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Beautiful pictures!  I'm glad you have a good summer lined up, so important to have things to look forward to.  I'm not there right now, a friend dying of cancer, sister very disabled and has dementia, depending on me.  My bright spot is Kodie, my little puppy, here he is worn out after a trip and late night play date.

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Autocharge

Hi All

Carla and her son came out for 10 days, we had a good time and gots lots of pics. even a bear in a tree that almost pooped on my head.

I had an interesting talk with her son alone in the middle of the night(something was on my mind and just had to have a talk, couldn't sleep ). Her son is Pentecostal also. He gave me some more background on Carla and her husband(his Dad). It turns out that in the later years of her marriage her husband(his dad) had a drug problem (crack cocaine ) and the marriage was doing poorly. He had a heart attack in the hospital in a vegetative state till his body weight was down to 105lbs. His son stated to me at the time he wished his father would die. but He didn't , he woke up and was alive and clean for two years "The miracle". Her son tells me god took him (another heart attack) before he could start doing drugs again. He also tells me of two times were he has healed people of their sickness with his hands and prayer. Then he tells me that Carla had a bad felling that something was going to happen to me while she was here and god would reveal him self to me and I would be saved. She brought her son to help / heal me when needed.

Carla and her son left a couple of days ago, and nothing happened as she had fore seen.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Not sure what to think?

Carla has had several bad, sometimes abusive relationships. I'm not that way. I treat her good and with respect sometimes like a queen. It's how I was raised besides if I didn't my Dad would kick my butt. LOL

I'm trying to figure out why i'm writing this post also.

I guess i feel as if it's only a matter of time before her religion separates us again. I don't want this but its not my choice.

WHAT SAY YOU?

Autocharge (moving forward ) 

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Gail 8588

Autocharge, 

Well, you are living an interesting life.  I really do admire how you have put yourself out there, both in your volunteer work and in your personal relationship. 

Being in a relationship with a person with a different religious/spiritual outlook than yourself is tricky.  IMO, I think it is important that both parties respect the other person's right to their own beliefs. If Carla really sees your conversion to her faith as essential to your being together,  then I think it probably won't work out.  But if she can allow you to believe (or not believe) as you choose and you allow her to do the same, it could work out. 

In what her son told you, apparently she thought you were going to be "saved" during this visit.  That didn't occur.  She is probably trying to figure out what that means for your future together. 

No matter how this turns out, she clearly cares for you very much.  I know this has been an emotional rollercoaster for you, but I do think it is worth the effort to have a shot at a loving relationship again. 

Good luck.

Gail 

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16 hours ago, Autocharge said:

Hi All

Carla and her son came out for 10 days, we had a good time and gots lots of pics. even a bear in a tree that almost pooped on my head.

I had an interesting talk with her son alone in the middle of the night(something was on my mind and just had to have a talk, couldn't sleep ). Her son is Pentecostal also. He gave me some more background on Carla and her husband(his Dad). It turns out that in the later years of her marriage her husband(his dad) had a drug problem (crack cocaine ) and the marriage was doing poorly. He had a heart attack in the hospital in a vegetative state till his body weight was down to 105lbs. His son stated to me at the time he wished his father would die. but He didn't , he woke up and was alive and clean for two years "The miracle". Her son tells me god took him (another heart attack) before he could start doing drugs again. He also tells me of two times were he has healed people of their sickness with his hands and prayer. Then he tells me that Carla had a bad felling that something was going to happen to me while she was here and god would reveal him self to me and I would be saved. She brought her son to help / heal me when needed.

Carla and her son left a couple of days ago, and nothing happened as she had fore seen.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Not sure what to think?

Carla has had several bad, sometimes abusive relationships. I'm not that way. I treat her good and with respect sometimes like a queen. It's how I was raised besides if I didn't my Dad would kick my butt. LOL

I'm trying to figure out why i'm writing this post also.

I guess i feel as if it's only a matter of time before her religion separates us again. I don't want this but its not my choice.

WHAT SAY YOU?

Autocharge (moving forward ) 

I was Pentecostal in my youth.  It can be radical in their beliefs.  I saw things I knew were not of God and was led out of it.  I think sometimes people believe their "prophesies" but they are not...in the old testament they stoned false prophets to death.  How many who prophesy are off in some of them?  I don't pay a lot of mind to it, quite honestly.  I do think her religion has a grip on her and fear the same thing you do, that it will rear it's head again.  I think you both love each other, that is not in question, but it is hard for people to co-exist with differing beliefs like this, esp. when they're strongly entrenched.  It might help for the two of you to get couples counseling.  I truly wish you both the best but I admit feeling ominous when it comes to your future...the Bible says not to be unequally yoked, and she will take this to heart.  We cannot change who we are/believe for someone else, so she chooses to believe you will become a Christian and can ride off into the sunset together.

