Members Michaels Mom Posted January 25, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2018 I don't know how to talk to anyone on here. Can someone please tell me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My girl is in heaven Posted January 25, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2018 Michaels mom. I’m so sorry for the loss of your boy. Go to forums, click on loss of a child, then loss of an adult child there is a green circle with a white peg on it click on that then two arrows>> will take you to the most recent post it’s like page 2460or close to that. On the at site is where all parents who have lost a child on any age are. Every different age, circumstance, some been here for years, some new and every one in between. This is an excellent forum for grieving parents. We walk with each other every step of the way. I lost my 17 yr old daughter six years ago. I came here last April and there is so much wise and compassionate support. Please come to that site and tell us about your precious son. We will hold your hands and walk with you thru every step of this life long journey that none of us want to be on. You never have to grieve alone and everyone here will understand what your feeling. Hope you join us soon. Luanne. Hold on dear we are all here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My girl is in heaven Posted January 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 Michaels mom. R u still there. U want to come on the parents site and talk with us. We really do understand what your going thru and we will help you. I can call or if you want to e mail...anything I can do to help you. Luanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michaels Mom Posted January 29, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 Just knowing you are there keeps me going. I can't face this yet. When I acknowledge it in anyway a vice grip grabs my heart and I have to let go or I will die from a shattered heart. I tried the day I got on here. I need a do over. I will go and he will stay. How can we have nothing to say in regards to our child's death. This just can't be. This is the ultimate decision and I don't get to have an opinion at all. I don't want to hear he is in heaven. He doesn't belong in heaven. He belongs here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 Michael'sMom, I too, am a Michael's mom... and suffered the same fate of losing him too early. I understand what you are saying in that we didn't have a say when he left us. I too, would have traded places with him in a minute...a heartbeat. None of this was fair, none of it was right..... but sadly we didn't get a choice. We weren't asked if we could let him go...our world stopped when we got the horrid call from a chaplain who said....I am so sorry for your loss...and now.... this is the new normal we have been forced into. Probably the whole first year I kept waiting for him to call or come through the door with a 'Mom you are never going to believe what happened to me." I now know that could never have happened. That was a little over 3 years ago and I almost choke when I think 3 YEARS. Right now your grief is so raw and your emotions bounce in your head and heart like little plastic balls stabbing your heart. I can tell you that you will slowly weave this into your being but grief is a life long reality. I keep MY Michael with me... I "talk" to him and, yes I still miss his physical presence, and yes the sadness can get overwhelming but I cannot change losing him and most times the pain just takes its place in my heart and I know that for Michael I need to keep his memories within and find some light that honors him and doesn't withdraw me from my husband, daughter or grandchild. Not an easy task but somehow you learn, and you will, but don't think that far ahead. Think of the next hour, the next minute as that is far enough for now. Like Luanne has said, we have a compassionate group on Loss of an Adult Child. Some newly bereaved, some bereaved longer that you or I could imagine right now. But know that you do not have to go this alone. And trust me, I have learned that no one understands this loss as someone who has suffered this loss. Hang on with both hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michaels Mom Posted January 29, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2018 The responses have touched me so deeply. I have to climb out of the darkness before I can reach out for the light. There seems to be more comfort in the darkness right now. I look at your beautiful Michael and I just don't see how you could bear the pain. It is making a difference knowing you all are out there. Suffering and sharing in unity. I talk to My Michael. I feel and see him in everything I do. Sometimes his absence fills me with rage. I see him in the store and have to check to make sure it isn't him, believing maybe a mistake was made. Then I realize I saw him and he was gone. There will never be an is with Michael. It will always be a was. This I think is the hardest thing to accept, the finality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted January 30, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2018 michaelsmom there is healing in sharing and supporting each other. This forum has been wonderful to me and I try and give back. Your son Michael's loss is still so new and raw that first year seems impossible to get through I know. At the moment you feel angry and confused and sad and frustrated and devastated and unable to cope and overwhelmed all at once I remember that clearly myself. Talking to Michael is good, he is still with you by your side you just cannot see him right now but you will one day I promise just not in your lifetime. Do you have any other children or family to help you? I lost my son in aug 2015 and it is still a struggle I miss him every day. It is a long lonely road in grieving but you are not alone we are here to help you and understand exactly what you are going through. keep posting let us help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michaels Mom Posted January 31, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 12 hours ago, Tommy's mum said: michaelsmom there is healing in sharing and supporting each other. This forum has been wonderful to me and I try and give back. Your son Michael's loss is still so new and raw that first year seems impossible to get through I know. At the moment you feel angry and confused and sad and frustrated and devastated and unable to cope and overwhelmed all at once I remember that clearly myself. Talking to Michael is good, he is still with you by your side you just cannot see him right now but you will one day I promise just not in your lifetime. Do you have any other children or family to help you? I lost my son in aug 2015 and it is still a struggle I miss him every day. It is a long lonely road in grieving but you are not alone we are here to help you and understand exactly what you are going through. keep posting let us help you. Just knowing you all are with me in this unbearable time of grief keeps me going. I am so sorry for all the pain and suffering you have have endured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Michaels Mom Posted February 4, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2018 It is the middle of the night again. It is like I am just waiting for that phone call again. The phone call that all parents on some level are terrified of every day of their child's life. It is like I am in an alternate reality. Maybe this is just a dream . When I wake up my Michael will be as he should be. But I can't wake up because I can' seem to sleep anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted February 4, 2018 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2018 michaelsmom that call will not come again you sadly already have had it. That call that completely shatters your world. My youngest son found out by Facebook. The police in Hawaii put out an appeal asking for people who knew his family. We had all relocated back to the UK in 2011 except for Tommy who wanted to stay in the USA. Ross got a condolence message from one of his old USA friends and contacted the coroner. He then called my parents and they came to tell me and my eldest daughter around 5 in the morning. We managed to get hold of my other daughter about seven hours later she was away at a camp. So I know the fear of the call because I had to wait for the hawaiian police and the ER doctor to come on shift and call me in the UK which was around 3am. Please join us on Loss of an Adult child by Mom of justin it is at the top of the conversations list with by far the most views. It is where we direct every new parent so we can all gather in one place and not run the risk of a post being overseen. We are mostly moms but we do have a few dads who post and a couple grandparents and welcome anyone who needs help and support from those who have walked in your shoes, felt how you feel and are trying to find life again after loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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