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BIJulie

Support for Aunts, Uncles and Cousins

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BIJulie

Hi all –

I’m sure you’ve noticed that the message boards seem a little different. We’ve streamlined the message boards. We’ve unified the forum and thread names and tried to make things less confusing. I hope that it has made things easier for you.

We are considering adding new threads to the topics and would love to hear what you would like to be added. You can write me at julie@beyondindigo.com to share your thoughts and suggestions. I would love to hear from you.

I am also still looking for message board monitors. If you are interested, please let me know!

Take care,

Julie

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kamedy

I lost my nephew when he was almost eight months old, and I didn't get to know him as well as I would have liked. I know that it is through no fault of mine, for we lived far apart, but I still sit back and wonder about the things he would be doing right now. I missed getting to know him personally, but it still didn't make his death any easier. He was kept away from me and my family intentionally the last time I would have been able to see him...alive. His "dad" made sure of that. I do not feel that his mother ever got over it, and I try to figure out ways that I can help her with her grief. She has other children, but seems to be scared to keep them close at heart. Is this a normal thing? I am not sure how to approach her on this, but sometimes feel like saying, "Do you realize you still have children that are alive and crave your love and attention?" I do not want to be rude or heartless, but I just do not understand. Her other children have been very close to me since they were born, and were like "my children" before I had any of my own. I love them so much, and cannot understand how their own mother seems to take them forgranted. Don't get me wrong, I know she loves them, but she doesn't really seem tuned in to them anymore. Can you please help me understand?

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kamedy

By the way little man...Happy Birthday! We all love and miss you so very much! You brother and sister miss you too! They talk about you all of the time! You are gone from this earth, but not forgotten! You will always be in our hearts and on our minds!

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kirksdad

kamedy, one of the key thoughts I have is how long has it been since your nephews death. Time is a real determining factor here when wondering how a parent will react to the loss. Reactions are very intense and pulling away from other family members is common. It is hard to understand the depth of loss when a parent has to watch their child die. Circumstances can make a difference, also. If it has been a couple of months I would tell you to be supportive and just sit and listen while your sister talks.

I know that it can be hard, but just telling her you will listen and she can say anything she wants without you judging her feelings or making comments that will upset her. I can truly say there is nothing more emotionally damaging than the death of a child. It is something a parent can work through, but never quite "get over". There is always thoughts and feelings that will remain with them the rest of their lives. Sometimes the parent is afraid to let their feelings out because of the pain they have expereinced from the loss. It is so hard. You might suggest a Compassionate Friends meeting if you have a chapter in your area, the ability to talk openly with others is a great help. Writing is also a good way to let ones feelings out. Maybe getting a nice journal for her to let her thoughts and feeling out into might help. Communication is the key, time plays such a factor in this type of loss.

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biadmin

Make a Buddy Connection

Feeling all alone? Wish you could talk one on one to a person who has suffered the same type of loss as you? Or maybe you are ready to move one with life and meet people in your area who have similar interests? Find a Buddy that understands your loss.

http://www.beyondindigo.com/buddyfind/index.html

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treeves913

My nephew CJ died almost a month ago. My deepest pain is seeing my sister and brother n law, who are such wonderful good people, in constant agony and heartache. It breaks my heart not to be able to do anything for them. CJ was my godson and I will forever miss him. I loved him from the moment my sister told me she was having a baby. My heart just hurts.

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Artina

Treeves913,

Your love for your sister's child, your nephew, will help heal her hurt. The loss of a child hurts so bad, but what hurts more is when family and friends start to expect the grieving parent to move out of their grief. There is no time frame for grief!!! Allow her to grieve the way she needs to grieve and never forget CJ.

P.S. Your sister ( and BIL) will need the people around her to talk about CJ's life and to never forget his B-day and Angel Day. A card that mentions his name with love will be very important to them around those latter dates.

Bless you and your family.

Tina

Mother to Chris, who crossed over on Jan 4, 2002.

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auntie

My sister emailed me this site. She has found support online recently and I asked if there was something for Aunties.

On July 28, 2005 at 4:26pm, my nephew, Chance, was born. He weighed 3lbs 5oz and was 17 inches long. My sister, my best friend, had been trying to get pregnant for about 9yrs and was finally blessed and got pregnant. She was so happy, she was glowing and I was overjoyed...I was going to be an Auntie. Her pregnancy went pretty smooth and she took very good care of herself. We were all very proud of her, how she ate well and was always thinking of her little Chance inside of her. I was so excited to feel him kick her belly. He had really strong legs and my heart just jumped realizing I would soon be able to hold him in my arms.

