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Loss of my 36 year old daughter to Diabetes complications


Letty

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Please help me

I am grieving the lost of my 36 year old daughter. She was diagnosed at age 14 with type 1 diabetes. Life was always hard for her and I just never saw that. At 21 years old she met her love and went on her way. He has supported her and was always by her side. After like 12 years and like 5 miscarriages she finally got pregnant against Dr orders. My grandson born at 32 weeks. Now turning 4 years on Feb 27th. I never quite showed affection to my Jackie as much as I should of. They lived with us. When baby was 1 year in April 2015 my daughter lost her left leg, then May 2017 her right leg and developed a blood clot in her left hand which she lost within a day before the leg amputation. Oh my gosh she went through so much and I didn't see it. She always came home when she would check into hospital. Last year alone 3 times in hospial and twice to nursing home for antibitics intravenously. Came home from nursing home on Fri Jan 21st, just 6 hours and had to go back to hospital. I went to check on her at 2pm Saturday,  she was in icu by then, son in law had said she was on the 2nd floor, no one contacted him that she had been placed in icu. I visited her for only like a half hr cuz I had to go care for grandson. I should have stayed with her. She asked me, I kissed her and told her I'll be back in a while and I didn't cuz I was busy with stupid cookie order. Until 9:43pm hospital contacted me that her respiratory got so bad that she was intubated. She became an angel on Tuesday,  Jan 23rd. I want to go with her. I am not going to make it. I feel hor

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letty I am sorry for the loss of your daughter. She really had so much ill health and surgeries to contend with poor girl. Diabetes can have very severe consequences if not held under control and it can be hard to control even with diet and medication. Please do not blame yourself you were caring for the person your daughter fought so hard to have, her precious son and that is what she needed you to do.  You kissed her and gave her peace of mind that her son would be taken care of that is huge. You intended to come back once things were settled and had no way of knowing your daughter would deteriorate so quickly. Did you mange to see her in ICU or was it too fast? Now back to you. I think you have been an amazing support to your daughter and her family. All those operations and hospitalisations and rehab you were there and helping so please do not feel guilty that you did not see her at the time. All of us bereaved parents have felt the same way you did, that we could not cope without them and want to go with them because life is just too painful and overwhelming. Take it one day at a time sometimes an hour at a time deep breathe and trust you will be able to get through this awful sad time. You have your own family to support as well as your grandson and son in law who need and love you. Just understand your daughter is still with you by your side it is just you cannot see her for right now. She is healed and happy and safe and you will see and hold her one day again just not in this lifetime. You are not alone

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Yes, I saw her in icu. What hurts the most is she asked me to stay with her but I didn't. I told her i would be back soon. I left to go home to to finish cookies and take care of grandson. I could have told my husband to care for our grandson while I sit with Jackie in icu. After dropping cookies at my sister' s I stayed to visit with them instead. I am so overwhelmed with guilt and what I should have done. 

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letty there is always something people feel they should have done more, or differently, or said, it is misplaced guilt. You looked after and housed your daughter and family for years, and helped babysit  etc so there should be no guilt. Being there would not have changed the outcome in any way, she was too sick to survive, and declined very quickly. No one could predict the outcome. She would have been able to hear and feel you in the ICU the hearing is the last sense to fade so you did spend time with her. She would have heard you tell her you loved her and would have slipped away peacefully knowing her son and husband were in safe hands that is a gift.

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Hello, 

My daughter's 1 month anniversary is coming up on Friday, 23rd - I am so sad and hurting so bad. I just want to talk and hold her tight and tell her how much I miss her. She was my first born baby. I miss her so terribly - that my chest just hurts so bad. I am so broken inside and just have to keep going. When is this hurt going to go away? I just want to be normal again, they say it will never get normal - and that is the truth. I keep thinking of so many I should of... and Why didn't I... - I have 3 other adult children: 2 daughters ages 31 and 23 and my son turned 30 2 days after my oldest daughter 36 years passed. I know I should be here for them, but my oldest was the one that needed me the most and I wasn't there for her as much as I should have; she had her husband since age of 22 yrs. Now I have her 3 year old son to care for - he turns 4 on Feb. 27th - she was planning his birthday party. We will be having his party in her honor; I know I am going to be a total mess that day. 

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I don't know if this is where everyone can see my post. I need help, please

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letty you need to post on loss of an adult child thread by Mom of Justin the one with over 2 million views go to the last page and post there. We will help you any way we can ok

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