Moderators KayC Posted June 7, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 7, 2018 Lisa, Just focus on your daughter when you go, you will get through this. And if you break down, that is okay too. I broke down at work. I remember getting my car worked on and the service place taking me back to work on their courtesy van (full of people) when it struck me that my husband had also ridden on this same van and I burst into tears...I couldn't quit crying the rest of the trip. Lord only knows what those people thought! It happens. We get through this. If they ever experience this loss they will be in our shoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mystic Posted June 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2018 Lisa, Today marks 5 months for me. I walk to the cemetery the 7th of each month to see him. I told him I don't know how I've made it this long. I honestly can't imagine going through the years without him. We always looked forward to summer. Loved going to the beach. Now I can't bear the thought of doing it. Even if I would be with other people it would be too difficullt. I still beg him to come for me. I know I shouldn't but that's how I feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tamimi Posted June 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 7, 2018 1 hour ago, Mystic said: We always looked forward to summer. Loved going to the beach. Now I can't bear the thought of doing it. We did a lot of camping at the beach. We loved walking on the beach together and it brought out the romance in him. The thought of going without him now is too overwhelming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 8, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 8, 2018 Tamimi, We loved to go camping together. I haven't been camping in the 13 years since he died, June 19, 2005. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lisaislost Posted June 8, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted June 8, 2018 So my bil and sil are coming to spend the weekend. I was initially thinking of having them help with his closet. But now I’m having a bit of a panic attack. I know i want them to help me. Hopefully by tomorrow I’ll have more clarity. These emotions are up and down. I’ve already pulled out the t shirts he wore( concert and sports) so i can make my daughters T-shirt blankets in a few years. The rest of the stuff doesn’t really have a sentimental value. Maybe it’s just stirring up the permanence of it! I get the camping thing. I didn’t camp but we were regulars at a local restaurant. Haven’t been there since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 9, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 I gave each of George's kids a favorite sweater he wore, something they could hold of his. I kept his bathrobe, his fishing vest, a beautiful Norwegian vest with hand stitching that he loved, the old raggedy worn out shirt, but most of the rest I donated to Sponsors (a place that helps inmates assimilate back into regular life...they get out with literally just the clothes on their back), he was always helping the lest fortunate so I somehow knew inside of me that's what he'd want done with it. I probably wouldn't have cleaned out his clothes as soon as I did except his closet rod broke, dumping all his clothes on the floor and I somehow felt like it was a sign that it was the time to deal with it. At the time I boxed them up and they sat there for 1 1/2 months, but it got me started anyway. I had to sell his car right away and cleaning out the trunk was hard, but nothing compared to cleaning out his trailer that he stayed in during the work week (he had a long commute and after 3 accidents in one month I made him stay nearer his job four days a week so he wouldn't kill himself or someone else)...I remember helping him get that trailer ready, making it his, and everything about it was him. God I miss that man! Sorry, I digress. I hope it helps you to have your BIL and SIL with you as you go through it. I know I never should have attempted cleaning out George's trailer as soon as I did, nor should I have tried to do it by myself, I wish I'd had my daughter there with me. No one brought me comfort quite like her. I'm too cotton-pickin' independent for my own good sometimes! This is a time to recognize and realize that we need help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunflower2 Posted June 9, 2018 Members Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 1 hour ago, KayC said: This is a time to recognize and realize that we need help! Totally! Hard to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lisaislost Posted October 28, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted October 28, 2018 I'm just checking in after a few months of being away. I'm a teacher so my daughters and I did a lot of traveling this summer, crossing things off the list of things we were going to do as a family. For the most part, I do feel like I'm moving forward. I am coming up on my 1 year anniversary. I still haven't cleaned out his closet but that's ok because I don't need to yet. For his year anniversary of passing, the girls and I are going to do some Christmas shopping and just spend the day together. I still meet with my grief group every Wednesday at a local Panera and it's amazing to see all of our stories evolve. I can't believe how quickly a year has come but at the same time, it feels like yesterday. I think of you all often and hope you are well. This group was an amazing source of comfort in my early months. KayC. you are a special person! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 28, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted October 28, 2018 Hi Lisa! It's always good to hear from people who have been gone a while. Hard to believe it's nearly a year. One thing I've noticed, time has a way of marching on no matter what we're going through. It knows no respite. I, too, am grown close to my grief support group and am amazed at the progress each one has made. This is a hard journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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