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*momof3boys*

Holidays and grief

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*momof3boys*

I lost my son to suicide August 19th of 2015. So this Thanksgiving was my second without him. I went to our family Thanksgiving and all was well! But today I am struggling. Yesterday as family members talked about planning to have their first child and friends talking about what all their kids are doing really hit me today. I feel cheated. All I do is cry today and it's been a while since I've had a day like this. 

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Joseph777

i lost my brother to suicide in the house we grew up in. he was 23, i was 19. when he was 15 and i was 11 we carried our dead mom from her trailer to the house; she lived on the same property, but the state said we couldn't live with her because she was schizophrenic. i think she died of congestive heart failure; she was a heavy smoker and took lots of ibuprofin for pain. after we set her on the couch my brother went back to playing his computer submarine game. it broke his heart to lose her; he descended into a life of drugs which ultimately led to his suicide. after mom died we had thanksgiving dinners, but it just seemed like just turkey and potatoes; something was missing, even before my brother died. i think this is just life, mother. suicide is a statement that life has no meaning, purpose. but how do we know that, how can we make such a bold statement? i think sometimes the things people do and say are just plain wrong; and its okay to be wrong. i just wish we knew how wrong we were, and that we wouldn't harm ourselves, our mother's children

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