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16 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

IMO, I think it is important that both parties respect the other person's right to their own beliefs. If Carla really sees your conversion to her faith as essential to your being together,  then I think it probably won't work out.  But if she can allow you to believe (or not believe) as you choose and you allow her to do the same, it could work out. 

I totally agree with this statement!  

BTW, BEATUIFUL pictures!  I love the one of the bears!  Glad you did not get eaten!  LOL  I've encountered bears here and much wildlife, I love all but the cougars.  I have enough healthy respect for them to want to keep a long distance from them.  I cannot eat apples with my diabetes (25 carbs each), but I grow them for the deer.  I love to watch them come feed.  A storm took my trees down but they are still alive and as it makes it easier for the deer to get at, odd as it looks, I let them be.

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Autocharge

Hello all

My dad and his friend came out for a week and now my daughter is here. Fun Times.

Some more pics.

Autocharge.

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Gail 8588

Autocharge,

Fabulous photos! Thanks so much for sharing them and for sharing that you are having fun.  It is so good for those of us still struggling to engage in life again to know it's possible to have fun. 

Enjoy spending time with your daughter.

Gail

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Oh wow, so beautiful!  I hope you have a great week!

8 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

It is so good for those of us still struggling to engage in life again to know it's possible to have fun. 

My life is all about taking care of my sister with dementia, her going blind, having broken her glasses and dentures, cooking for her, taking her to doctors, etc.  But perhaps someday there will be some good in my life again...

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Autocharge
On 7/23/2021 at 8:24 AM, KayC said:

Oh wow, so beautiful!  I hope you have a great week!

My life is all about taking care of my sister with dementia, her going blind, having broken her glasses and dentures, cooking for her, taking her to doctors, etc.  But perhaps someday there will be some good in my life again...

Sorry to hear it KayC.

 

here's one for you.

caught this guy snooping around.

autocharge

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Gail 8588

I guess you don't take a bag of trash out in the dark.  Would hate to accidentally bump into this neighbor!

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Gail 8588

Great story Kay!  Life gives us such hysterically funny moments, when we can look at them in hindsight.  I can see you trying to get Arlie to bark, and your neighbor thinking you are nuts walking slowly backwards barking at your dog.   

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Roxeanne
10 hours ago, KayC said:

BARK, ARLIE, BARK!!!  Nothing, he hid behind me (all 140 lbs of him).  I thought, "Maybe he just needs the idea..." so I barked!  Ruff, ruff, ruff!  Nothing.  That's when I noticed my neighbor (

Very funny story Kay..

i hope your life will be better soon! 

It's a wish for all of us...

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Rhonda R

There will be good in your life. It might not be the same good, and at the time maybe all you will be able to take in is how much you miss your spouse being there, but there is good. Arlie was a good thing in your life and brought you so much joy and so many great memories, like the bear story. You do deserve it. 

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I'm glad I brought you a smile...yes life does have it's funny moments, when we least expect it!

Last night I was blessed with a neighbor who gave me a cooked, cleaned, freshly caught crab...dinner!  Along with Keto chocolate peanut butter mousse .  Kodie loves crab too!  ;)

 

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Jttalways

Awesome pics. Thanks for sharing.

@Kay C So sorry to hear about your sis Kay. I wish you all the love, happiness and good vibes.

Off topic, does anyone get gut punched out of nowhere? I just googled my husband's name to see what would come up and his orbituary did. When I read it, my stomach dropped and all the air went out of me. This happens to me sometimes with certain "triggers." 

Hope you all are well. 

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I think someone mentioned getting punched yesterday, I don't remember the scenario but honestly, triggers can hit at any given moment.

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Autocharge

Hi. Y'all 

I got a video of this bear catching fish for dinner but file is to big for this forum. So here is a pic.

Time here is almost up.

Autocharge

 

 

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Gail 8588

Wonderful picture/video.  

Hope you were somewhere safe.  If I was close enough to see, or  video a bear, I think I would be terrified that he, or his good friends would make short work of me. 

They are majestic creatures and I am sure it was amazing to see him in his element  catching fish in the river. 

Gail

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foreverhis

Wow!  That is beautiful, though I suppose some might say a bear catching a fish to eat it for dinner isn't exactly lovely.  I think it's a fantastic reminder of nature and our place in it.

Also, your aerial photos are stunning.  We have many pilots in my family and in John's, so anything having to do with flying is special to us.  We feel it's one of the best ways to see the stunning beauty and grandeur of our precious world.  Thank you for sharing your adventures with us.

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Roxeanne

Living in the wild it's so exciting...and animals are free as  how they should be...

Our souls finds there the ancient secret links with the whole universe!

Thanks to share with us  that emotion...

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6 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I suppose some might say a bear catching a fish to eat it for dinner isn't exactly lovely.

It's for this reason and many more I live where I do, in the country, up in the mountains, where there is wildlife and nature, I love it..  I wish I could see your video!  

This is natural, part of the food chain, and I find it soothing to witness glimpses of them in their habitat, yes even on my property!  It's why I leave my three apple trees in place even after they fell in the storms, even though as a diabetic I can't eat them...the deer can and love them and since they still produce, I can't cut them.  Such a pleasure to watch animals!

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Jttalways

Awesome! Thanks for sharing! I love nature. I feel most at peace when i'm outdoors. Spent alot of time last year out in nature and it helped tons. 

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foreverhis

That is fantastic. It must have been even more so in person.

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Autocharge

Hi All.

Well Trip is now over, Back home now.

I'v started the remodeling of the house due to flood damage back in February during the Big Texas Freeze this year. Got the walls painted and I repaired the sheetrock.

I'm going with polished Concrete this time , tired of water damage. Also back to watching Texas High School football every Friday night . May start some wood working projects here pretty soon. When I returned home this time I saw what I had to do to make the house look good again, Not that it was empty without her. I didn't expect to see her (my Wife) when I opened the door. It felt like the house was mine, not ours. 

WARNING DRMA ALART BELOW. read at your own risk.

Carla and I are trying it my way now. I told her she had to talk to her kids, and that they had to except me for who I am and the way I am. She did and "they do". I also told her I wanted her to move in and travel with me this next summer, She said "ok". It's been a couple of weeks now and not much talk about moving in. She has "some things to figure out " she says. I'm asking my self how long do I let her "figure"?

The real question is How dose she do this and deal with her religion ? It's her choice. I feel like I'm asking her to choose between religion or me. But it wasn't this way 2 years ago when she was staying with me sometimes 4 nights a week and weekend getaways in the RV. We really did hit a wall in our relationship with this religion thing. I love her but if your relationship can't continue to grow, how do you let go when they are a good person and you like everything about them ?

Autocharge (moving forward "new normal")

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Autocharge, 

So good to hear from you. Glad you are living your new life. Loved all the photos from Alaska.

Relationships are a lot of work. Both parties figuring out what they can bend on and what they must stand firm on.  

I'm glad you met Carla and have given it a go, though it's been a bit bumpy.  I hope it works out where you can be together and both be happy.  It's clear you both care for each other a lot, or you wouldn't have so many, let's try again episodes.

Only time will tell if it will work out, but I really do admire you for putting yourself out there. 

Good luck, 

Gail

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Autocharge, I went through this when I was young, me a "believer," him not.  The Bible says not to be unequally yoked, and I think she's warring within.  I don't think it says that to restrict us but to protect us from what could come from two people not headed on the same path/beliefs/goals.  She needs to make a decision, this is not fair to you.  I feel she loves you very much or she would not still be with you.  I really wish the best for you, you've poured your heart and soul into this relationship, you deserve to be happy within it.  As Gail says, only time will tell.  I think your putting it out there and demanding a little more is essential for your own well being, it can't continue as it has indefinitely.

I'd love to see what you've done with your house if you take pictures!  Which is a good idea for insurance purposes.  It could be insurance would have covered damages if you filed a claim.

I recently had my house repainted, then got hit with several inches of rain last weekend and it damaged my siding where a contractor put a downspout on with a long screw going through it,. which caught the needles and plugged it tight so all that water hit the front of the house, it buckled/cracked so now I need it fixed.  Sigh, always something.  It's sunny all week so letting it dry out first.

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Autocharge
22 hours ago, KayC said:

I'd love to see what you've done with your house if you take pictures!  Which is a good idea for insurance purposes.  It could be insurance would have covered damages if you filed a claim.

 

Hello KayC

I did file a claim back in March and I'm still doting the I's and crossing the T's with it.

Below are some pics with new color on the walls.

Autocharge

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OMG, beautiful!!  Somehow I knew you'd do a beautiful job.  Wow!  My humble abode is nothing to write home about but it's home and I feel good that I'm doing my best to take care of it.  Just got it painted and now having a repair done to the siding, next year will replace the back of the garage/bldg when the price of lumber goes down (hopefully).

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Autocharge, 

The paint color looks great!  I think you will really like the polished concrete floors. So easy to maintain, look beautiful and God forbid won't suffer damage if there are future floods. 

Years ago, I grew up in Florida with Terrazzo floors, which were essentially polished concrete floors with little colored chips embedded in the concrete.  They were great.  For some reason I don't think they make them anymore.  

I know what you mean by walking in your house and seeing it, rather than seeing the absence of your wife.  John and I have had a cabin in the Ocala national forest since 1979.  For years after his death when I walked in, I only saw John's absence.  But now I see it, and things I can do to make it more functional and easier to take care of. I am going to remodel the kitchen, put in an on-demand water heater, and change up the bathroom to have a tub rather than just a shower. It will be more practical for when my young grandchildren  stay here.  It is my cabin now.  (I'm at the cabin now.)

Gail

 

 

 

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foreverhis
9 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

I know what you mean by walking in your house and seeing it, rather than seeing the absence of your wife.

 

9 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

For years after his death when I walked in, I only saw John's absence.

I'm mostly still at a place where I see John's absence.  I say, "Our this-or-that," though I am starting to find that "me" and "my" come easier than the first 3 years.  I can't help but wonder if one reason that I'm so far behind on projects, maintenance, and repairs--some things have been on "the list" since he died-- is that I don't see things as belonging to me alone.  Perhaps it's a subconscious notion of "If I change these things then John will be even further away from me and I will be letting pieces of him go."

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On 9/22/2021 at 7:08 AM, Gail 8588 said:

put in an on-demand water heater

I would love one of those!  My son put one in in his last house, not sure if he has one at his current home or not but if not I know he will.  Maybe next time my water heater/tank goes out I can get it switched to one.

15 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I'm mostly still at a place where I see John's absence.

It changed for me somewhere along this journey but I don't remember when, I imagine it varies for each of us timeline wise. ;)

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15 hours ago, foreverhis said:

Perhaps it's a subconscious notion of "If I change these things then John will be even further away from me and I will be letting pieces of him go."

In some ways Foreverhis, I feel that way too.  I also don't feel things as belonging to me, at least not yet. .  But, some things, I am trying to get fixed, because I know my husband would have wanted them fixed.  He was sick for years and a lot of projects didn't get done. I will try to do things that we put off for years. I think it would make him smile.

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It’s interesting to read other’s progress in this matter.  I can throw away anything of mine but nothing of his.  I will give away his things to family members if they want it because they will honestly use it.  But that is all.  I keep wondering when this will change.  When will this house and everything in it be only mine?

I am almost 3 years in.  We were very young when we met and were married for 35 years.  It’s difficult to adjust and think of myself as a singular person.  I still don’t.  It’s strange.

Btw @Autocharge, is that a pachinko machine I see???  I loved playing those when I was a kid!

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foreverhis
4 hours ago, KayC said:

I would love one of those!  My son put one in in his last house, not sure if he has one at his current home or not but if not I know he will.  Maybe next time my water heater/tank goes out I can get it switched to one.

It changed for me somewhere along this journey but I don't remember when, I imagine it varies for each of us timeline wise. ;)

Me too!  If/when our current water heater gives up the ghost, I think I will get an on demand, which we were talking about anyway.  The only thing I need to look into is electrical use and whether we get a break on rates for having a water conserving unit in a drought zone.  Electric car owners get a break on rates, so maybe...  Electric rates here are fairly high compared to gas, so I'll have to do a cost-benefit analysis.  John and I were both big fans of that.  Still, not having two gas units in the utility room would be nice.  Plus, even though we're not in a super cold zone, we do in fact have seasons--contrary to popular belief--and often have  60-70 nights well below freezing in December-February.  When we got the current water heater, we didn't just have the earthquake strapping redone, we had a blanket installed, which noticeably helped.

I have noticed a slow shift in my thinking so that saying "me" and "my" doesn't seem as foreign as it did the first 2 years.  I imagine that it will be a long journey until I see this house and all our belongings and not think of them as "ours."

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Autocharge
3 hours ago, SSC said:

Btw @Autocharge, is that a pachinko machine I see???  I loved playing those when I was a kid!

Yes it is.

I had to do some work on it to make it functional, Along with the custom cabinet I built .

I used my wood burning machine I built for one of my hobbies. I use Wood , water, and 2000volts of electricity to burn the wood.

Yes I have a very equipped game room. Pool table , Air Hockey , Foosball , darts , pachinko , Spiderman pinball , and a just recently broken slot machine (got to fix it one of these days). also  3 Tv's on the wall for Football Games. FUN FUN FUN. Also I built an Arcade machine in another room.

Autocharge 

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Wow, I played many of those games when I was younger at the pool halls. Centipede, frogger, space invaders, donkey Kong. I've also played MAME, on my computer but it's been a while. I think I have to revisit it now that I've seen all these games again. Nice console you built Autocharge.

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