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My life is really a mess. My parents are on the verge of divorce. I broke up with my boyfriend. My academics are a complete failure. I feel like ending my life. I have tried using alcohol and drugs to get relief from my stress. But, they give only temporary relief and I will be back to square one after being sober.
Last midnight, I went to the bar and drank until I got satisfied. I was driving back home all alone. Suddenly, I lost my control and I drove my car against an electric post. Luckily, my life was saved. My face was hit against the steering and there were bruises on my face. I lost my front teeth and had to undergo treatment at an emergency dental clinic in Toronto.
I really do not know what to do in this stage of life. I understand that I will end up in big trouble if I continued like this. I do not even have good friends to talk to. Can anyone of you please give some advice on what should be done? Please give some genuine replies and suggestions. Thanks in advance!

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Dear Marila,

I'm very sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I know life is not easy. And you have a lot going in a short period of time. We all go through moments when we want to give up on life.

Please know a lot of people love you and care about you. And would not want you to suffer in silence. There is help in the community and through church. I know its very hard to do sometimes, but you have to hang on. Things do get better but they take time. I try to do simple things, like read, write, watch a happy movie. Try to reach out to family and friends. I'm not sure how old you are but I found this information since you are in Canada:

Welcome to our general, non-counselling contact form. If you are a young person and are struggling with a problem big or small, please call 1-800-668-6868. We are always available, 24/7/365. For more information about fundraising and event opportunities across Canada, please visit our Regional Information pages.
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Hi I'm sorry to hear about what's going on in your life. I understand that you're friends arent good friends which makes you feel you cannot talk to them. I have the exact same problem. Take things one step at a time. Pick a small amount of things to work on. For example getting over your ex. Love yourself first, take time to heal from the breakup, delete contact, do things that will keep you busy but thay don't involve alcohol or drugs. I know I'm feeling the same. Try to understand that you're parents love you but will be happier within themselves to be apart know that thay divorce pain will heal If you allow yourself to understand that they no longer want to be together thay doesn't mean they do not have love for one another. It's ok to fail pick yourself up and try again. You will never know until you fail, now look at something you will enjoy maybe arts, something academic focus on something that makes you happy and push and pursue to make it happen whether it be a subject making yourself look nice. Small things like keeping busy socialising will help. It takes time and you will make it through. You aren't alone we are here to support one another 

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  • 4 months later...
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I grew up in a broken home with dysfunctional parents and relatives. I decided to seek help in therapy and found support and a place to feel a lot of the feelings that I couldn't as a boy and adolescent. My older brother kept urging me to try Al-Anon meetings (our mother was an alcoholic). I did go to the meetings, but it just felt like something was missing... 

After some time spent in Al-Anon, someone suggested that I go to a similar group called ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics). I fully expected it to be just another thing that might give me some pointers, but wouldn't really help me in the way I knew I needed it. 

I have found my own recovery in this program. I'm sorry to say that I don't know what will work for you or anybody else. I believe that different people find the help they need in differerent places; and that's okay. 

I hope for you, @Marila, that you will keep whatever hope compelled you to reach out for help, as you have so courageously done here. I hope you won't give up until you've found what works for you. It took me 33 years to find what works for me. In that time I was hospitalized numerous times, arrested once, and lived for too long in a constant state of anguish and suffering. 

I do believe that whatever help you need is out there, somewhere. 

And, however much it feels so, you are not alone in what you're going through. No one can understand the depths of your own pain and sorrow, but there are those of us out there who have lived with similar types of suffering. There is an end to the type of suffering that leads us to do desperate things (and I am not talking about the end of our life). 

When you do make it, you will help so many people with your story. (reading what you shared here helped validate my experience and truth)

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  • 2 years later...
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Larry W.

My wife passed away on April 18th, 2020, and, since then, I have learned to just deal with things on a daily basis.  That has given me some 'breathing room' to try to understand what has happened.  (That should be easy, but, when your world gets tossed upside down and around, it's almost impossible.)

I mention this because I feel that I understand where you are in life.  ("Been There, Done That" - BTDT - does, occasionally, have some validity!)

The fact that you ARE aware of your situation is actually a very GOOD thing.  (I was numb for at least 6-weeks and didn't even know it!)  I trust that you have accepted your new perspective as your new reality and, having done that, you CAN now begin to improve your "Lot In Life."  (As I've told myself many times, "My lot (in life) may not BE a lot, but it IS my life.)

I know I'm "wordy", but hang in there with me for awhile!

The ONE indelible fact that I've learned is that ...

When You Are Sad & Depressed, You Are Living In The Past.

When You Are Anxious & Worried, You Are Living In The Future.

When You Are Capable Of Experiencing Joy and Are At Peace With Yourself,

You Are Living In "The Here & Now."

And ... consider THIS:

"The Present Is A Gift - That's Why It's Called "The Present")

So, once you unwrap your "Present", take a moment to appreciate it and, then, accept that it's an opportunity to "begin anew."  Try to smile as you begin to consider how your life could be better. 

Jot down what's important to you and the things you are (or should be) grateful for.  If you (or Canada's Health Insurance Plan) can accommodate it, you should consider contacting a professional therapist who can provide some guidelines to help you "center" your life.  (Trust me on this one - it took me decades to accept that my depression wasn't 'normal' and, to my amazement, could be simply rectified by a seratonin reuptake inhibitor!)

I could easily "Sail On" here, but, by now, I think you get my point; i.e., YOU are the "Captain Of Your Ship" and, as such, must "Take The Helm" and "Steer A Course Through The Storm To Safety."  (I apologize for the nautical references, but my time in the Navy made quite an impression on me!)  

I wish you WELL.  I believe you CAN do what's necessary to make your lot in life a better one.  Keep posting in here and, above all, keep reaching out.  It's important!

 

 

 

 

 

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