On July 27, 2005, my sister told me she was not feeling well. She had been cramping a little and made an appointment to see the doctor at 3:30pm. I was axiously waiting at work for her or my mom to call and let me know how she was doing. I finally received a call at 4:15pm from my mother. She sounded very scared when she told me they were on their way to the hospital from the doctor\'s office. She said \"we need you\". I left work and went straight to the hospital. I walked into a room full of nurses crowded around a bed. My sister lay in the bed with fear on her face and my mom stood in the corner with a worried look on her face like she had been crying. She told me they had not heard a heart beat in the doctors office. My heart shrank deep into my chest and I tried to catch my breath. The nurses despirately searched for the baby\'s heartbeat and then I heard it. There is is! I thought...but it was only hers. They brought in a big ultrasound machine to see if they could see it. The technician searched and searched, still nothing. By this time, her doctor arrived and stood next to the machine. Her face looked very somber and the room got quiet. She look at my sister and whispered \"I\'m sorry\". My heart dropped and my sister cried \"No, not my baby he can\'t be dead\". I held her in my arms and cried with her telling her \"I\'m sorry, I\'m so sorry\".

The next day she bravely pushed him into the world. Where there should have been the sound of a baby\'s cry, there was silence. For a moment we smiled, then we cried. She held him in her arms, rubbed his chest praying breath baby, breath, just breath for mommy. He was beautiful and perfect, so very cute. I almost thought I saw him breath, for a moment I had hope. We sat there and watched her and her husband bond with him and admire him. For a moment I got to hold him in my arms. He was so small and precious. I rocked him. I kissed his little cheek but it was cold. My little Chance.

I will forever remember those moments, however small, I had with my nephew. Now my heart aches to comfort my sister and fill her emptiness but I cannot. I want so much to take away the pain, but I cannot. I wish I could bring him back or turn back time, but I cannot.

So here I am.

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ribitsmom

Auntie-What a wonderful sister you are. I am so sorry for the loss your family has suffered. Just be there for your sister and brother in-law, they need you very much. Need to be able to talk about Chance.

Denise

Bridgettes mom 11-25-85/09-26-03

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magisee

Hello. My name is Maggie. I lost a son in 2004.

I know that I am new here and will probably sound like a broken record replying to this message board and its man different posting areas.

But recently I read an emotionally charged, extremely comprehensive grief book that has helped me so much in dealing with my loss.

A friend of mine recommended an author friend she knew. Her name is Katlyn Stewart, and she gave me her web address- http://understandinggrief.katlynstewart.com I went to the site and clicked on the grief book she had listed there- Song Of Cy: Understanding Grief. It took me to a publishers site where I bought the E-Book.

Anyway, I am getting long winded.

This book by Katlyn Stewart has helped me to understand so much of what I was feeling as a mother. Both emotionally and physically.

The author leaves no stone unturned.

I am so thrilled with this book, I wanted to post here in regard to it (and I dont post to messageboards)

If you have a chance, and can...check out the website. Maybe buy the book and see for yourself.

I will close in saying...

Here is to our healing of a loss greater than any loss I will ever know.

Maggie

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lilly50

I hope you do not mind my writing this in several areas of your forum but I read a book recently called "Song Of Cy: Understanding Grief" and it has helped me to cope with the loss of my beautiful grand daughter Amelia.

I am a member of Whiskey Creek Press publishers, and avidly read thier romances.

However at the beginning of October I noticed a book that was non-fiction that dealt with grief. Though I have read other books dealing with grief, this one touched me personally as well as to give me guidelines and helped me to understand so much of what is going on inside of myself as well as my family.

The authors name is Katlyn Stewart. She has done an amazing job in hitting the nail on the head in helping parents,grandparents and even friends understand what happens when we grieve,

I highly recommend it and will post this in several areas in the hope that it will help just one person like it did me.

Also on the Whiskey Creek page was her web addresss- http://katlynstewart.com. If you have a chance, read this book.

Thank you,

Lilly

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Guest Guest

To Chance's Auntie,

Your story moved me immensely. I did not yet tell my sister that I was going to post a message. She is a private person, so I will not reveal her name or my nephew's name.

