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15 days since I lost my 15 days old baby boy


mibaoMom

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15 days since I lost my 15 days old baby boy

I had a normal pregnancy with no complication, baby was born full term at 38.5 weeks on Dec 30 2017. He was perfectly healthy little angel when he was born, cry the first moment he was out of me and was almost able to flip himself when doctors put him on my chest, he searched for milk righ away...

We spent new year's eve in the hospital and we took our first family selfie when the clock turned 12, couldn't be happier. We took him home on new year's day (Day 2).  Day 4 we had nurse visited at home and baby had good weight gain. Day 5 we notice that baby hasn't pooped for 60 hours, so we went back to hospital and everything checked out fine, plus he pooped as soon as we returned home. Day 6 he is sleeping so much that I can hardly week him up to feed. Day 7 we went back to hospital again since he hasn't ate much for 24 hours. Doc ran blood test and says he has infection in his blood and they will put him on antibotics over night. Day 8 morning, baby was transfered to Children's hospital since Doc confirmed that baby is having meningitis. After being in NICU  for 3 days, Day 11, Jan 12, Doc told us that baby will have no chance of fully recover (best case senario he will not be able to hear, see or eat by himself, worst case senario he will leave us). Day 12, Jan 13, Doc says they coudn't save our little one. Baby left us on Jan 14 in Daddy's arm. 

We cry we suffer we don't know what's ahead of us, and if it will ever get better...
I always think about his little hand, the feeling of hold him, think about every ficial expression he's had, I grab on his cloth to remmber his baby scent...

I don't understand how a perfect healthy little angel can suddenly die...I wonder how our life can go on...

 

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My girl is in heaven

Mibaomom.  First let me tell you how very very sorry I am over your terrible loss of your precious son. And to know he looked perfectly healthy when he was born. The shock of it is very hard to deal with. .  My 17 year old daughter died very unexpectantly in the shower.  She was perfectly healthy. They think it was a cardiac arrthymia but was totally unexpected. You are so new and raw to your grief. Right now you are struggling with so many emotions. Just get up, shower, eating, everything will be difficult.  You have come to a very good site for help.  If you go to loss of a child, then click on loss of an adult child, the >> arrows will take you to the latest posting. It is for child loss of any age  and there are a lot of kind comforting parents there who will hold your hands.  We have all been and are in your shoes.  Let us help you out on this life long journey.  You won’t believe this now, I know I didn’t, but u will with a lot of hard work and time weave your grief into a new normal life, a life none of us want but are left with.  Every now and again a tiny ray of light will poke thru.  Right now u just have to take a day or hour or minute at a time.   Don’t try to think too far ahead.  I hope you come on over to loss of adult child and let us hold your hands.  You never have to be alone. We are all there your you.  Also if you want someone to talk to on phone or email I can help you there too.  Take care. Luanne

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mibaomom I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby son. Infections in babies can be very serious, and meningitis is very very serious often with a very poor outcome. being in NICU and knowing his prognosis would be so poor if he recovered must have broken your hearts. I used to work in NICU as a nurse so I understand the roller coaster journey of a very sick baby and how the parents feel. There is never enough time to have with your child. I lost my eldest son at the age of 24yrs over 2yrs ago and I would give anything to have him back and be able to see him. hug him and talk with him. There is never enough time, and I am sorry you only had a couple weeks with your baby boy. Both you and your husband have been through hell and back are probably sleep deprived confused and angry that this happened to you. Why? That is a question we have all asked and is never answered. There is never a reason why it had to happen to our child our family it seems so unfair doesn't it? You need to self care, try and sleep when you can and take it one day at a time doing what you are able to each day. Don't think about the future or the past, concentrate on what you can do here and now to get through each day. It will get easier in time but that takes a long time to happen I am sad to say. Just come here and post and we can help to support you, having all lost a child ourselves. Take care

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