that you can enjoy some happy memories of Mack today.

 

[KayC]

What beautiful things you all have shared here!  The story of the dog at the dog park, the picture of the dog grinning (what a cute picture!  I used to have a dog that grinned like that!), The story of the Rainbow Bridge, I love that, it's so comforting.  

I see us as a tribe, sitting around a fire, sharing.  What a beautiful group of people (and animals represented here!).

[Mack2018]

27 minutes ago, KayC said:

What beautiful things you all have shared here!  The story of the dog at the dog park, the picture of the dog grinning (what a cute picture!  I used to have a dog that grinned like that!), The story of the Rainbow Bridge, I love that, it's so comforting.  

I see us as a tribe, sitting around a fire, sharing.  What a beautiful group of people (and animals represented here!).

@KayC

Yes, a beautiful group of people here. It helps me so much to read stories; the happy and the sad. What a lovely thought of all of us sitting around a fire sharing our stories, sharing laughter and tears, understanding each others pain as no one else can. Friends in happiness and partners in grief.

[Sassy]

@KayC

You are so right. This is truly a group of beautiful people and pets. This group has helped me tremendously and it still helping me. Just having a place to express my grief and pain with those who understand is to helpful and comforting. 

I've been reading some of your other posts. Your words are so kind and soothing. I'm sure that many people appreciate the time you take to respond to so many of these posts. 

I hope that one day I will be strong enough to help others through this process. It's a horrible and painful process but I do think that we come out stronger in the end. Maybe that's so that we can help others through the same process. 

[Mack2018]

4 hours ago, Sassy said:

@Mack2018

What a beautiful card that your vet sent.  I can understand how it might be sad but also comforting at the same time. 

Today marks one week since I lost Piper. I woke up sad but not all consuming sadness. I let myself just reflect on the last week and my last days together with Piper. Today is okay, so far. 

I'm starting to consider going back to my apartment, maybe even attempt to sleep there.  I'm starting to think that maybe I should be in the space that I shared with Piper.  I'll see how it goes over the next few days. 

I hope that today is a good day for you.  I hope that you can enjoy some happy memories of Mack today.

 

@Sassy

I hope your day is filled with beautiful memories of Piper. Take that walk, get a cup of coffee, and sit on that bench with your memories. Thinking of you.

[Roby I miss you]

Hi, I’m new here. I signed on because we had to euthanize our 17 year old doggie. He had cancer for more then 3 years. The vet said he was suffering and that We were wrong to keep him alive so long. He was our baby before we had kids and he was our world. Neither one of us could do it and so we keeped him alive for so many years. Finally my husband took him to the vet and she said his organs Have being failing. It’s really hard to understand that he is gone. I cry so much, that my kids are telling my husband that they don’t want to see me so sad. But I can’t help it. 

[AJWCat]

Hello @Roby I miss you, I am sorry to hear about your doggie. It is natural to be very sad. I lost my cat almost six months ago and I still miss him.

In time, you will get better. I know at this moment, it does not seem that is possible. Your wonderful dog is no longer in pain, your husband did the right thing to finally ease his suffering.

[Mack2018]

5 hours ago, Roby I miss you said:

Hi, I’m new here. I signed on because we had to euthanize our 17 year old doggie. He had cancer for more then 3 years. The vet said he was suffering and that We were wrong to keep him alive so long. He was our baby before we had kids and he was our world. Neither one of us could do it and so we keeped him alive for so many years. Finally my husband took him to the vet and she said his organs Have being failing. It’s really hard to understand that he is gone. I cry so much, that my kids are telling my husband that they don’t want to see me so sad. But I can’t help it. 

Hi @Roby I miss you I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm new here too. I had to put my dog Mack to sleep 5 days ago. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I understand your grief and how hard it is to accept that they're gone. You have to let yourself grieve...you have to make the journey in order to heal. I don't know how old your children are but find a way to explain to them what grief is and how everyone's journey is different. Everyone  here is so kind and caring. You will be surprised how much it will help you to know another has walked in your shoes and knows how painful it is. Talk about your grief, tell stories about Roby, post photos....we're here and we care.

 

[Roby I miss you]

3 hours ago, AJWCat said:

Hello @Roby I miss you, I am sorry to hear about your doggie. It is natural to be very sad. I lost my cat almost six months ago and I still miss him.

In time, you will get better. I know at this moment, it does not seem that is possible. Your wonderful dog is no longer in pain, your husband did the right thing to finally ease his suffering.

Thank you AJWCat. Yes it does seem impossible to get better. I can’t look at any of his pictures, cause I think I would die. I keep remembering when he was a puppy and how he went along growing old. I wish I can have just one more hug one more kiss, one more day. I’m only hopping to see him in our lives in heaven, being able to see and hear. He was living in a dark and silent world, since he was blind and deaf. I want to know where he is, since he’s no longer with me. Where is my Roby. 

 

[Roby I miss you]

14 minutes ago, Mack2018 said:

Hi @Roby I miss you I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm new here too. I had to put my dog Mack to sleep 5 days ago. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I understand your grief and how hard it is to accept that they're gone. You have to let yourself grieve...you have to make the journey in order to heal. I don't know how old your children are but find a way to explain to them what grief is and how everyone's journey is different. Everyone  here is so kind and caring. You will be surprised how much it will help you to know another has walked in your shoes and knows how painful it is. Talk about your grief, tell stories about Roby, post photos....we're here and we care.

 

Thank you Mack2018. I understand you so much... the grieve is overwhelming and the desperation of thinking he is no longer here, is killing me. I can’t accept that he’s dead. My children are 8 and 9 years old. Thank God it did not affect them. They are my world too. I try very hard to not show them how I feel to not cry in front of them. 

[Roby I miss you]

1 hour ago, Roby I miss you said:

Thank you AJWCat. Yes it does seem impossible to get better. I can’t look at any of his pictures, cause I think I would die. I keep remembering when he was a puppy and how he went along growing old. I wish I can have just one more hug one more kiss, one more day. I’m only hopping to see him in our lives in heaven, being able to see and hear. He was living in a dark and silent world, since he was blind and deaf. I want to know where he is, since he’s no longer with me. Where is my Roby. 

 

I’m so sorry for your loss. How old was your Cat?

[Roby I miss you]

1 hour ago, Roby I miss you said:

Thank you Mack2018. I understand you so much... the grieve is overwhelming and the desperation of thinking he is no longer here, is killing me. I can’t accept that he’s dead. My children are 8 and 9 years old. Thank God it did not affect them. They are my world too. I try very hard to not show them how I feel to not cry in front of them. 

I’m so sorry for your loss. I saw pictures of Mack and he was adorable. So cute.

[Mack2018]

51 minutes ago, Roby I miss you said:

Thank you Mack2018. I understand you so much... the grieve is overwhelming and the desperation of thinking he is no longer here, is killing me. I can’t accept that he’s dead. My children are 8 and 9 years old. Thank God it did not affect them. They are my world too. I try very hard to not show them how I feel to not cry in front of them. 

@Roby I miss you

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Try to find comfort in knowing the he is no longer suffering. There is nothing easy about letting go...we love them... they are our babies. Today was not a good day for me, I cried a lot. I tried to wash Mack's blanket's but I just couldn't do it. I'm afraid to lose his smell, but I told myself that it's okay, I don't have to wash them yet. You should visit Rainbow Bridge if you haven't already.

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm