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Ameliuhh

Lost my boyfriend/2 yr old daughter's father. Not confirmed whether suicide

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Ameliuhh

My boyfriend of 7 years passed away a month ago. He was involved in a fire that started in his bedroom. Door was locked, but he always locked his door. They ruled it as intentional but have no real evidence other than the fact that they ruled out every other option. Less than one percent of people in the US commit suicide by fire. I can't bring myself to believe he would do this, the last text he sent was "sorry for the late reply". Does anyone have any advice for me... I am taking care of our two year old daughter and just don't know how to cope. I keep researching the items in his room/ their flame temperature/ thinking about all the logistics of the fire and am just really needing answers that I don't know if I'll ever get. He was 24 years old. 

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Dear Ameliuhh,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your boyfriend. I'm so sorry for the pain and sorrow. I know you have a lot of questions. And only want an answer that makes sense. It seems to me that nothing ever makes sense when we are grieving. And no answers will ever be right or acceptable. There are so many raw emotions trying to process what happened.

I know everyone is different. And not everyone wants to try the same things. If you want to, maybe try speaking with a grief counselor, joining a support group, or journaling your feelings. I have also tried to visit sites like GriefShare.Org, What's Your Grief and Tiny Buddha for help. I've also discovered this book called the The Grief Recovery Method on YouTube. I know its hard. Our minds will not let us rest. And we desperately want an answer. I, too, keep trying. But maybe one day, I will be able to put it into context, but I can't right now.

Thinking of you. Sending you lots of hugs.

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Untiltomorrow

You must have so many questions..

did they rule it a suicide specifically or just rule the fire intentional? What did they rule the death? A suicide or accident? 

i agree that fire is a very unpopular method. 

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