My sister, like yours, lost her only child on November 2, 2005 . . . 26 days prior to his seventh birthday. My sister, nephew (who is also my Godson) and brother-in-law were in a car accident on 11/1/05 (All Saints Day). The axle of one of the wheels broke off, causing the car to flip over several times. No other cars were involved. My nephew was lucid immediately after the accident . . . he only complained of a belly ache. It was later determined that his liver and spleen were lacerated. They said "We have to be prepared." They could not stop the bleeding. Although I am told that this is true, I can't help but wonder if they really did do everything that they could have. With all of the advancements in medicine, it's hard to believe that more could not have been done. He was treated in one hospital for approximately twelve hours and was then rushed to another hospital which is known for excellent pediatric surgeons. They could not save him. I don't know what to do for my sister and brother-in-law. I just wish I could bring him back. It is so, so difficult to watch them experience such pain.

In addition to this incredible loss, my sister was pregnant at the time of the accident. We were told that that baby was fine. However, a month and a half later, we were told that he/she no longer had a heart beat. I have felt such anger towards God. However, I cannot doubt His existence . . . if I did so, where would I believe that my nephew were now? I have to believe . . . but I remain angry. I cannot see the other children in my family or in my fiance's family . . . it's too painful . . . I begin to resent those children . . . and I know that that's unfair to them.

My sister also endured physical injuries from the accident- a fractured heel and a two fractures in her lower vertebrae. It has been difficult to watch her use a wheelchair . . . to have to learn how to walk again. Physically, she improves daily. I just wish she had her baby. People have said “Well, she can have more children.” I don’t even have a response to that . . . NO one can EVER replace my nephew or ease the loss of my nephew . . . EVER.

The only thing that brings me comfort is thinking of my adorable and incredibly intelligent nephew talking and playing in Heaven . . . with other loved ones from my family. I just wish that we had had more time with him. I miss his humor, his sensitivity and his love. I miss hearing him call me Titi (Aunt).

My sister and brother-in-law are such attentive and loving parents. My sister keeps several files of my nephew’s artwork (in addition to the artwork that is displayed throughout the house). He loved to draw. My brother-in-law and nephew went on walks. During these walks, they befriended the cats of their neighborhood. My nephew used to help my sister bake . . . even things that he did not like the taste of! He did so simply because he enjoyed his time baking with Mommy! My brother-in-law taught my young nephew the names and titles of politicians. My nephew was well informed. He was learning karate and was beginning to play soccer. He was such a caring individual. They raised a wonderful angel.

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Guest Guest

To Chance's Auntie,

Your story moved me immensely. I did not yet tell my sister that I was going to post a message. She is a private person, so I will not reveal her name or my nephew's name.

My sister, like yours, lost her only child on November 2, 2005 . . . 26 days prior to his seventh birthday. My sister, nephew (who is also my Godson) and brother-in-law were in a car accident on 11/1/05 (All Saints Day). The axle of one of the wheels broke off, causing the car to flip over several times. No other cars were involved. My nephew was lucid immediately after the accident . . . he only complained of a belly ache. It was later determined that his liver and spleen were lacerated. They said "We have to be prepared." They could not stop the bleeding. Although I am told that this is true, I can't help but wonder if they really did do everything that they could have. With all of the advancements in medicine, it's hard to believe that more could not have been done. He was treated in one hospital for approximately twelve hours and was then rushed to another hospital which is known for excellent pediatric surgeons. They could not save him. I don't know what to do for my sister and brother-in-law. I just wish I could bring him back. It is so, so difficult to watch them experience such pain.

In addition to this incredible loss, my sister was pregnant at the time of the accident. We were told that that baby was fine. However, a month and a half later, we were told that he/she no longer had a heart beat. I have felt such anger towards God. However, I cannot doubt His existence . . . if I did so, where would I believe that my nephew were now? I have to believe . . . but I remain angry. I cannot see the other children in my family or in my fiance's family . . . it's too painful . . . I begin to resent those children . . . and I know that that's unfair to them.

My sister also endured physical injuries from the accident- a fractured heel and a two fractures in her lower vertebrae. It has been difficult to watch her use a wheelchair . . . to have to learn how to walk again. Physically, she improves daily. I just wish she had her baby. People have said “Well, she can have more children.” I don’t even have a response to that . . . NO one can EVER replace my nephew or ease the loss of my nephew . . . EVER.

The only thing that brings me comfort is thinking of my adorable and incredibly intelligent nephew talking and playing in Heaven . . . with other loved ones from my family. I just wish that we had had more time with him. I miss his humor, his sensitivity and his love. I miss hearing him call me Titi (Aunt).

My sister and brother-in-law are such attentive and loving parents. My sister keeps several files of my nephew’s artwork (in addition to the artwork that is displayed throughout the house). He loved to draw. My brother-in-law and nephew went on walks. During these walks, they befriended the cats of their neighborhood. My nephew used to help my sister bake . . . even things that he did not like the taste of! He did so simply because he enjoyed his time baking with Mommy! My brother-in-law taught my young nephew the names and titles of politicians. My nephew was well informed. He was learning karate and was beginning to play soccer. He was such a caring individual. They raised a wonderful angel.

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pumpkin112898

To Chance's Auntie,

Your story moved me immensely. I did not yet tell my sister that I was going to post a message. She is a private person, so I will not reveal her name or my nephew's name.

My sister, like yours, lost her only child on November 2, 2005 . . . 26 days prior to his seventh birthday. My sister, nephew (who is also my Godson) and brother-in-law were in a car accident on 11/1/05 (All Saints Day). The axle of one of the wheels broke off, causing the car to flip over several times. No other cars were involved. My nephew was lucid immediately after the accident . . . he only complained of a belly ache. It was later determined that his liver and spleen were lacerated. They said "We have to be prepared." They could not stop the bleeding. Although I am told that this is true, I can't help but wonder if they really did do everything that they could have. With all of the advancements in medicine, it's hard to believe that more could not have been done. He was treated in one hospital for approximately twelve hours and was then rushed to another hospital which is known for excellent pediatric surgeons. They could not save him. I don't know what to do for my sister and brother-in-law. I just wish I could bring him back. It is so, so difficult to watch them experience such pain.

In addition to this incredible loss, my sister was pregnant at the time of the accident. We were told that that baby was fine. However, a month and a half later, we were told that he/she no longer had a heart beat. I have felt such anger towards God. However, I cannot doubt His existence . . . if I did so, where would I believe that my nephew were now? I have to believe . . . but I remain angry. I cannot see the other children in my family or in my fiance's family . . . it's too painful . . . I begin to resent those children . . . and I know that that's unfair to them.

My sister also endured physical injuries from the accident- a fractured heel and a two fractures in her lower vertebrae. It has been difficult to watch her use a wheelchair . . . to have to learn how to walk again. Physically, she improves daily. I just wish she had her baby. People have said “Well, she can have more children.” I don’t even have a response to that . . . NO one can EVER replace my nephew or ease the loss of my nephew . . . EVER.

The only thing that brings me comfort is thinking of my adorable and incredibly intelligent nephew talking and playing in Heaven . . . with other loved ones from my family. I just wish that we had had more time with him. I miss his humor, his sensitivity and his love. I miss hearing him call me Titi (Aunt).

My sister and brother-in-law are such attentive and loving parents. My sister keeps several files of my nephew’s artwork (in addition to the artwork that is displayed throughout the house). He loved to draw. My brother-in-law and nephew went on walks. During these walks, they befriended the cats of their neighborhood. My nephew used to help my sister bake . . . even things that he did not like the taste of! He did so simply because he enjoyed his time baking with Mommy! My brother-in-law taught my young nephew the names and titles of politicians. My nephew was well informed. He was learning karate and was beginning to play soccer. He was such a caring individual. They raised a wonderful angel.

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pumpkin112898

To Chance's Auntie,

Your story moved me immensely. I did not yet tell my sister that I was going to post a message. She is a private person, so I will not reveal her name or my nephew's name.

My sister, like yours, lost her only child on November 2, 2005 . . . 26 days prior to his seventh birthday. My sister, nephew (who is also my Godson) and brother-in-law were in a car accident on 11/1/05 (All Saints Day). The axle of one of the wheels broke off, causing the car to flip over several times. No other cars were involved. My nephew was lucid immediately after the accident . . . he only complained of a belly ache. It was later determined that his liver and spleen were lacerated. They said "We have to be prepared." They could not stop the bleeding. Although I am told that this is true, I can't help but wonder if they really did do everything that they could have. With all of the advancements in medicine, it's hard to believe that more could not have been done. He was treated in one hospital for approximately twelve hours and was then rushed to another hospital which is known for excellent pediatric surgeons. They could not save him. I don't know what to do for my sister and brother-in-law. I just wish I could bring him back. It is so, so difficult to watch them experience such pain.

