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Holiday Schmoliday


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Finding joy during this holiday is difficult,

you used to be here,

for all the festivities.

I smile for all those around me,

even though inside my  heart is heavy and aches.

I put on a show,

for all to see,

so no one will know.

That deep down,

it is not okay.

My present for all,

is the smile I show,

the lightness I do not feel,

sometimes it is hard to tell,

what I really feel.

What I know is that

darkness hovers,

the constant reminder that you are gone.

You will not walk through that door,

no matter how much I want you to.

I see you everywhere,

the smiles of others,

the smell of blueberry pancakes,

the books in the library,

talks with Dad.

I guess that is where the joy is.

 

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