In addition to this incredible loss, my sister was pregnant at the time of the accident. We were told that that baby was fine. However, a month and a half later, we were told that he/she no longer had a heart beat. I have felt such anger towards God. However, I cannot doubt His existence . . . if I did so, where would I believe that my nephew were now? I have to believe . . . but I remain angry. I cannot see the other children in my family or in my fiance's family . . . it's too painful . . . I begin to resent those children . . . and I know that that's unfair to them.

My sister also endured physical injuries from the accident- a fractured heel and a two fractures in her lower vertebrae. It has been difficult to watch her use a wheelchair . . . to have to learn how to walk again. Physically, she improves daily. I just wish she had her baby. People have said “Well, she can have more children.” I don’t even have a response to that . . . NO one can EVER replace my nephew or ease the loss of my nephew . . . EVER.

The only thing that brings me comfort is thinking of my adorable and incredibly intelligent nephew talking and playing in Heaven . . . with other loved ones from my family. I just wish that we had had more time with him. I miss his humor, his sensitivity and his love. I miss hearing him call me Titi (Aunt).

My sister and brother-in-law are such attentive and loving parents. My sister keeps several files of my nephew’s artwork (in addition to the artwork that is displayed throughout the house). He loved to draw. My brother-in-law and nephew went on walks. During these walks, they befriended the cats of their neighborhood. My nephew used to help my sister bake . . . even things that he did not like the taste of! He did so simply because he enjoyed his time baking with Mommy! My brother-in-law taught my young nephew the names and titles of politicians. My nephew was well informed. He was learning karate and was beginning to play soccer. He was such a caring individual. They raised a wonderful angel.

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Guest Guest
To Chance's Auntie,

Your story moved me immensely. I did not yet tell my sister that I was going to post a message. She is a private person, so I will not reveal her name or my nephew's name.

My sister, like yours, lost her only child on November 2, 2005 . . . 26 days prior to his seventh birthday. My sister, nephew (who is also my Godson) and brother-in-law were in a car accident on 11/1/05 (All Saints Day). The axle of one of the wheels broke off, causing the car to flip over several times. No other cars were involved. My nephew was lucid immediately after the accident . . . he only complained of a belly ache. It was later determined that his liver and spleen were lacerated. They said "We have to be prepared." They could not stop the bleeding. Although I am told that this is true, I can't help but wonder if they really did do everything that they could have. With all of the advancements in medicine, it's hard to believe that more could not have been done. He was treated in one hospital for approximately twelve hours and was then rushed to another hospital which is known for excellent pediatric surgeons. They could not save him. I don't know what to do for my sister and brother-in-law. I just wish I could bring him back. It is so, so difficult to watch them experience such pain.

In addition to this incredible loss, my sister was pregnant at the time of the accident. We were told that that baby was fine. However, a month and a half later, we were told that he/she no longer had a heart beat. I have felt such anger towards God. However, I cannot doubt His existence . . . if I did so, where would I believe that my nephew were now? I have to believe . . . but I remain angry. I cannot see the other children in my family or in my fiance's family . . . it's too painful . . . I begin to resent those children . . . and I know that that's unfair to them.

My sister also endured physical injuries from the accident- a fractured heel and a two fractures in her lower vertebrae. It has been difficult to watch her use a wheelchair . . . to have to learn how to walk again. Physically, she improves daily. I just wish she had her baby. People have said “Well, she can have more children.” I don’t even have a response to that . . . NO one can EVER replace my nephew or ease the loss of my nephew . . . EVER.

The only thing that brings me comfort is thinking of my adorable and incredibly intelligent nephew talking and playing in Heaven . . . with other loved ones from my family. I just wish that we had had more time with him. I miss his humor, his sensitivity and his love. I miss hearing him call me Titi (Aunt).

My sister and brother-in-law are such attentive and loving parents. My sister keeps several files of my nephew’s artwork (in addition to the artwork that is displayed throughout the house). He loved to draw. My brother-in-law and nephew went on walks. During these walks, they befriended the cats of their neighborhood. My nephew used to help my sister bake . . . even things that he did not like the taste of! He did so simply because he enjoyed his time baking with Mommy! My brother-in-law taught my young nephew the names and titles of politicians. My nephew was well informed. He was learning karate and was beginning to play soccer. He was such a caring individual. They raised a wonderful angel.

My heart goes out to you. My neice & nephew were killed in a car accident over 6 years ago and I still grieve for them everyday. My neice was 9 and my nephew was 12. They were so full of life and such a huge part of our family. They were almost like my little brother and sister. My neice was born just after my 13th birthday, and my nephew was born on my 10th birthday. There are still days when I can't believe it really happened. My sister is amazing and has continued on with life, but you can still see the pain in her eyes. She has a 5 year old son - our little miracle - that keeps her very busy. I always heard that time heals all wounds, but now I'm wondering if this one will ever heal. This wound is almost as fresh as it was on April 5, 2000. That is the worst day of my life and I don't know if I could get through anything any harder than that. With every life event that occurs, I feel like it's not complete because they are not here with me. I was married in 2005 and I cried because they weren't there. Now, I'm pregnant with my 1st child and I hate so much that my baby will never know its cousins. I get through every day only because I know I'll see them again someday, but I miss them with all my heart and it physically hurts to this day. I will keep you in my prayers. May God grant you the strength to live life to the fullest.

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espoir

I wanted to relay my situation on this forum in the hopes that others may be experiencing something similar and be able to offer advice. I lost my niece almost one year ago today. My sister, my niece, and I were all very close, and my daughter considered her a best friend and sister. Her death was very sudden and unexpected; she was only 27 years old. This past year I have tried so hard to always be there for my sister, to support her, to give her a place where she could cry without holding back, to say whatever she felt - just trying hard to be there for her in whatever way I can. But the past few months she seems almost resentful of me; as though she resents that I have my daughter with me. She has said some hurtful things to me in this regard, and I've remained silent because I know they come from her pain. But her anger and resentment is driving a wedge between us. I don't know what else I can do. My daughter is now facing a health crisis. I've been so worried, but all my sister can say to me is to stop worrying and just be glad I have living children. Things like this hurt me, but I don't tell her because she is dealing with so much already. But I find now that I am becomming anxious each time we talk, because I wonder if the next thing that she might say that hurts me might cause me to speak up and hurt her.

It appears that we are not allowed to start our own discussions, and that the moderater initiates them. If this is the case, then I apologize. I just hoped that someone might have some helpful insight into this situation.

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kaijinscendre

This 16th my father got a call saying his oldest son had died. My half brother was raised by my dad for the first 7-8 years of his life before my dad and his first wife (bro's mom) got divorced. The bro lived with his mother while my dad had no contact with him until about 6 years ago.

I have only met my half brother once so I am not too upset but my father is devastated. I have lived with my father my whole life (he raised myself and 3 sisters). My father is not an emotional guy and tends to deal with things like this by ignoring it or drinking. He talks about it rarely and usually ends up tearing up.

I don't know what advice to give him, I am his 18 year old daughter. I am also pretty tight on my emotions and I am uncomfortable with hugging and "heart to hearts". But I don't think my older sisters or younger sister want to help. I am worried about my father.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with my father and his coping?

Any help or suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated and let me thank everyone in advance. Please post or email thanks.

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butterfly06

Hi I'm new here and saw that they had topic for support for aunts, uncles and cousins..

I just lost my niece Abigail 4 weeks ago she had just turned 1 on September 8th she died two weeks after her birthday..she had gotten a pill and taken it nobody knew this until she was later taken down to danville and they did blood work and urine sample..it started with her taking a seizure then was rushed to the hospital which there she had coded they revived her but it was to late she had developed brain damage...this is the hardest thing I ever been through in my entire life...I wish there I could bring my brother and my sister in law abigail back to them I would do anything to bring her back...my brother is devasted because it was one of his pills she had gotten into...I know any kind of words I say to him right now..I have a 1yr old little girl myself they would of been best friends they would of had sleep overs...now its all gone..Abbys parents and family our all lost...I just don't understand god I just don't...

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Guest Athena Marie

Today is my birthday. The first one since my nephew passed 2/6/19. I so deeply want him here. To hear his voice, have the tightest hugs and wettest kisses again. He had just turned 10 on 1/19/19 and a few weeks later he died. I have dug myself deep into work to get through each day. But all my thoughts keep going to him. Today I am working and I can normally just suck up the grief and tears but for some reason today I cant stop them from coming. 

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